Lots of Scotts

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T19:32:00.002-05:00

"Then hear, O gracious Savior; accept the praise we bring,
That we who know Your favor may serve You as our King.
And whether our tomorrows be filled with good or ill,
We'll triumph through our sorrows and rise to bless You still."
-Gustav Holst, O, God Beyond All Praising

(Thanks for this, Beck. It has lingered with me all day!)

Thanksgiving Prep

2009-11-24T21:19:00.005-05:00

I spent today at the school celebrating Thanksgiving with my children. (There are no pictures because I have been having technical issues with my camera for the last couple of weeks. Thankfully, I think I worked them out today!)

Tomorrow I will brine two turkeys, set up tables, press table cloths, make place cards with verses about thankfulness with the assistance of my three favorite little people. I am not stressed out. I am joyful. I am looking forward to having both sides of the family join us in our home Thursday.

I LOVE the simplicity of Thanksgiving. I love that marketing people have not found a way to make it all about buying things. Instead it is about being together and celebrating the gifts in our life. Thanksgiving is perspective. It is a time to purposefully hit the pause button and breathe deep and reflect on how we have been blessed. God is faithful and we get too busy to notice.

I also love the holiday because it is my yearly reminder of the joy we had as we announced our pregnancy six years ago. We didn't even know it was multiples. An infertility diagnosis had led us to 'sow in tears' but we were truly able to 'reap in joy' and experience the harvest of 'armloads of blessings' mentioned in Psalm 126.

It seemed like a dream, too good to be true, when God returned Zion's exiles.
We laughed, we sang, we couldn't believe our good fortune.
We were the talk of the nations— "God was wonderful to them!"
God was wonderful to us; we are one happy people.
And now, God, do it again—bring rains to our drought-stricken lives
So those who planted their crops in despair will shout hurrahs at the harvest,
So those who went off with heavy hearts will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing. -Psalm 126 (The Message)

I didn't even realized until tonight when I looked up the reference for this post that it is called "a Pilgrim song." How appropriate!

May we rejoice in the blessings of today...and those of the past that remind us of the faithfulness of our God through the ages.

Sweeney Update

2009-11-23T20:57:00.005-05:00

Today was a very big day for the Sweeneys. I will allow the two recaps I received via e-mail to sum it up. First, from Sweeney's good friend/mentor Tom:

"We got to spend about 4 hours with Mike today in his room in the Critical Care unit of M.D. Anderson Cancer Center. Mike was understandably tired after the past week of chemo to suppress his white blood cells, but he was feeling fairly well today. The most poignant moment for us was when they brought in the TIL cells for infusion. Mike’s doctor, a nurse and the two lab technicians who worked with Mike’s cells were all present for this 15-20 minute event. As we watched the nurse hang the bag with the TIL cells and connect the tube to the port in his vein, we all felt an incredible amount of anxiousness, adrenaline and a bit of awe. It’s hard to describe exactly what this felt like – maybe even a bit of fearfulness. In that moment, as the cells were going in, we all knew, in some sense, “this is it,” this is Sweeney’s best shot left, and that brought a strongest sense of the gravity of Mike’s condition I’ve experienced yet. Then Cabell, Jeff and I all prayed for Mike as the TIL cells dripped into his body and while all the aforementioned staff quietly and reverently bowed their heads. We shared with them that there were several hundred donors who had given more than $200,000 in order to pay for this procedure. They were impressed.

Then they impressed us. The lab technicians told us all about how the TIL cells are cultivated. They initially had about 37 million cells and they grew them into about 37 BILLION. Each cell multiplied by a factor of 1000 – and each of them is specifically hungry for Mike Sweeney’s melanoma tumors. They also told is that they have harvested cells like this in about 200 people but that so far only 23 people had their cells grow in the lab and then passed the next test – that the cells actually kill the tumor cells. So, in other words, only 10% of patients in this TIL therapy trial even get to the stage where Mike is. That’s also amazing.

We left hopeful that this, by all accounts, miraculous moment would have its fullest effect on Mike’s cancer. We prayed that it would and we trust the Lord from here. "

Did you read those numbers? And to think that the God who created and gives life to each of those cells is the very one we are able to access any time we want to through prayer...it blows me away.

And then the following from Cabell:
"So today was pretty amazing. More emotions than even I can sort through. I wish you all could have seen this room. I'll try to describe it. Sweeney in the bed on his right Dr. P Sweeney's melanoma doctor. Next to P was the head of the clinical trial. Next the 2 doctors who have been overseeing the cells in the lab (when I said they had been nursing those cells since mid April, one quickly clarified "Yes, April 13th is the day they came to us.") Then Dr. H, the head of the melanoma department, Connie our nurse for the day, then Jeff, then Tom and then me. All of us with masks and gloves circling the bed. Jeff, Tom and I with a hand on Sweeney- praying. Jeff, Tom and I prayed thanking God for the doctors, for his provision of this treatment, for you our friends who provided it...and of course begged God to use the cells to heal his body. It was all pretty intense.

