When the babies were five months old, we moved back downstairs to our real bed. As first time parents we were under the naive (crazy) assumption that 'sleeping through the night' meant we would in fact be sleeping through the night. Needless to say, I got a lot of exercise going up and down those stairs for 2 1/2 years.
When we moved into our current home, we adjusted to having the master upstairs with the children. Too bad, I thought, that now that I won't need to get up in the night everyone is only footsteps away. What was I thinking?
While it is certainly better than it used to be, I am still up almost every night. The reasons range from bad coughs, bad dreams, wet beds, sleep talking, fear of the dark, lost lovies and occasionally even falling out of bed.
For various reasons, we have a strict rule about no children in our bed until 6am. Because of my husband's job, our phone rings, his pager beeps and he is in and out of the bed at odd hours. Call nights have been known to involve 12-13 phone calls between 10pm and 6 am. Our bed is clearly not the best location for uninterrupted sleep. Additionally, even with a king sized bed, we cannot accommodate 5 people very well--so while we love morning cuddles, it just makes sense to encourage sleep to happen other places for our children.
And so, I am up and down responding to my name and/or escorting little people back to their rooms much more often than I would like--and I am not very kind when I have been awakened from a deep sleep. I was talking to a couple of other mothers (each with three children of their own) about this and the concensus was that we are all less than our best in those late night/early morning hours. If ever I wonder if man is truly sinful in nature, I just think about my fleshly response in the middle of the night: Grouchy, aggravated, snippy, selfish and tired. A far cry from the fruit of the Spirit...
I have to confess that in my exhausted stupor at 2am yesterday, I missed K's mouth and inadvertently sprayed Cloraseptic in her eye. Not my best Mommy moment by a long shot. So, I am curious, is it just us? Are there others of you that manage to pull it together in the middle of the night? Is it possible?
I am also wondering how old my children will be when I will be able to get uninterrupted sleep at night on a consistent basis...
21 comments:
Hi! I'm the one that emailed you a couple of weeks ago about he children devotions. My oldest is about 6 months younger than your trio. We had to have tubes put in her ears in June and up until that point I didn't get a whole night's sleep at ALL! A few weeks after that, she started sleeping all night. My youngest is 2 1/2 and she has slept all night for a long time. We are actually going through strep throat with both of them now and neither of them are sleeping through the night. When they are sick, I try not to be snappy. But my oldest is a whiner, especially in the middle of the night. So, unfortunately, I tend to be that way too!
Jessica
About a month ago my daughter had a horrible virus that had the bonus of middle of the night vomiting. I heard her. I leaped out of bed and ran for her. I couldn't find her. She was under the covers in front of me. Hubs just stood and laughed.
No, it isn't just you. I have only one and it happens to me, too.
Oh my gosh no it isn't just you! My twins are only 2.5 but middle of the night waking is just not fun. I would think it has to be harder when the kids are older and you "expect" them to sleep all night. I still have them in cribs and plan to keep them there as long as I possibly can so I think that helps on them staying in bed even if they happen to wake for other reasons. I have heard their little musical toys go off in the middle of the night as they soothe themselves back to sleep. The one thing I keep in mind when they do wake in the middle of the night that helps me not be so grouchy is that they are usually sick or not feeling well. I just ask myself if I was the one in their spot how would I like to be comforted and try doing just that. May not always work but does help me to get in a better mood.
I am the same! I have had to apologize often for growling ferociously at my daughters in the middle of the night because I was awaken by one of them.
The awful thing is I don't realize how bad it is until they start to cry or they say I hurt their feelings. I hate it when I do that. I have tried to be more aware of how I sound when I talk to them in the middle of the night.
Thank you for being willing to share!! I love your blog.
It is not just you. I was thinking about this very same thing the other morning as I was feeling guilty about my snippiness the previous night before when my three year old came into our room for the 3rd time. I have a 22 month old as well, and he also wakes up every few nights for no apparent reason.
