I am still trying to give myself permission to not complete my to do list--and to realize this chapter of my life is very difficult to live from a list anyway! Lately I have been feeling frustrated with myself because I seem to have a problem with finishing what I start. In terms of full disclosure, this is my current list of open-ended items on my To Do list.
- I pledged to read the Bible from start to finish after Deeper Still. I found a great in-a-year schedule online, started July 15th and am stuck around August 12th.
- I fell off the gym wagon the week before vacation and am having a hard time getting back in the groove.
- When the kids started school I decided I was going to start cooking more. I guess I have sort of kept this one...since more than never just means rarely. I made spaghetti tonight, so I am making a little progress here, but nothing like I expected.
- Don't even get me started on the stack of unread books...
- And my Excel master To Do list I made for all the 'free time' once the kids went back to school? Well, there are still 25 items on there.
I really want to have a good work ethic for my witness, for my children and for my own character. Generally, I enjoy being productive, but each evening after I put the children to bed, I am simply spent. I just cannot seem to muster the energy required to keep ticking things off the list. So, I come to my comfy spot on the sofa with my hot tea and my laptop, recap the day on the blog, do a little reading and rest. Why do we feel so guilty about rest anyway? According to the Bible it is a blessing.
"In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for He grants sleep to those he loves." Psalm 127:2
Besides, the list will still be here tomorrow.
18 comments:
I feel you sister! This is the story of my life these days. Most days I am trying to do so much, I don't know if anything is getting my 100%.
Amen to everything you said!!! Rest is so important and it's biblical! (:
I loved that in day 5 of the homework! It made me happy because I love my rest so much...and always feel as if I should be busy...but it's all in vain if He's not in it, right?! :)
hope you get back into a routine...it takes me a while after vacation...every time!
Your "GIFT" to put everyday happenings into biblical terms on your blog overshadows your under achieved "To-Do" list. You are a blessing to each reader.
You have 4 year olds...not just one, but 3 so I think you deserve to cut yourself some slack and just rest a little more. I only have one 4 year old and I'm wasted at the end of the day....How do you do it??
I totally agree with Tommy above, your writing is a gift and encouragement to those of us reading! I am RIGHT there with you on the never-ending "to do" list ( a list I'm too exhausted to read, much less complete). I am challenged to remember that this time with our children is fleeting and the stuff on my list, as you said, will be there tomorrow.
I'm also going to agree with Tommy. Couldn't have said it better myself.
I'm sure when the children are home from school your attention is completely focused on them. That's exhausting and I feel the same way each night when I put my kids to bed. I have the best intentions, but I usually end up on the sofa or in bed early. Otherwise, I don't know how I would face the next day!
NO BEATING YOURSELF UP!!!!
I think of these times as.....
"For such a time as this".
It's not that you're a failure, it's a season of too much right now.
Take it easy and do what needs doing the most. God knows what we need just when we need it. So putting the pressure to be perfect just doesn't cut it, especially in the mom world!
Live at peace.....sister!
I so hear you, as a mother of 3 also, ages 1,3,5, it is hard to stop worrying about the to-do list. I was also at Deeper still and came away with a huge desire to get back to the Word. My husband is a part of a Bible Study group that is reading through the Bible and he loves when I keep up... when I keep up. You know what I started a while back is if I miss some days, I just start back to the right day, then I feel great that I got it done and not behind, maybe next year I'll catch more days. Ah, grace. I know our Father delights for us to be in His presence and I love to be there. He is not looking for us weeks ago, He is glad when we come today. I hope you have a great day today.
Rest is a good thing, I noticed when my kids were little and under foot I accomplished more than I did when they went to school!! Now my kids are grown and I am back to accomplishing much much more because sadly they don't need me as much. My boy is a senior this year, I told him I was sad he is grown up now and he told me the other day that he still wants me to cook LOL He will never be too old for that lol. I am still in shock that he has grown to be 6'4 and wears a size 16 1/2 shoe!! He was always such a tiny little thing, it is hallarious!!