As soon as the IV bag was empty, Sweeney told all the doctors how even though our insurance denied us God moved in our family and family of friends and raised the money in 3 weeks. They all knew the story already.

One of the doctors from the lab said they have harvested cells from about 250 patients, only about 48 of them have cells grow and respond in the lab, and of those 48, only 23- Sweeney being 24 have been able to receive this treatment. So to say that we are grateful is a failure of words.

When the crowd cleared out Jeff, Tom and I read every name on the donation list, thanking God for each person. All 435 names.

I hope that after the doctors get home and sort through the "that was really, really weird" response, I hope they feel valued, celebrated, appreciated. I hope God reminded them today of why they became doctors. I hope they will consider Christ and why we told God our hope was ultimately in Him and we will love Him even if He doesn't use TIL to heal Sweeney."

I was blown away by the BILLION number in Tom's e-mail, but I am equally in awe of the 435 number. I am reminded that that is only a small fraction of the people who have been following Sweeney's journey. It does not include the literal thousands of people who have been touched in some way by this story.

I am astounded by the fact that while our God is capable of doing as He pleases--not in need of any of our help--He allows us to be a part of the story. I cannot tell you how profoundly I experience the character of God simply from 'doing life' with others. I love that God created our hearts for relationships. Can you imagine life without them?

We don't know how Sweeney's story will end...but I know that I serve the One who does. He is purposeful, all-knowing and all-powerful. He has plans. None of this catches Him by surprise. He created the cells that course through my friend's veins. He granted wisdom and knowledge to the doctors and nurses treating him. He moved in the hearts of hundreds of people to give and to intercede.

He is a mighty, mighty God and He holds the world...you and me...my friends and family...and whatever issue you are burdened with/for...He holds it all in His Hands.

Questions

2009-11-22T21:59:00.005-05:00

Over the last several weeks I have noticed that K has taken a special interest in singing about and speaking of God. I mentioned to my husband last week that it seemed something was going on in her heart and yesterday he got a glimpse for himself.

We spent 6 hours in the car yesterday because of a day trip to visit with my extended family. As night was falling and we were pulling back into our town K interrupted the darkness with this statement," You know what I am really thankful for? Jesus dying on the cross for me."
"It is the most special gift anyone could give you,"I agreed.
"Yep, I am so glad he did that so that when I do bad things I can be forgiven." She then proceeded to articulate the Gospel clearly in her own words.

My husband and I exchanged looks and he mouthed, "This is awesome!"

And it is. But, really, I am a little freaked out. I pray nightly that my children will come to know the precious love of our Father and accept Him as their own. Now that I see it beginning to happen in one of them, I am excited, but nervous that I don't know what I am supposed to do next. I acknowledge that it is the Lord at work, but what is my role as her mother? Do I lead her in a prayer of salvation? Do I take her to talk to pastors at our church?

I have mentioned before that I did not grow up surrounded by conversation about the Lord. I went to VBS each Summer and Wednesday night activities (G.A.s anyone?) with my Grandmother. Yet, I could not explain the Gospel until I was in 7th grade. I thought being a Christian simply meant believing there was a God.

The Summer before 4th grade, I 'walked the aisle' at my Baptist church on the final day of Vacation Bible School. The Lord was really tugging on my heart. When the church visitation team came to call on my parents, they decided I was too young to make that decision, so I didn't 'pray the prayer' until 4 years later. I suppose that may have a little something to do with my hesitance with K.

Mentally, I wonder if her acceptance of Christ so young will mean as much to her as mine did as a 13 year old.

Just Monday she asked me about fictitious characters in a movie we were watching. "Why are those boys so mean, Mama?"
"I don't think they have God's love in their hearts," I replied.
"But their Mama is kind and loves God. Why aren't they?"she asked.
God gave me a great opportunity to explain to her that just because your parents love God, it doesn't always mean you do. Each person has to accept Jesus for themselves.

There is no denying the Spirit is at work in her little heart.

I am definitely praying about all of this, but I would love to hear your thoughts. Do I just keep listening as she chews through some of this stuff or do I use the next conversation as an opportunity to pray with her?

Strong or Spoiled?

2009-11-20T20:32:00.003-05:00

I completed the Beth Moore Esther study last week and there are so many nuggets I am still pondering. One of the questions Beth asked that has been lingering is this: Am I strong in my faith or just spoiled?

Think about it. Compared to people around the world, I am insanely wealthy. I have central heating and air, a comfortable bed, plenty of food and clothing. I have access to health care. I have the freedom to worship my God (and write about Him on the Internet from my very own computer with mostly uninterrupted access.) I don't have to worry about how I am going to feed my children. I have insurance to cover most catastrophes. I have a husband that loves me. My children have access to excellent educational opportunities.

I don't have everything I want, of course, but I have much more than I need.

My family is surrounded by loving friends. We are happy and healthy. We are not just surviving, we are thriving.

I listen to adolescents at the group home tell their stories, flip through the Compassion website or read the blog of friends of mine serving as missionaries in Guatemala and am quickly reminded that I am living a life of comparable ease. I don't want to forget what 'real life' looks like for millions of God's children.

