Maybe Middle Age Ain't So Bad

My 40th October has arrived & it is not how I thought it would be. From a distance, 40 looked a bit intimidating, but up close I think I kinda like it.

I still have a couple of weeks to go, but rather than facing the birthday marked by black balloons with dread, I am the most fulfilled I can ever remember being. Of course, I am not such a fan of the grey contrasting against my dark hair, but there are solutions for that. My metabolism has slowed and this skin isn't nearly as elastic as it once was, but I will gladly trade it for the perspective and the memories.

Indeed my outer signs of wear are just a disguise for my inner growth. My friend recently described me as ' a box of birds' and I grinned. There is indeed vivacious life bubbling inside. In a world that tends to see 'authenticity' as just broadcasting the hard stuff, I wanted to pause and unapologetically plant a public flag here--at this place of free, content, grateful and happy.

I have forty years of life stories to tell, but most importantly, I have the courage to tell them because I realize my life so far is the sum of all those parts. Even the chapters that are cringe-inducing or heartbreaking, from this side of the hill, are obviously part of what God has used to get me here. As my friend Allen Levi wrote on his 42nd birthday,  "The things that I'd remove are the things that make the story mine."

After decades of discovery/trying to find out what I stand for, I feel far enough down my road to 'declare.' I am fairly aware of who I am--and perhaps more importantly, who I am not. I have grown comfortable enough in my (aging) skin to be me and walk my road without always feeling like it means the way you are doing your thing and walking your road makes me right or wrong. Other people's choices don't feel like personal affronts or indictments of mine the way they once did.  I absolutely have my moments, but they increasingly end with the peace that "my lines have fallen in pleasant places."

I have seen enough of life to understand most of the song lyrics now--the ones about searching, knowing, loving and losing. I've been in each of those places which allows for greater grace as I walk through this broken world. As a result, the occasional friendship drama is marked by more grace and truth than tears, offense and pride.

I enjoy being mature enough to realize how cleansing it is to simply admit when I am wrong. And knowing I don't have to be perfect or even completely understood to be loved? Well, that deep security is incredible.

I like being old enough to know that NO ONE has it all figured out. There is no longer the elusive dream that one day I will have it together and know all the things. This has released me to ask questions instead of faking competence--which it turns out, allows me to learn a great deal. It has also allowed me to take myself a lot less seriously.

There will always be people who don't particularly like me or 'get' me--and it is OK. As long as I am being loving and pursuing the Lord, I don't need your vote. Life is not a popularity contest, but a grand adventure where it is never too late to try and learn new things--and I'm planning to do just that.

I am enjoying the last couple of weeks of my 30s--they have been great. But, 40, I am looking forward to you.

I really think I'm gonna like it here.

A Very Messy Party

I have a birthday conundrum. I love to celebrate the lives of my sweet trio, but three kids sharing the same special day with not only different genders, but assorted interests is challenging. Add to the mix that it always falls on Memorial Day weekend during the last week of school and hosting a party gets a bit complicated. Have I mentioned that I am not crafty?

This year we opted to simply host the Second Grade year-end party and serve cake at the end. Scheduling was easier, attendance was awesome and we were able to find a fairly gender neutral theme: a messy party.

I had seen various things around the Internet with ideas of how to pull this off which combined with decades of Young Life and other youth ministry exposure resulted in SO MUCH fun. After receiving a few questions about the process/planning, I've document the process here in case it helps anyone else considering this. There are so many games, this really just scratches the surface, but we chose the following 10 and it took 32 kids about an hour to get through them.

When the children arrived, fun music was playing and my friend Trey (who agreed to be Mr. Red, our emcee and enthusiastic game leader) greeted everyone. White t-shirts were given to each child as their party favor. This is completely optional, of course, but it really illustrated the degree of messiness to start with a white background. After washing them the stains faded, but are still present as a badge of honor of sorts. Sending these to attendees ahead of time as part of the invitation might work well. Ours were put on over the shirts the children wore to the party.

