For various reasons I have missed the last two weeks of Bible Study with my Monday Night Girls. Even with all of their DRAMA, I really miss them.
Tonight I was talking to the woman who runs the home and she was giving me an update on one of the girls I worry most about. As she described her current emotional turmoil--which is teen angst clearly exacerbated by abandonment issues--I was reminded of my own days of dating and boys. Specifically,I was thinking about a young woman's propensity to long for the affections of those who are the most careless with our hearts. Haven't most of us been there? Pining away, jumping through hoops, allowing ourselves to be jerked around on a chain...all for the affections of someone who likely doesn't notice, and almost certainly does not respect and value our hearts.
I want to help these girls learn to guard their hearts. They have already experienced so much pain. I want to spare them more. I don't want them to have a cynical view of love. I want them to experience true, real, unconditional love...from their Heavenly Father first and then, ultimately, from a godly man.
I want the same thing for K. Oh, K.... A cold chill ran down my spine and my chest got tight thinking of how to help my daughter learn to guard her heart at an early age. How can I spare her some of the pain I have experienced?
And my sons...how can I train them up to always respect the affections of the young ladies who will be tossing them their way. How do I teach them to guard their hearts, but also be responsible with the unguarded hearts of the young women who will one day be in their life?
To some it may seem silly to worry about all this now. They are only five...and yet I know that a strong foundation, consistently laid over time is important. I also know that God can redeem anything. He is the Author and Finisher of their lives and their faiths. I certainly don't wish wounds for them, but I realize they are inevitable...and that God, who sometimes makes things crooked, will use all the occurrences of their lives for His Glory and the fulfillment of His purposes for them.
So, I pray. I pray that He will give me wisdom as I pour into these young lives, patience through the inevitable twists and turns to come and unwavering trust that He who started a good work will be faithful to complete it.
8 comments:
No, not silly at all! I have been praying the same things since the boys were born. I think it is very wise. God bless you and yours always!
One thing I always come back to is Genesis 3:16, God's "curse" for the woman. I forget who originally pointed this out to me, but I know the inspiration for it was straight from God. By cursing the woman to "have a desire always for her husband," he basically cursed her with a longing. By doing so, he planted within her the seed to search and search and strive and - inevitably, fail - until she finally found her way back face to face with HIM, the one true God - the ONLY one Who can satisfy that longing that HE created within her.
It's not comforting at all to think that E could choose the teenage life that I once lived, but ultimately, I have to say that WHATEVER it takes, I want her to find God and by fully captivated by Him Alone. For me, I am absolutely certain that no one other than Jesus Himself can fulfill my desires, because believe me - I tried!!
I echo your heart and your prayers each and every night for my little one!! Hoping that the man that my E will one day ultimately entrust her heart to will have a praying mama like you...which, speaking of that...3 1/2 years really isn't all that far apart...we could certainly work something out... :)
In our experience, this has been more of a challenge as we raise our daughter - guarding her heart against abandonment and disappointment - because girls seem to get it from both sides. They get it from their "friends" who are girls and they get it from young love as they start becoming interested in boys.
Many times my daughter's heart has been broken by other girls and many times I have encouraged her to forgive and simply look at the other girl and love her. It is so much easier to put a band-aid on a skinned knee than to hold your daughter while her heart is breaking.
With boys, in our experience, it has been lots of reminders that this is somebody's sister, somebody'sdaughter, SOMEBODY'S precious creation. When all the other boys are popping bra straps and being crude he, as a young Christian male, is supposed to be different. He is supposed imagine the tears that will be shed when these girls get home to their mothers.
Please keep encouraging your sons as well as your daughter. I fear it is rare in our society to challenge our sons to remain pure of heart, body, and spirit.
Great post.
I was taught to pray in advance of the attack...and you know when you try to raise your kids in a Godly way, Satan will attack them. I think it's wise to pray for their future, in all ways. I do the same for G. I'm already praying for a Godly wife and children for him. Also for generational curses to cease before they touch his life.
Thanks again for the posts...you'll never know how much they mean to me!
one thing a girl i meet with (she's my age (28) but married and with a 2 year old daughter) told me is the best way to guard my heart is to control my daydreams. if that wasn't absolutely right on! I have always hated the term "guard your heart" because it was translated to me as to mean "don't hang out with boys, don't even think for one second they could be into you until they tell you they are, etc" all good things, but damaging to a girls heart as well. so as I've started guarding my daydreams its been SO much easier to not throw my heart to those not meant to care for it.
I, too, already think about these things, and my daughter is only 17 months old. I think my focus has changed from wanting to spare her the hurt I felt to wanting to give her a solid foundation first. I didn't have that, and I know I would have been spared the hurt if I had. I also see how the Lord worked through my dispair and how that pain shaped the woman I am today. It's so hard because I want to prevent all hurt and suffering in my daughter, and yet I know it is impossible. And it even might be necessary for her.
As for boys, we don't have any boys yet (I'm pregnant now, so maybe soon), but my husband heard the greatest message that will stick with me always. He got his Masters from Dallas Theological Seminary. One of his professors advised fathers of boys to teach them to treat their girlfriends like they want their future wives to be treated. They are to respect her as the future wife to someone down the road. That was so powerful to both of us and will definitely be passed down to our sons (if we're ever blessed with boys).
It's so true, the foundations starts now. They have to learn to respect the ladies in their life now, sister & mom, so it will be a habit later in life. They don't just wake up at 16 and realize they need to respect a lady!
I work at lunch time at my kids school. You can see the children that aren't taught manners & you can see the kids that are taught manners.
It starts at home and it starts when they are tiny!
As a veteran mom...If I have one regret about my younger years is that I did not pray enough for my children and their futures. So keep Praying!
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