If you are reading this post, I would venture to say you are in a similar situation. You have a home, access to clean water, freedom, food to eat, eyes to see, and the resources to enable you to get on a computer and be exposed to the world. When we put it all in perspective, we have it made don't we? God has been good to us in practical, comfortable ways.

So, back to Beth's challenge. It seems it is pretty easy to love, serve and worship God when things are going your way. Life is good, therefore, God must be good. There is a human tendency to measure the goodness of the Giver by the quality of His Gifts...but what will happen to that kind of faith when the storms come?

I think that is why the Sweeney's story moves so many. They, like Job, are in the center of difficult, turbulent times that would cause the strongest to plead for mercy or run away in anger and frustration...and yet, to the cross they cling tightly. As they stare mortality in the face they KNOW what matters.

Our accountant, a Christ following, zealous 40 year old father of 3, was diagnosed with cancer this week that is PET positive in a number of places (bones) throughout his body. His wife sent a beautiful e-mail today where she reminded the readers that "at the heart of every storm there is a victory waiting to be claimed." She also quoted James, "Whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow" James 1:2-3

And so tonight I ask again: Am I strong or just spoiled?

Not Yet

2009-11-19T21:51:00.006-05:00

Do not misunderstand me, I adore Christmas. The music, the lights, the meaning, the traditions, the smells...I love it. But I am increasingly annoyed at how people have allowed the decorating, song playing and celebrating of Christmas to skip right over Thanksgiving.

It is not just the stores, I have come to expect Christmas displays to immediately replace Halloween ones. It is marketing. I have noticed this year, more than ever that it is happening in homes. Last Saturday night I was driving through a nearby neighborhood and noticed quite a few decorated trees already up in living room windows. I found myself saying "Not yet!"

Little R has been begging me to put the Christmas music on my ipod and I have said the same thing to him, "Not yet."

P wanted to go to the mall last Friday to see Santa arrive, "Not yet."

K keeps asking when "Max," our elf, will reappear and her answer is the same, "Not yet."

Yes, there is a small part of me that feels mean. I know it would be much easier to give in and let them start enjoying the things that bring them happiness. But I believe part of the reason these traditions bring such joy is because of the anticipation that builds up in waiting.

To the teenagers so anxious to experience physical love outside the bounds of God's intent in marriage I can almost hear the Holy Spirit whisper "Not yet."

To the single woman who doesn't understand how many more times she will have to be a bridesmaid before she is the one dressed in white...Not yet.

To the couple waiting with open arms for their shot at parenthood...Not yet.

We are reminded countless times through Scripture that we serve an 'on time' God. There is purpose in everything He does, even (dare I say, especially) the waiting.

So this week I will continue to hold my children at bay with "Not yet" so we can enjoy THIS present season...of quietly, humbly reflecting on all we have to be thankful for TODAY.

Next Friday morning I will set my dining room table with my new Christmas china, load up the ipod with Christmas songs, drive to the mall in search of Santa and probably even have an appearance from the elf...but not yet.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven" Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV)

A Different Kind of Milestone

2009-11-18T20:33:00.006-05:00

I try hard not to share stories about the same child two days in a row, but this was simply too poignant not to record.

Both of my boys are emotional. P's reactions to upsetting situations involve anxiety and freak outs. R, on the other hand, reacts with anger. His teacher, Ms. Wanda, and I have been working on using 'peaceful hands.'

A couple of weeks ago I made deals with all three children. If K could stop biting her nails "until the white part showed" I would let her get them painted. She decided she would rather have a Beanie Baby. R & P asked what they could do to earn a Beanie Baby too. Because P frequently has school work sent home that he did not finish in class, we agreed he could get one if he did not have work sent home for a week. R's deal was to use peaceful hands at school for one week straight.

I confess that I thought it would be a long time before any of my children would receive their promised prize...but never underestimate the power of a motivated 5 year old. This morning K flashed her hands at me...and for the first time in 2 years I noticed her nails needed trimming.

I looked at the calendar and realized both boys had also met their goal, so this afternoon we purchased Skunkers the skunk, Slithery the snake and Ming the panda. It was a short-lived victory for R.

Tonight when I picked the children up from choir, their teacher informed me that R had thrown a bean bag with quite a bit of force that hit his friend, Jack, in the face.
"Was it on accident?"
"No, ma'amb," he muttered with his head hanging low.
"Were you angry?"
He nodded his head up and down.
"Is that using peaceful hands?"
"No, ma'amb," he pouted.
"Well, it looks like Slithery needs to spend some time with me until you can find your peaceful hands again."
"But I wanted to sweep wiff himb!!" He began to cry.

We live only about a mile from our church, so the discussion was still fresh as we came in the backdoor.
"Can I at least take Slithery upstairs and put him in my woom?"
My husband and I agreed that was not a good idea.
He dropped his head and walked into the dining room and crumpled into a pile in the corner, facing the wall.
"Let's go upstairs for bed, buddy. It's late."
He didn't respond, so my husband walked over and picked him up to point him towards the stairs.
"Stop!" he cried. " I was twying to do what Ms. Wanda taught me. She says when I am angwy I need to go find a quiet corner to count in until I don't feel so angwy anymow-a. I need to stay here and count," he said as he fought back tears.