Another tip regarding shirt sizing is that I ordered half youth medium and half youth large. The first party activity was having the kids line up shortest to tallest. We simply walked down the line, handing out Mediums until our supply was depleted, then switched to Large. It seemed to work!

During the t-shirt distribution each child was also given a number 1-4, which we wrote on their hand so they wouldn't forget. These numbers were used for the activities when we needed kids to quickly go to four corners for supplies. (This will make more sense later.) The entire process was under five minutes.

At this point, Mr. Red led everyone to the first station, the Before picture.

After a quick snapshot, the group was told to look at the number on their hands and then run to four corners of the yard to find adults with the correlating number. We used four dollar store buckets with the numbers 1-4 written on the side to mark these corners. Inside the buckets were small squirt guns (four for a dollar at the dollar store) containing purple colored water to increase the messiness factor. I considered using food coloring but didn't want to stain skin, so we used washable paint mixed with water. Different colors could be assigned to each corner, but for simplicity we just used one. It really was not set up as a contest--just an excuse to run, squirt and stain.

When the squirt guns were emptied (about 90 seconds later :-) Mr. Red called the kids to station #3. Three disposable pie pans were in place with Skittles (M&Ms or gummy bears work great too) buried under several cups of flour. Mr. Red asked for three volunteers who knelt on the ground before the pie tins with hands behind their back. They then had one minute to try to get as many Skittles out of the flour pan as they could using only their face/mouth.

Make sure to have someone ready with a hand towel and water to drink...plain flour does NOT taste very good.

Station #4 involved six volunteers (three teams of two). Three kids had whipped cream applied to their faces and heads while three messy-averse volunteers were given a Ziploc full of cheese balls. Their task was to toss the cheese balls and try to get as many as possible to stick.

 

 

Station #5 was my personal favorite, twister with real (washable) paint in the circles.

Although only two pairs actually played over half of the children wound up covered in paint...and so did the host.

Let's just say there was a lot of hugging going on once paint got involved. Although we used washable paint it DID stain. You have been warned.

From this activity, the kids were asked to run to their four corners again (remember the numbers on their hands?) where cups of jello were distributed.

 

After a little taste testing, there was a 3-2-1 countdown and the bedlam/food fight began.

 

While the children were still in the grassy field we asked them to divide into two straight lines facing each other and handed out raw eggs. A good old fashioned egg toss ensued.

Our 8th activity was a wacky hair salon where three boys were chosen to style three girls' hair. Their only supplies were shaving cream and hotdogs.

 

There was a certain brother who reveled in the opportunity to 'decorate' his sister.

After this activity we took a snack break. Sticky hands were rinsed with a water hose and a buffet of messy finger foods were served: watermelon, powdered doughnuts, Cheetos, Doritos. I am sure there are healthier alternatives, but we were all about the messiness. We recognized four of the Summer birthdays with small smash cakes (my nine year olds' idea).

 

 

The group Summer birthday celebration followed...and it was clearly the favorite activity for the children: human ice cream sundaes. All of the kids with Summer birthdays sat back to back in a circle while they were transformed into a sticky treat. Children lined up and took turns covering the birthday kids with ice cream, chocolate and strawberry syrup, whipped cream, cherries, sprinkles and ice cream cones.

The grand finale was a spaghetti slip and slide. A tarp was covered in six large packages of boiled spaghetti noodles, cans of tomato sauce and a secret ingredient of shampoo to up the slipperiness.

 We didn't intend for it to be a group effort...but these kiddos could not wait!

 

And then the "kid wash" began! I could not believe the various levels of messiness. It was very clear who enjoyed the opportunity to get filthy/sticky/wet and who did not--but it seemed that even the messy-averse enjoyed themselves. I think the key was to make the activities voluntary. One of my own (sensory) children managed to stay on the sidelines of most of the activities, but he told me afterwards it was 'the best ever.'