I'd like to know who has it together at night....and how they got there.
Amy@balmingilead.typepad.com
Lately "bad dreams" have had Zach (almost 6) up nearly every night. My younger son (3) is also up almost every night, so I haven't slept well since midway through my first pregnancy. I'm tired. I thought Zach was making up his "bad dreams" just so he could get out of bed, so I told both boys they were going to start being spanked if they got out of bed in the night. That night, I awoke to Zach SOBBING beside my bed, TREMBLING. He'd had a bad dream and then just laid there for fear of being spanked. I did not spank him; I held him. So, you see -- I'm even a bit crabby during regular waking hours, just anticipating the interrupted sleep. My mother-in-law once told me that I'd sleep again once the boys were grown and married -- settled and relatively safe.
I hear there are a few 'glory years' from the ages of 7ish-12ish and then when Teens hit you go through it all again until they are out of the house :) Here Here To All Mommies!
One reason I think my girls had me up every night is because it was convenient. In our other home, the master was on the second floor with their bedrooms. My oldest (6 at the time) had NEVER missed a night of coming into my room only for me to put her back in her bed. I was NOT my best and very short-tempered. When we moved into our new home, the master is on the main floor. My girls were 'miraculously' brave all of a sudden and have not asked for me in the middle of the night unless they are ill (we've lived her over a year!). It's been great :)
No, it's not just the two of you. I, too, am often racked with guilt when I climb back into bed after being snappy with a child who has awakened me. (Mine are 5, 3 and 1, so about 80% of my nights are interrupted at least once.)
My 5year old suffers from abdominal migraines that hit her in the middle of the night -- this means she has the nausea and vomiting of a migraine headache without the headache. We spend about two hours back and forth between the recliner and the bathroom, and while I feel so awful for her, I'm often ashamed at how little compassion I'm often able to show, due to being frustrated at the circumstances.
And the Cloraseptic in K's eye? You poor things! I can't imagine which one of you hated that moment more!
I shouldn't laugh, but the Cloraseptic in her eye is so funny! I can totally see myself doing that! We are sleeping ok these days, but I have learned that if I put a pillow over my head and turn the noise machine really high, I don't hear anything! haha
Thank you for your prayers for our area today! I am enjoying that book too when I can get my hands on it. I need the focus in my prayer life.
BTW, last week (on a particularly hard day with Jim) I glanced wayyy back on your blog to when your kids were 2 1/2 to 3. It was like God speaking directly to my heart in two or three entries. Who knew words written a few years ago could still be used!!!! Talk to ya soon!
No, it is not just you. Wiith the twins (now 3) I have tried my very best to give a paci backwards and I also have put diaper cream on my toothbrush instead of toothpaste (before daylight) while getting ready for the day.
John has night terrors and it takes both me and my hubby to get him awake and settled back down for the night. Mason is a great sleeper.
I have gotten better about my grumpiness over the last few months, but I am human and still have my moments!
Here's to us all! ;)
I'm not exactly sure how we ended up with such great sleepers. I do know that we kept them in their cribs until they were 3 and then separated them into their own rooms and big kid beds. Their rooms are just across the hall from each other and ours is on the opposite end of the house. We made a really big deal about having their own rooms and beds, and once they are in bed, 99% of the time they stay there. If one of them gets up then I know they are really sick. They must take after their mother who could win a medal in sleeping if it was a sport!
No, you're not alone. My 4 and 6 six year old actually slept better when they were babies - 12 hours of uninterupted bliss (unless they were sick). Now it's a bad dream several times a week, a storm, or for my daughter bad allergy coughs that keep her up. Thankfully I can sometimes comfort the kids into sleeping in the same room with each other, but it still woke me up. Kids are upstairs and we down and don't ususally allow them in our bed. But I have to confess lately, I've gotten lazy about sending kids back upstairs and sometimes keep a pillow and blanket on the floor in our room for them to use if they get scared and they don't even have to wake us up. I never know who I'll awaken to find the next morning.