Seriously, it may well be the proudest I have ever been of that sweet boy. I got tears in my eyes and a tight knot in my heart as I watched him battle the strong pull of his emotions and choose something better. And while there are a lot of things you can try to teach your children, something like self control just seems to come with maturity.

In retrospect, I am even thankful that the way he chose to deal with it is not something I taught him. I know that sounds crazy, but I might be tempted to take a little credit if it were so. (Just keeping in real.) Instead, I got to marvel at how God is working in my son's life. My hot-headed boy is growing up to be a young man I am proud of.

It was as precious of a moment as watching K ride her bike down the driveway independently...and this milestone will take him much farther in life.

R's bedtime prayer

2009-11-17T19:50:00.004-05:00

De-ya God,
Pwease, pwease, pweease help make Sweeney get bedder. And I pwray for all of da football playas ev-we-whey-ya 'cuz I think maybe some of dem have a game tonight. Help keep dose football playas safe and God pwease let dem win, but only if dey are a rwed team or a bwue team and not, not, NOT if dey are an or-wange team. Oh! Or dey can win if deir shiwts are bwack.
In Jee-sus name, Amen.

Blame on being a boy in the South. SEC rivalries are in his blood.

Gifts

2009-11-16T21:04:00.003-05:00

There are many things I did not understand (but judged anyway) before I became a parent.

Why do people bring messy faced children to the grocery store? How hard is it to wipe their face?
And how about that unbrushed hair and mismatched clothes?
Why do people with kids stop going out to dinner and other social functions?
Why couldn't mothers control their children's public outbursts?

That brief list just scratches the surface. One by one, I have humbly had to deal with 'eating some crow.'

Sunday morning, I confronted another one...arriving at Toys R Us 45 minutes before their posted opening so I could attempt to get one of these 'hot toys.' I couldn't believe myself, getting sucked into the commercialism before Thanksgiving has even come...and yet, I did it, joyfully and with a gleam in my eye even. (I had already spent almost 2 hours visiting other stores and scouring the Internet.)

I know it is crazy...especially because my children do not even know this particular toy exists. But I know them and I know that they will love it. I can already hear their squeals and giggles. So, I swallow my pride and work behind the scenes to make that gift happen.

I cannot help but think it is a small glimpse of how God goes about giving good gifts to us. Like my children, who will soon be making their list for Santa, we pray for specific things. The problem is, there are some things that we don't even know to ask for. We may unwrap our 'gift' with some measure of confusion and disappointment. I didn't ask for that...

And it often ends up being our very favorite gift, because it was given to us from Someone who knows us intimately.

Big Girl

2009-11-15T19:59:00.003-05:00

This weekend my girl joined the ranks of the "Big Girls." She mastered her bicycle without training wheels.

She is immensely proud of her accomplishment--and I am too. She has been self-motivated to practice daily for the last week. Saturday her Daddy put her pedals back on and gave her a good push. It was the final step. The lights all clicked and she was on her way!

I have had a hard time keeping her off of the driveway since. She has spent the weekend going round and round. Each lap increased her confidence. They also seemed to age her. I feel like she turned 8 this weekend.

Her accomplishment also seemed to really motivate R. Tonight, in the dark, before dinner he was still working on catching up. All he lacks is learning how to get going. I think it is safe to assume he will be independently biking in a day or so.

There are so many other milestones that I think of as being "the big ones." This one snuck up on me.

How can it be? The next thing we know they will be losing teeth!

Extravagant Love

2009-11-14T09:35:00.011-05:00

Yesterday morning our precious friends, the Sweeneys, left their cozy home in the darkness of 5am for a journey back to Houston's famed MD Anderson. Monday Sweeney will begin a grueling cancer treatment regimen that involves tearing down his immune system in order to rebuild it with turbo-charged versions of his own cancer fighting cells. He will be isolated to protect him from the slightest germs which could be devastating. This process will be followed by high dose IL2 (which, for the record, is much more grueling in real life than on Grey's Anatomy) and chemotherapy.

My amazing friend, Cabell, will sit by his bedside watching and praying and loving him through his illness.

This treatment, although more effective than chemo and recommended by all the national experts who were consulted, was not covered by insurance. Our friend, a Young Life missionary, had to have $200,000 in cash ($120,000 up front) in order to begin the treatment. Because we serve an incredible God, $230,000 was raised online through word of mouth in only 3 weeks time. Read that again...$230 THOUSAND in 21 days...that's over $10,000 per day.

Truly, extravagant love.

Sweeney was quarantined the last week, so we couldn't really 'see' them before they left. Cabell made arrangements for a little surprise for a few of her friends in her absence. We had special instructions to go TOGETHER to her back porch. Because the five of us have 15 children between us, it was decided Saturday morning at 7am would be the easiest time for us to pull off.

