I have read the books. I embrace the need for consistency. I give him independence and choices. I do not tolerate fits, angry outbursts or demands. And, yet, he still behaves like the strong-willed, very smart, verbal and testosterone-laden 'little man' that he is. Go figure.
Yesterday, I managed to capture a snapshot for posterity that sums up my R's rebelliousness at this age. (Forgive the poor quality. It was taken on my cell phone.)
He was not in Time Out. He actually sat there himself to 'decide' whether he was going to get in the car with me or have me call a baby sitter while the rest of the family went to dinner."I am just not WEADY to decide yet! Hmmph!"
Grant me patience, Lord.
17 comments:
I have one!!! And I have to ask God every single day for patience. Just today he screamed all the way home that he wanted candy, which I would not stop and get, and it continued into his room with his door shut until he calmed down. God HAS to help me because I have no clue half the time of what to do. I feel ya!
Sweet picture!
I have a 2 1/2 year old who does stuff like that. She's also very verbal, so I really understand what she's saying. I actually called Focus on the Family to get some advice about what to do with her. They have a free number to call to get help from a counselor. Their advice didn't work, but it at least let me know that some kids are like her. Thanks for your post. One day, she'll probably be sitting on the step trying to decide the same thing.
Did you happen to read any books worth sharing? :)
Also, it really is a cute pic....
I am so seeing the visual of the little boy in Dr. Dobson's book about raising strong willed children where the young boy says, "I may be sitting down on the outside, but I'm standing up on the inside." (or something close to that)
Bless his heart, I feel the same way so many times a day. He is in good company though, Romans 7 is written for just such moments. Praying for you.
As recently last week, Brian said to me (in relation to our very dramatic and whiny girly girl), "You know, before I was a parent, I thought as long as you were firm and consistent and didn't give in to the whining and drama, they (kids) would give it up once they realized it didn't 'work' and that they NEVER got what they wanted as a result of it. But CLEARLY, nine years later, I was dead wrong!!" I think you are doing a great job of embracing him for who he is while still maintaining your family expectations and (hopefully) your sanity. I know you are seeing this to be true in your little guy as well already, but with Maggie I have come to see the "drama" that frustrates me so much on so many days is also so closely tied to her greatest strengths and talents. Some day, we are going to sit back and laugh at this, right? Parenting is absolutely exhausting!!!
I ADORE this picture. I had one of those years ago. She is grown now and precious to the core!
"Hmmmph" must be the universal word of the strong willed little man...We have been heard saying many times "Do NOT hmmmph me". Oh the things we say as parents:)
Love you, friend, and that precious strong willed little man!
Love-
Suzanne
someone mentioned books worth recommending...i just finished "Parenting by the Book" by John Rosemond. It was life-changing, seriously! It presents a very straightforward, Biblical, way to parent your children.
Rosemond simply points out the scripture that God gives us which gives us clear directions on how to discipline our children. I have a two and one year old, and I feel incredibly confident and comforted by this book!
Love your blog, btw; I "blog stalk" it almost daily :-) I found it on "All Other Ground Is Sinking Ground," one day when my friend had a link to your post on it. You must know her, I think... :-) I LOVE reading your blog; you write amazing posts and inspire me!
Cheers!
My daughter was like this. Except instead of sitting and thinking, she'd start jumping. Oh my! When we saw her start to jump, it was like slow motion as we'd try to get to her and remove her from the situation. "Sheeeeeeee's juuuuuuuumping!" At sixteen, she's still moody (go figure) but as someone mentioned above, her stubborness and independence have turned into positive qualities. She's a leader. She sticks with a project until it's just the way she imagined. And interestingly, she is called the peacemaker in her circle of friends.
Books are great (and I love Rosemond and Dobson) but follow your instincts with him. You're obviously very purposeful and are doing a great job.
And remember, these qualities that are difficult right now will serve him in amazing ways when he is older.
P.S. I had a Dobson book out the other day and my son (18) actually asked if he could read it when I was done. I wonder if he was going to see if we'd done anything right.....
It probably wasn't funny at the time, but it's making me chuckle now:0) Your blog is such an encouragement to me - you're a great mama! Thanks for your example to ladies like myself that are a life stage or two behind you!
oh, I am soooo there with with our youngest....except I am strong-willed too, which leads to a major clash in personalities and a lot of repentance on my part for not handling it so well. God sweetly brought 2 Tim. 2:25 to mind today after a similar incident we had yesterday. Who knew parenting would be this hard?!
Thanks for vising and your sweet comment. Please say a little prayer for our R we go on Monday for tubes. Love this post, I can see my future with JW might be a little like what you are dealing with. My only question is what did he finally decide?!
Every time you describe him I think of my own "little man." Y'all are a few years ahead, so I benefit from your experiences. I often find my prayers beginning with the cry for patience. Ahhhh, motherhood!
I wore out a copy of Dobson's The STrong Willed Child!! I can totally identify with you. But my strong willed child is now 31 and a great young man! So just hang in there...
I am so feeling your "pain" :)
We have one too and I was so hoping it would be done with by the age of 5. I guess not! The picture is priceless!!
He sounds so much like my Wilson - very strong-willed and determined no matter what I do, yet still so tenderhearted and compassionate. Another thing, I am at the beach right now with my SIL, Ellen Patton, I think you may know her from college - she married Stan Turnipseed. I have been following your blog for a while now and I was just telling her about you - we have a friend who is in the hospital at UAB with a serious heart condition, may now be gettting a transplant - she has a 6 day old that she has never met. Her name is Gianna Guthrie. Anyways, I was telling Ellen about your birth story and she said she new you at Alabama. We both still live in Tuscaloosa and are best friends, not just sisters. Thanks again for sharing your heart each day and your love for Jesus.
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