Lessons I learned:
1. WARN PARENTS to only let kids wear things that can be stained...even the 'washable paint' left its mark. (Chocolate syrup and cherry juice leave pesky stains too!)
2. Ask attendees to bring a change of clothes and an old towel too. We do not have a pool, so we used a water hose to wash everyone down after the festivities.
3. Have old towels on hand to wipe faces after some of the messier games and water available for kids that are bothered by sticky hands.
4. Have a place for folks to go to the bathroom--and possibly a volunteer to supervise messy kiddos coming in and out of your house. I found 'washable' paint smudges in a few random places :-)
5. Having 4-6 adults assigned to help you out is essential. We had the stations all set with supplies, but the four corners each need to be manned and a couple of extra hands are needed for cleaning up messy children after each game.

I would absolutely do this party again! Gathering the supplies, setting up and preparing the noodles, jello and water guns was time consuming but the payoff (these faces) made it completely worth it!

Have fun!

More Than Just a Number

Our children celebrated their 9th birthday today.

This post has gone at least a dozen different ways as I have drafted it in my head this week. From reliving the dramatic life and death events of that day, to celebrating each of their lives and the way they stretch me in new ways as they grow. I considered documenting our celebratory traditions, posting NICU pictures compared to now or open letters to each of them. But this evening as we lit sparklers in the driveway (a gift from my precious, wonderful friend/neighbor/surrogate aunt to my kiddos) my husband and I reveled in how they were suddenly, inexplicably and undeniably nine year olds.

To a child, I firmly believe, age is so much more than just a number. At least for my trio, today, it seemed an invitation to step it up. I am not speaking figuratively, it really did seem to happen overnight.

Because birthdays are indeed "Yes Days" (within reason, of course) we allowed the kiddos to choose post-church activities. As a result, we spent a gorgeous afternoon at the pool.
P sat with legs crossed in the shade reading to his heart's content. (So many new books, so little time.)
K swam and ran and played in the nonstop way only our little energizer bunny can--smile beaming constantly.
R 'held court' on the green lawn just outside the pool fence--leading a 4 hour baseball extravaganza with Dads and friends and little boys being cheerfully brought into the fold of the Summer tradition.

Between glances to see that they were having a blast, I managed to read 130 pages of a book.

As we walked home with tan skin and wonderfully exhausted bodies I watched the strides of those six legs that once filled my womb like spaghetti noodles. I listened to the voices I got to know via the late night sounds of baby monitors as they enthusiastically shared the stories of their day's adventures. Mostly, I simply noted the changing way my no-longer-babies carried themselves. While the trio's physical stature remains small in comparison to their peers, there is no denying their affect. My people have solidly joined the ranks of 'big kids.'

If you had asked me to project how I would feel about this, I am sure my response would have been wistful...but the truth is that I am not only at peace, but joyfully so. And tonight, I do wish I could sneak back for just a moment to that terrified, overwhelmed new Mama version of me 9 years ago and whisper:

Hang on. Dig in. Breathe. You cannot even fathom what is coming. Motherhood will be exhausting, terrifying, gut wrenching, sleep depriving, laughter and tear inducing, joy producing, stretching, rewarding, life altering and heart changing...But it will be so very good. (And that's just the first nine years.)

Grateful beyond words...

Finding Gifts

Three enthusiastic 8 year olds woke up ready to celebrate bright & early this morning. We forced them to ingest at least a little breakfast, then started what may become a new birthday tradition--a scavenger hunt for their gifts. (This was all before 7am, mind you.)

 

As they gleefully dashed from clue to clue--inside our home and out-- I saw a metaphor for life in the years to come. I hope their pursuit of the gifts God has for them through life is this enthusiastic. I pray that they will slow down and pay attention to the clues God gives them through His Word and their personal relationship with Him.