Armed with coffee, baseball caps and make-up free faces we met this foggy morning with the bittersweet realization that we were going to our friend's home and she wouldn't be there. While we were enjoying being together, she was several states away gearing up for a life or death fight with her husband against stage IV metastatic melanoma.

We were greeted by a brightly colored note of sweet thanks for our support stuck to her back door. (And yes, we were already teary at this point.) There were instructions to get a cleverly hidden key and go into her dining room. There she had prepared a glorious, festive Christmas table. Each place setting was hand-painted by Cabell, personalized with patterns, designs, initials and names unique to each of us. And there was another note...telling us where each of our 9 other place settings were boxed up.

My first thought was: "Seriously? This is too much!" I thought of the countless hours it must have taken her to prepare this. The hours she spent painting, firing, packing, preparing. How many weeks must she have been secretly conspiring to blow us away with this gift?

And then I thought of what I know to be true of my friend. She LOVES creating, giving, surprising. No one forced her to do this. Her extravagant surprise was because she loves us and WANTED to do it.

It is a trait she got from her Father. He, too, longs to give good gifts to His children. I love that from the moment sin entered our world way back in Genesis, He was at work with His Plan to restore us through the gift of His Son.What joy He must have had as He thought through the logistics...a young, unknown girl...a simple carpenter...a stable...a star. They'll never expect this.I am about to blow them away.

Extravagant love. Undeserved, unexpected, lavishness from a heart full of love.

I tend to be much more practical. Just the word 'extravagant' makes my chest tighten a little. Then I think about the way Jesus reacted to the extravagance of Mary of Bethany. I think of the extravagance of His Grace.

I am still trying to understand what this looks like in 'real life.' But walking through this difficult season with close friends has taught me a lot. The one thing that seems most needed in this situation is absolutely out of my hands. I cannot cure my friend's illness. All I can do is love them with the love of God through the process. I am helpless. God is not.

After we squealed and oohed and ahhed we talked about all the ideas we had for loving them back. Then we started with the best one we could think of--sitting crossed legged in their living room floor begging the Spirit to intercede. We prayed the lavish love of our Father would continue to be poured out on them as they were in Houston and thanked God, in advance, for the way they would impact the doctors, nurses and patients they would encounter.

Lord, may it not take such difficult, heart-wrenching circumstances for me to be one who loves others extravagantly!

"Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other." John 13:34-35(MSG)

Sinners and Saints

2009-11-12T21:07:00.006-05:00

This afternoon, K, asked if she could send "all her paper money" in the Operation Christmas Child shoe boxes. She said, "I just thought of it in my heart because they do not have any money and I do."

This is the same child that was reprimanded yesterday for repeatedly interrupting and upstaging her classroom's birthday girl during her celebration.

Part saint, part sinner.

R's story is similar. The same dimpled little guy that pledges his undying devotion and love to his Mommy, showering me with affection when in the mood, ignores me, growls at me and stomps his feet with defiance and disrespect when things aren't going his way.

And P? He prays for the people inside every ambulance that drives by, for "families and even people who don't have families" yet he is also frequently sneaky, destructive and emotionally manipulative.

It is the inconsistency that befuddles me. These little bodies that live under my roof are walking mixtures of sinner and saint. And the two big bodies that live under my roof? We are too. There is no good in us apart from God. Left unto ourselves we will always choose the path that ultimately serves ourselves. Only through the work of God in our hearts and lives are we able to show grace, love, compassion, forgiveness, selflessness.

Yesterday's post was all about the stuff that I felt I needed to 'fix' in my children. Tonight my perspective is different. Tonight I marvel at the work God is already doing in their young hearts. They haven't yet accepted Him for themselves, but I get glimpses of how they are being brought nearer to Him.

It is my responsibility to train them up--to guide, direct and impart the Truth of God-- but the 'fixing' is not my job. Hearts, afterall, cannot get piecemeal bandaids. Hearts need radical change and renewal. Mommies are in the bandaid business, but God...He has much grander abilities than that.

A beautiful unfolding indeed.

Balance?

2009-11-12T20:50:00.006-05:00

"When we are referring to God, balance is a huge mistake. God is not just one thing we add to the mix called life. He wants an invitation from us to permeate everything and every part of us."
Francis Chan, Forgotten God

Happy Lightning

2009-11-11T20:24:00.002-05:00

This afternoon when I picked the children up from school I was greeted by their teachers--informing me that ALL THREE had "had a rough day" of not listening and obeying. Their sins were not hurtful, per se, just disrespectful. It was a bitter pill for me that all of them, in seperate classes, were acting out enough for their teachers to comment, on the same day. They went to bed on time and did not have sugar for breakfast. Am I doing something else wrong?

My children are bright, happy and vivacious. I am finding that this is a blessing...and a problem. They wake up at 6am every morning to a play date. What five year old wouldn't want to have non-stop play with their best friends? The trouble is, increasingly, that they are a force with which to be reckoned. Not so much because they are naughty...as because they are silly, noisy, energetic...and outnumber me three to one.

I am praying about how to give them constructive outlets for their energy,
limits on their hyperactivity in public,
respect for those who are in positions of authority.