Oh, I feel your pain. Mine boys are 2 and 4 and my daughter is 2 months. Since she has been born we have had 2 nights of uninterupted sleep. The boys are the chief offenders coming in at all times either sneaking into our beds or crying at the bedside. They share a room so it is hard to not to rush in their either for fear the noise will wake the other.
Several times this week we have been awakened by a sick child. It is hard to function in the middle of the night. I had a friend who accidentally squirted Afrin in her son's nose instead of saline (her husband accidentally put it in with the baby medicine and she grabbed the wrong one.)
I am with you, though and am ready for uninterupted sleep.
I told J years ago, I will not nor cannot be held responsible for ANYTHING I say or do in the middle of the night. Sweet AC is in her 2nd week of "sleeping" through the night. (well 10-5:30) I think that's through the night enough. I crash once she does, and just pray I don't hear her until 5. Anyway, you are not alone in this, someone is always up at our house. Little M. E. has night terrors and sometimes cannot be woken up from them. . usually once a week. . and it is usually around midnight! That's just once we have gotten to sleep. I noticed lots of other mommies have the same experiences. I just wish God understood a little more that we are tired all day and NEED at least 5-6 hrs. uninterrupted. Praying you get a good night's sleep tonight.
P. S. Big T is getting up to take the ACT in the morning, I already told her, I ain't getting up to see you off, so good luck!
w
My mom, a mother of 22 kids, says, "About the time they start sleeping through the night, you have to worry about if they are coming home at night". So far, I think she's right!
And I, like you, am far from the fruit of the Spirit any time I am awoken.
I am not a very patient mommy in the middle of the night either...Infact most of the time the kids go to dad because he is up until the wee hours doing school in a "QUIET" house. We never let the kids sleep with us either.
Oh man, I know what you mean! I think each child is different. My 6 yr old daughter will wet the bed, get up, change her clothes, put something on the bed and go back to sleep all without waking me at all. When I find out the next morning it actually makes me feel sad that she didn't wake me! Amazing(us mommies) how we can want them to be more independent, but when it happens we don't really like it!
My oldest, M,...another story. SHE is the one more likely to need to re-tucking in, 1 more sip of water (you know that whole routine). About the time she didn't do this quite as much, is about the time she had her 1st nocturnal seizure. Now I have a baby monitor in her room and I sleep with one ear on alert to any strange noises in her room. I wake up and go in there once or twice a night just because I thought I heard something.
I'm with ya! I'm sleepy and grouchy in the night! But, I know I'll miss all this one day too! I just hope that God will filter out all the crankiness I show to my kids at night. Hope they won't remember HOW I acted, but instead that I ACTED.
Jen, My kids are in their 20s and 30s and I think the premiddle school years are the time God blesses you with sleep. Once they get old enough to be on the phone constantly(now kids have cells and talk and text throughout the night!!) you must be vigilant. I have a friend who locked up the cellphones at bedtime and returned them at bfast.lol..Then the teen yrs and all that teen angst..not much sleep. And now that mine are grown up I am still awake some nights worrying about them. Be kind to yourself...no one is perfect. As to the Chloroseptic incident, I remember my grandmother bathing me with mouthwash one time when I had a fever and she thought she had the alcohol. ;)
I only have an almost 5 month old but I usually have to take a deep breath and pray before I enter her room anytime after 9pm at night....I love my sleep!
Our big girl (almost 5) has been sleeping well for a very long time. Our 7-week old is giving me a run for my money, not so much crying at night, just so very alert and ready to explore the world! I vividly remember when Big Sister was in that 6mo-18mo range and the night waking made me insane. I could hear myself angrily speaking (loudly?!) to her, and thinking to myself, "She's just a baby" but unable to stop myself. I don't know why sleep deprivation makes you feel so crazy, but it does. There is a reason they torture people this way. So, the short ansewr, no, it's *not* just you! :)
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