 

And as I lifted my camera to capture them running around in the back I inadvertently snapped this shot of my husband looking on. (I only wish it showed the excited expression on his face as he proudly watched them discover the gifts he had provided for them.)

A father's love. His desire to provide good gifts for his children. His delight in watching them receive his provision.

Such a poignant reminder.

For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Matthew 7:8-11 NIV


The rest of the day consisted of time with loved ones, a pool party...normal 8 year old birthday stuff.

As I downloaded the photos from our day, this series from the scavenger hunt really spoke to me about God's love and provision for His children. The images were a reminder that I must continue to pray for my children to know and follow hard after Him. I have hope for the years to come and the 'gifts' that will be discovered during this adventure of life.

And as if to make sure I got the message loud and clear, during bedtime prayers tonight my R stopped me in my tracks. He & I were discussing something he prayed anxiously about a couple of nights ago, that 'worked itself out' today. As I pointed out to R that God had taken care of his fear, he grinned. With the wisdom of a soul much older than his eight years, he proclaimed:
"You know, Mom, sometimes God doesn't answer your prayers right away because He wants to wait and see what you really need."

From the mouths of babes. 
  
The first 8 years as parents of these three has been full of gifts and surprises. I can only imagine what the next eight will bring. But I know WHO will bring them. I trust the Author. I can't wait to see what He has in store.

Birthday Gifts

This time of year seems to be a major time for birthday parties. It gets somewhat complicated when it comes to gift giving with three same-aged children. Because they have been in separate classes for the last two years, there are some friendships that are somewhat specific to each child. I never assume the invitation to a party is for all three--but generally the hosting parents are kind enough to extend the invitation to the siblings as well.

I feel like if they are all invited to the party we should give the equivalent of three gifts. Take three classrooms full of children and this starts to add up quickly. I love to give gifts, so I thought I would share some of our favorite gifts to give (and receive) at reasonable prices!

I keep a gift closet with things that most kids would enjoy. If I know that child has a particular passion we will branch out to something more specific, but the gift closet has made life much simpler.

Disclaimer: I get absolutely no kickback for things I write here...these are just some ideas I wanted to share.

Ed Emberly books (and stamp pads) I cannot tell you how much we adore these books. They are the source of endless rainy day fun. The best thing is that adults enjoy them as much as kids. I have found the stamp pads at the dollar store, but you have to piece together colors. Melissa & Doug makes a great rainbow colored set that I prefer.(age 3-99)

My Book About Me
This Dr. Seuss book was a gift this year that my children dove into immediately. They had a great time completing the book and I know we will treasure it (with their answers) for years to come. (age 5-8)

Fred & Friends Food Face Plates
I randomly discovered these at Barnes and Noble one day and bought them (as a trial run, of course) for my children. We had a blast with them (and continue to). My one hold up was a concern that it would encourage bad table manners. If you have a problem with children playing with food I do not recommend these...but we use them at lunch time from time to time and my children adore them. We have not attempted this yet, but I think they would be fun to use with toddlers at non-meal time with frosting, whipped cream, etc...just as entertainment. Note that this are ceramic, so probably not useful for very young children. (age 3-8)

McDonald's or Ice Cream Shop gift cards

This is an easy gift to keep on hand that my trio LOVES receiving. They like to look forward to the treat in the time between when they receive the card and when we get to use it. They also seem to revel in the opportunity to 'pay like a gwown up' with their own 'cwedit card.'

Stomp Rocket

Although this is billed as a 'boy gift' K loves this as much as the boys. The great thing is that our Daddy (ok, and Mommy) thoroughly enjoy it to. (age 5 & up)

Sticky Mosaics
I discovered these a couple of years ago and they continue to be a hit. My children spent hours on these last Summer (at age 5). They come in various themes (masculine and feminine) so it is fun to match the interest to the recipient and/or party theme.

So, I would love to hear from you in the comments. What is your 'go to' birthday gift that always brings a smile (at a great price)?