I want them to be the joyful little creatures God made them to be...within limits that are for their good, not an attempt to break their spirit.

God give me grace, wisdom and patience to love my little lightning bolts with the appropriate balance of embracing who they are and who you are growing them to be.

One Day...

2009-11-10T21:34:00.003-05:00

Yesterday afternoon while the children were enjoying an afterschool snack at our kitchen island, I was reading comments on the blog. They were chatting and giggling, so I didn't think they were paying much attention to me.

Then P asked me, "Why do you always put pictures and words about us on your computer, Mommy?"

I had never really thought about that moment before. I mean, of course it was going to happen. I never planned to keep blogging a secret from the kids. I am always careful to protect their dignity in the things I write and remember that they will one day be able to read it all. But, like most things in life, the moment itself snuck up on me and caught me a bit off guard.

"Well, buddy. You know how you guys like to hear stories about when I was a little girl? I have a hard time remembering many of them, so I am writing your stories down as they happen, so I won't forget. Come with me. I want to show you something."

As the kids dismounted their kitchen stools, I led them to the shelf in the study where I keep the hardbound copies of the blog. They were wide eyed in anticipation.

"I think you are big enough to try this now. Here are all the stories I have written about your adventures so far. One day when you are Mommies and Daddies, you will be able to read these stories to your kids."

For the next half hour they read through various volumes with laughter and smiles of pride at how much bigger they are now. Today after school they returned right back to the study and wanted to hear some of the same stories again,while exploring ones we had not gotten to yesterday.

It is a little strange that they have now crossed over to 'blog reader,' but such a precious blessing to see them beginning to unwrap the gift I hope my blog is to them one day. I always hoped they would 'one day' cherish these posts. It is so bizarre that one day is today.

Crashing

2009-11-09T19:37:00.008-05:00

I had K & P home with me today due to tummy aches. Thankfully, by this afternoon it appeared that we had been spared a stomach bug and were able to enjoy a little fresh air.

My children have 'rediscovered' their bikes and K is currently practicing her balance without training wheels or pedals. She has taken to riding up and down our driveway with her legs outstretched as she works on her balance, challenging herself to go farther and farther each time. Obviously, this lends itself to a few good spills here and there.

This afternoon after a particularly hard fall, I dashed over to check on her. I could tell she was swallowing back tears as she said, "I don't want to crwy, but my knee rweally hurts. I had on my helmet and long pants, why did I still crash?"

"Oh, Sweetie, the helmet is not to keep you from crashing. It is to protect you when you do."
I paused and couldn't help but be struck by the reminder. I spoke the warning to her and to myself at the same time.
"You are going to crash. Everybody does."

God's truth came flooding into my heart and mind. Not being pessimistic, just realistic. We crash. Sometimes it is not so bad and sometimes it is complete wipeout. It is a part of the human experience...much like riding a bike. The crashes happen, but you have to get back on your bike and keep riding.

Realizing it was probably more of a lesson than her little 5.5 year old brain could soak up I said it anyway. "K, do you know that Mommy has you wear a helmet and pads so that when the crashes happen you won't be hurt as badly? Well, Mommy & Daddy teach you about God for the same reason. Sometimes as you get bigger you will have other kinds of crashes. Knowing that God loves you always, that he keeps His promises and that He is good will help just like this helmet does."

I stopped short of going into the armor of God. She was staring at me with big, brown eyes. I really think she was listening.

Or maybe God just wanted to remind me of my role as a God fearing Mama. I will never look at a bicycle helmet the same way again.

The Lens

2009-11-08T21:32:00.005-05:00

My friend, Landria, took pictures of our family last weekend in Atlanta. Opening her e-mail Friday night, I felt like a kid at Christmas. I LOVE good photography. I especially love Landria's work because it is all done outdoors with natural light...no tricks with make up and bulbs...just who you are.

It is interesting that much of the world's message is about enhancing, touching up or faking beauty. Yet, her pictures look so fresh and picturesque because of the absence of artificial light.

I think there are some profound parallels between photography and life. My favorite shots are those that seem to capture the essence of a person...that split second,with just the right light that seems to illuminate the individuality of someone. You often have to take a lot of pictures to find just the one.

As we went through the proofs to select which to order, I found myself drawn not to the angelic portraits as much as the ones with expressions that seemed most familiar and 'real.' I am reminded that in my relationships with people, I should spend less time seeking perfection and more time giving grace for the 'bad shots' that caught people in an off moment. I want to be willing to invest in the adventure of looking for the true beauty that is harder to find.
Often it is not so much that the person is beautiful, but the moment or the emotion is...I love this one because it is the exact way they were positioned in utero during my pregnancy. K across the bottom like a hammock, P on my left side, R on my right...and in my favorite ultrasound picture their heads were all together in the center. We did not pose this. Yet, it was the first thing that struck me when I saw the proof.

My final observation is that the real key to photography is using the right lens. How often am I guilty of having the wrong lens (attitude) as I go through my daily life? My only hope is to wake each morning praying that God will equip me with His Spirit, His Eyes, His Heart for this world and the people living in it.