Could you tell me where you go for the on-line devotion in a year? I have looked for something similar and no luck. Thanks!
Don't waste this precious time in your life worrying about a to-do list. Truly our lives here are just a breath. In only 700 days (give or take a few) your precious children will be in school and the time, oh the time you will have from 8 - 3 (insert your local school schedule.) The time you will be Mom to preschoolers is quickly coming to an end. There is so much more freedom as they grow, but nothing can replace the feeling of being needed that you experience now. I am now able to quickly tackle the to-do list, but long for hours in my sweats with a small child on my lap. Live in the moment!
that's one of my hardest aspects in mothering...i feel like i'm spread too thin in each area, so i'm not really excelling in anything!
i've recently begun to be in bed by 11 each night, and that's really helped.
Amen to Samantha!
Also - check the linke below for my solution to the cooking obstacle. Maybe you have a friend or a neighbor you can team up with for your own Supper Club.
http://kirkkrew.blogspot.com/2008/09/supper-club.html
I feel like you just described me!
God bless you for your willingness to be transparent. I thought I was the only one that lost efficiency and productivity after child birth!
God keeps reminding me that this is just a season-and not a bad one at that...I sometimes wonder if He also wants me to learn to let Him be more in control than me. Isn't that what productivity can sometimes become?
Be blessed!
I think making friends with your crockpot (or getting one) would be a huge help. See crockpot365.blogspot.com --she's testing recipes all year, in a variety of crockpot sizes. Your kids are too young to cook, but they could help... esp. with a crockpot. Wings? Meatballs? Taco Dip?
I've made Apple-Cinnamon Crockpot Oatmeal (overnight) for years, and waking up to that scent is divine. It's still my go-to breakfast food. I refrigerate leftovers in individual portions. Grab one the next morning, add a few drops of milk and nuke it.
I found a cute kids breakfast cookbook at the library the kids would enjoy 'helping' with: Puffy Popovers and Other Get-Out-of-Bed Breakfasts (Fauchold).
I've also come across a few great books you might enjoy. I picked them up at the library to see if I like 'em well enough to buy. I'm using the recipes to stock my son & DIL's freezer & pantry when my next grandson arrives in October.
Make-A-Mix (Eliason, et al.)
Don't Panic--Dinner's in the Freezer (Martinez, et al.)
You've got it made : deliciously easy meals (Phillips)
And remember, it's all trial and error in the kitchen; don't be so hard on yourself about it. Once you feel confident, you'll be doing it more often... and saving money!!!
Another breakfast idea my former boss (with twins) used: at night fix cold/dry cereal in a bowl, covered, for each of the kids. In the fridge put individual sippy cups with enough milk for the cereal and let each get used to 'fixing' their own for those time-crunch mornings.
I have to admit, I'd love some "free time"...i don't see much in my future, though. Regarding reading the Bible, 3 friends & I did "Read the Bible in 90 Days" 2 summers ago and it was awesome. It IS intense, but it's divided into 12 pages per day (it is an actual Bible you buy) and I'll tell you what, having been a Christian my whole life, there were things I'd never read. I was horrified, elated, amazed, fascinated all at the same time.
Having people holding me accountable helped, and I summarized each reading in the back notes pages. I highly recommend this way and it is really not as time-consuming as you might think. Just a thought! love your blog.
why do we have to check something off a list to be productive? sigh. I think all mothers fall into this trap. If this were true, then I completely failed my eldest son. His room was a complete disaster all the time. When I helped him pack for college, I sat on his bed and cried knowing that it would be an utter mess there. He left money lying around, and he was rarely in his clasees very long.
Yet, at his funeral he was praised for his love, and compassion. Over 800 people were there to honor a young man at age 18 whose lives he had personally touched with the love of Jesus. He loved unconditionally, yet left many "tasks" undone.
As a mom I was so proud of the man my son became, many times in spite of myself.
It's the LOVE that matters most! Hug those babies tight, my friend.
I could have written your list almost to the letter! And, I too, am spent at the end of the day. And I only have two kiddos!
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