Six Years

I really was going to try and avoid another sappy birthday post. God is teaching me some really neat things right now (unrelated to birthdays), so I have 5-6 draft posts waiting in the wings. But today, all I can think about is May 26, 2004. Each time I look at the clock I think back to where I was this time 6 years ago. How was I feeling? 

While much of the detail of that day is fuzzy, there are definitive moments that are crystal clear.

When Dr. Marcus came in on early morning rounds and declared, "There is no need to be a hero here. You have made it to 31 weeks. Today is baby day. I'll call and schedule an OR."

Wait, what day is today? May 26th. May 26th? Baby day. Holy cow! Baby day...

I called my husband and cried. He was already rounding at work over an hour away. 

"Honey, get here quick. It is baby day!"

Then I called my parents and my mother-in-law who lived 20 minutes away. I had been confined to that hospital bed for 8 1/2 weeks. You would think I would have thought through this moment. But how could you, really? The half hour I laid in that bed alone as nurses scrambled around making preparation for the delivery was bewildering. I was overwhelmed, joyful and scared to death. Although there was no way to fully grasp it, I knew that day was going to change my life. 

I think about how I felt when I woke up the day of my wedding day. There was anticipation, nervousness about the details, but primarily it was joy. I was about to spend the rest of my life with a man I still couldn't believe God chose for me!

Baby day was different. I couldn't wait to meet them, but I was painfully aware of how very little I knew about newborns or how to raise people and shepherd little souls...and two boys? I didn't know what to do with boys!

When they rolled me down to pre-op holding I just cried. Tears seemed the perfect release for how hard we had prayed to get to this moment: parenthood! They released my joy, my exhaustion, my fear, my anticipation...and countless other emotions I probably still cannot completely sort out. 

Today I feel some of those same feelings...I am 1/3 of the way to adulthood with my trio. (Yikes!) We have finished a few chapters now: infancy, toddlerhood, preschool. So much of the paraphernalia that once encumbered us is now a thing of the past. 

I was reminded of this last night when we took another spontaneous nature walk around the golf course. One minute we were in the front yard playing and the next we were on a 45 minute adventure. The world is still exciting, interesting and inviting. There is budding independence mixed with sweet innocence. I am thrilled about all the adventure ahead of us. 

I also have some anticipation. I know that as I symbolically roll down the hall this day it is towards a chapter of childhood that will bring friendship challenges, back talk, materialism, peer pressure, homework/grades and much more. 

Six years later I have far less fear, because I know WHO is pushing me--WHO is in charge and WHO wrote this beautiful story. 

Ironically, the things I was afraid of this time 6 years ago weren't even the biggest threats. It never even crossed my mind that my life might be threatened. I borrowed a lot of worry--and it wasn't even aimed in the right direction. God showed Himself in a mighty way May 26, 2004. He wrote a life changing chapter of my story that day. 

I don't want to dwell in the past. I want to live in today. Yet, I have learned that the faith necessary for today is a product of the faithfulness of my God through the ages. So, I pause to reflect, to remember what He has done and to shout His praises. He is undoubtedly Sovereign. He is good. I cannot wait to see what He has in store for us next.

And to my children, happy, happy, happy day! I never could have dreamed of little people as bright, funny, caring and precious as you. Each of you is a totally unique gift from God. It blows me away to think about how He has fearfully and wonderfully made you--on purpose and with a purpose. You challenge me and teach me in ways I could have never imagined being 'schooled.' I cannot wait to see what God does in and through your lives. Your Daddy and I LOVE you. 

Mario Brothers Party

A couple of months ago when I asked my sons what type of party they would like they had two criteria: boys only and an obstacle course.I toyed with several variations, including a food fight party (that one only lasted a few seconds) before deciding to incorporate their new found love for Mario Brothers Wii. Their birthday request was a Nintendo DS, so this seemed like a great plan. I especially appreciated that we could emphasize the fact that Mario & Luigi are brothers.Thankfully, they were clear on their character preference (and they were not the same.) I started searching the Internet and found lots of great ideas. The invitations were made to look like tickets and personalized by a vendor I found on Ebay.