How much more beautiful the world will be if I seek to see it with His Lens and His Light!

Soccer Guys

2009-11-07T20:25:00.009-05:00

We wrapped up our soccer season today. Of course, because of the unseasonable cool and wet weather we have been experiencing, it was the most gorgeous clear day we have had for any of our games.

I could not let the season end without a couple of observations about my boys on the soccer field. R, my ubercomptitive sports-loving son loves to be in the middle of the action on the field.

Do you see the other child clad in a white jersey in the photo above? That's P. He prefers to avoid the action. He likes to comraderie of sports, but not the confrontation or the energy required. Every now and then, in a burst of sudden enthusiasm, he'll get in the mix (even scoring a goal or two here and there).Then he returns to interpretive dancing, picking grass, playing in the goal or staring up at the clouds. (I wish I had taken this picture from farther away. The game was still going strong a few yards from where he decided to rest.)I love these two little guys.They are wired absolutely, completely differently...precious gifts to the world in their own ways.

I cannot wait to see what God has in store for them both.

Shoeboxes

2009-11-06T21:20:00.002-05:00

One of our most enjoyable family traditions is participating in the annual shoebox collection week for Operation Christmas Child. Each year we are touched as we shop for, decorate and pack our boxes. As the children get older, it gets even more fun. This year, I have been serving on our local prayer team...and the children have joined me. It has been so precious to hear them pray daily for 'da kids who will get da shoe boxes for Cwistmas.'

This afternoon we packed our boxes and decided to take a photo to put inside with a note for the receiving child. I was having a hard time getting my three to all look and smile genuinely.
"Ok, kiddos, think about the children who will receive your fun boxes. They'll be so excited and happy. Show me what their faces will look like."

After the dramatic response, I did finally get some genuine smiles. Praying for the last several weeks definitely raised the level of commitment and anticipation in my children. Tonight before dinner P gave our blessing. "De-ya God, tank you for our food and I am so happy we finally got to get these boxes packed for the kids that need them."

If you are looking for a meaningful activity with your children and haven't tried this before, I highly recommend it. Collection week, nationwide, begins in 9 days. You still have plenty of time! This year, Samaritan's Purse is even offering the ability to track your box and find out where it winds up. Meaningful and educational...that's a great combination!

The Best Thing

2009-11-05T09:22:00.001-05:00

There are many things I take for granted far too easily. Having a precious husband is one of them. He is not the rose petals on the bed type...I am fine with that, because that is not my love language. Instead he is strong, steady reliable and true. He listens to me when I talk. He 'gets' me. He understands my crazy independent spirit. He doesn't point out my weaknesses and inadequacies, chosing instead to reinforce my strengths. He bears with the fact that I am a terrible complainer when I have the slightest ailment. He accepts that I hate being late--and that it makes me unnecessarily snappy. He is a busy man, who still manages to make himself available when I need him.

He is a man of his word who loves me in a way I never knew was possible. He makes sure to hug me in front of the children and say, "I sure do love your Mommy." It seems like such a little thing, but I hope it leaves an impression on my children's hearts about how honor and respect look in a marriage. What's that old saying? The best thing a Father can do for his children is love their Mommy.

He doesn't always get my best. I write to say the things I too often forget to speak. I appreciate, respect and adore my husband.

He is not perfect (neither am I), but he is God's perfect gift for me.

It is OK to Be Happy

2009-11-04T20:51:00.005-05:00

Last month I wrote about the conflicting emotions I was having over being in a great place (specifically, a free trip to Disney) while others I knew were suffering. There are people I really love going through some extremely difficult situations right now. Meanwhile, my family is in a good place--and I feel guilty. This morning I read a quote by Beth Moore that shed more light on the subject:

"When God intervenes and we get a chance to know we're blessed and to feel blessed, nothing is more appropriate than seizing the happy moment...One of the hardest challenges about taking advantage of a God-given moment of happiness is the guilt of knowing it coincides with someone else's sadness. No, we don't flaunt our light in someone else's darkness, but surely we can find a way to dip ourselves in the bubble bath of a second's bliss when it comes. Even if all we do is lean our heads back in the sunshine of our soul's Sabbath and take a minute to feel the glad emotion, it is meant by God to be medicine for our weary souls." -from Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman by Beth Moore (page 194)

I love that description...the sunshine of our soul's Sabbath. Maybe it is the fantastic Fall weather we are currently enjoying after weeks of rainy days, but the idea of relishing the sunshine resonates with me.

I also appreciate the reminder that is Ok to be happy. In this world we will have trouble. Frankly, it is the challenge of dark times that makes us appreciate the times of blessing even more. We will all have our seasons of relative ease as well those of struggle. All the more reason to enjoy the periods of rest and rejuvenation in between!

Drop the Phone

2009-11-03T20:22:00.003-05:00

Several weeks ago after watching a sobering video (and subsequently posting it here) about the dangers of texting and driving, I took a radical step as a parent. Because I want to set a good example for my future drivers, I told my children how dangerous it is to use your phone while behind the wheel and then challenged them to hold me accountable for it.

The ground rules were simple: If they saw me texting or dialing/chatting while driving they were to say, "Drop the phone." The first one to do so got $1. I am not convinced of the wisdom of this approach...but I was zealous and convicted. Regardless of the wisdom, it has definitely been effective in curbing my bad habits.

I have had to clarify the rules a few times, as they would shout "DROP THE PNOE!!!" at me when I used the bluetooth enabled speakerphone in the car. They have also yelled at me for using the phone while in the passenger seat or the driveway. I don't suppose I have to point out that exuberant, energetic 5 year olds don't just say it quietly one time....they yell it over and over in unison until the call is disconnected.

There have been important calls I have taken (and paid the fine) but for the most part this little exercise has changed my habits for the better. An interesting byproduct has been less time on the phone when my children are around because, honestly, a speaker phone conversation with a gaggle of 5 years olds in the car is difficult to pull off.

I am truly thankful for the break it has given me from the phone...and the extra time for conversation it has meant for K, P, R & me.

I will stop short of suggesting that you have your children hold you accountable...but it has certainly been a powerful lesson for all of us.

The Word Will Not Return Void

2009-11-02T21:16:00.007-05:00

After school today the children were drawing, cutting and writing in the kitchen. It was a gorgeous day outside, but they were really into their work. P & R were each making books about "gostbstrs."K was cutting pictures out of magazines of all the things she wants for Christmas. (The thinker in me worries that it is breeding consumerism and 'want,' my practical side is thankful that she is practicing her cutting, reading and sorting.)

A few minutes later she brought me a workbook she was drawing in and asked me to help her with a page. The exercise was to make a list of ten things you are grateful for. She wrote God first and then beamed at me. Then she wrote Jesus. I know I should have been touched, but there is a little too much cynic in me to ever leave well enough alone. K is quite the pleaser. Does she mean this, or does just want me to praise her?

"Why are you thankful for God and Jesus, K?"

She looked me squarely in the eye and said, "Because God made everything, then he sent Jesus to die on the cross so I can be washed clean from my sins."

I was shocked at the accuracy of her response. I worry sometimes that my kids are simply parrotting what they have been taught. Will they feel brainwashed? At what age can I start to tell if they embrace it for their own? As their mother, I am following a Biblical mandate to tell my children about God's Word.

Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy 11:18-19 (NIV)

I am reminded of something a pastor friend of ours says, "Do you know what you can do to insure the salvation of your children?" he asks. As every well-meaning Christian parent leans forward intently he answers his own question. "Absolutely nothing."

Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing. Ephesians 2:7-10 (The Message)

It is staggering, sobering and a relief all at the same time. We obey the call He has on our lives to love and serve and glorify Him--whether it be with our children, extended family, neighbors, coworkers, enemies...We bear witness to the truth of His grace, love and mercy.

Taking that truth and attaching it to hearts (big and small) is His job. How precious it is to see!

Home Work

2009-11-01T20:21:00.007-05:00

We had a wonderful weekend, capped off by a glorious Fall Sunday. Today we made a day trip to Atlanta and enjoyed a timely sermon on an old familiar passage.

Colossians 3:23-24 (New Living Translation)
Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.

I was challenged afresh as a wife, mom and homemaker to do my job with pride and excellence. It is a blessing to my family, a great example for my children and an act of love towards my husband...but it is ultimately an act of worship.

I chose to use the New Living Translation for this post because I loved that instead of the word 'heartily' it used the word 'willingly.' I believe firmly in "blooming where you are planted" and serving God in the place He has you...but isn't it true that we sometimes take for granted that where we are is a gift, sovereignly ordained, having passed through the very hands of our maker in heaven?

I am praying God will help me maintain this perspective tomorrow as little people appear at my bedside much too early, hungry for breakfast. This day, this moment, this place is my holy assignment. I am working for God.

As I prepare lunches, gather readers and napmats and hustle everyone out the door I pray I will remember who my supervisor is...and that His desire is not just for me to mark tasks off the list, but for my life to exude fruit of the Spirit like love, joy, peace, kindness and self control.

Once the children are in school I pray I may deal with my chores, errands and volunteer roles in the same way. May my master be pleased at the work I am doing and the testimony it is for Him in the way that it is done.

Suddenly being a housewife feels less mundane and like much more of a holy calling.

Trick Or Treat

2009-10-31T19:40:00.005-04:00

Happy Halloween from Tinkerbell, Peter Pan and the Tick Tock Crock. It was a consistently rainy day here today, but we enjoyed an indoor Fall festival, a visit from both sets of grandparents and a neighborhood party before trick or treating. Earlier R said, "I know what Easter, Christmas and Thanksgiving are for, Mom, but I think God just made Halloween to be a holiday so kids could have FUN!" Midway through our 8 house adventure P exclaimed, "I just LOVE to Trick or Treat, Mama!"
Rain or no rain it was a very fun day.

Now I just hope we have enough costumed children come to our door tonight that I can give away some of their spoils. (Don't worry. I have already eaten all the Reese's, the dark chocolate and the 3 Musketeers.) :-)