When guests arrived they received a mustache and a red or green hat. (I found these online for $2 each.) I planned to make Ls and Ms for them...but thanks to jury duty, last week of school and a little thing called life, that didn't happen.

We had a pinata...
I made a King Boo bean bag toss.
And a "Power Up Panel" memory-type game. (Somehow we didn't get any pictures of that. I was too busy manning the game pieces.) I read another great idea online to make a "Pin the Mustache on Mario" game, but ran out of time and energy before making that happen!

The highlight, however, was the 'coin battle.' We set up a course in the back corner of the yard using character images on card stock (taped to bamboo garden stakes). I sprinkled 144 gold coins throughout the grass and had adults stationed around the edges with blue (ice) balls and red (fire) balls. And then all the little Mario and Luigi's took the course to see who could find the most coins. If you were hit with a ball you were not out, you just had to either freeze (blue) or play on your knees (red).

I realize that nothing about this post is making any sense if you have never played Mario Brothers--but to our guests, I was speaking their language.
When it was all said and done the boys (predictably) changed the rules to involve jumping, stomping, chasing and lots of wild action.

My husband was able to track down Mario themed music that we could play so it would sound like the real game.

Our favorite bakery came through with fantastic themed cakes that made the birthday boys grin with delight.
We were all completely exhausted when it was all over--but a great time was had by all and memories were definitely made!

K's Art Party

My girl loves nothing more than art projects. Therefore, it was only fitting that for her very first solo birthday party she would choose this as a theme.I was really surprised at how little I could find online about "Art" as a birthday party theme. Our decorations were limited to colorful disposable tablecloths, balloons and a clothes line for hanging our projects to dry. (At the beginning of the party I had squares I had painted brightly spelling out the birthday girl's name--had to distort them for her anonymity here.)
I was able to find supplies for a few projects at Michael's and at a great discount school supply website and a terrific local bakery made a cake that my girl adored.As the guests arrived they went to a table to decorate their canvas smocks. (I also warned them on the invitation that we would be painting so they could dress accordingly.) We used fabric markers for this project so we would not have to wait for them to dry.
After the aprons they painted canvas pillow cases and tote bags. Thankfully, I have a sweet friend who is an artist and a former teacher, so she offered some helpful hints. First, she suggested that I wash everything ahead of time and press it so there would not be fold creases to work around. (Great idea!) She also told me about something called textile medium that you mix in with the acrylic paint to make the projects washable. (Brilliant!)
At the third table, the guests were able to paint small canvas squares. My friend wisely suggested we paint the backgrounds a light solid color in advance. We did this one hour ahead and they dried in plenty of time.

The only thing she forgot to warn me about was my placement of snacks. I had small bowls of colorful treats in the center of each work table. I never accounted for the fact that creative little artists might use them in their art work. Skittles, gumballs and M&Ms wound up adhered to canvases and bags as decorations. The unintended consequence was a few extraneous ants stuck to the projects as well!
Finally, each guest decorated a paper shopping bag to use as their 'goodie bag' for their artwork. I thought 5 projects would take 60-90 minutes, but I forgot my audience. They were done in 30-45 minutes!

The kittens came out when the art projects were done and the girls fawned all over them until the kittens couldn't take it anymore.

All in all, it was a surprisingly easy, fun and quick party. Most importantly, the guest of honor had a wonderful time.
The fact that Grandmother and Granddaddy gave K a long awaited American Girl doll was just icing on the cake. (No pun intended.)
Contrary to the look on this face, even my boys had fun. Although it was clear that they couldn't wait for this party to end so they could morph into Mario and Luigi to celebrate with their friends. (More on that later!)