Without going into all the details (out of respect for privacy) I had a conversation Monday with someone about one of my children and a limitation they face. Although in the grand scheme of things it was not that big of a deal, I was very disheartened and sad as a result of this therapist's observation.
I know my children are not perfect. I know they will not excel in everything. At only 4 years old we still face years of development. I want them to have many experiences and discover what they enjoy and where their gifts are hidden. The downside that I had not spent much time pondering is that their weaknesses would also be exposed in this process. And even though discovering our weaknesses is very much a part of the journey, this Mama's heart is tender and cringes at the thought of my children ever feeling bad about themselves. I want them to revel in the plan God has just for them, without wallowing in the plan he did NOT have for their life.
Anyway, I confessed all this to God, my husband and my small group Tuesday morning. God has been incredibly gracious in the loving way He has attended to my heart in the last couple of days. Yesterday I was stuck in a waiting room for over an hour--and the only book I had in my car was something my husband had put there for our trip last week, Raising Kids for True Greatness by Tim Kimmel. I am quite sure my hour long wait was a divine appointment, as I was able to read 60 pages of truth about the difference in being great and mere success.
Then this morning, the icing on the cake. I had a moment alone with the specific child I was worried over. He/she was doing something precious and I was simply watching from the far side of the room with a smile.
He/she looked up at me and said, "Do you know who loves me so much?" (This is a take on something I often say to them in these moments of just enjoying who they are.)
"Yes, I do. Do you?"
"Yes, God and Jesus," came the 4 year old reply.
"That's right. And do you know God loves you just the way you are. He made every little thing about you while you were in my womb. The color of your hair...the fact that you are so sensitive and observant..."
"And He made me really good at swimming!" my child added.
"That's right!"
"I like God's plan!" He/she smiled and ran out of the room.
Thank you, God, for the mouths of babes.
15 comments:
Love this! It is a lesson that I am still learning at 32 years of age!!! I pray my boys catch on a lot quicker than I have!
I love how our God works in even the littlest of hearts!
How precious! A bit of God's grace straight from that child's mouth.
I have read your blog off and on for a while, but I don't think I have ever commented before. Just wanted to say thanks for sharing this. I have a child that has some severe limitations in her mental development and if I am not careful I allow myself to get very sad dwelling on the things she will never get to do. Reading this reminded me of the promise I have in God that His plan is perfect.
Thanks for sharing. This really spoke to me this morning as I was actually pondering the development of my 5 year old who is more like a 3 year old. It's hard as a mother not to worry. Thanks for the reminder of your wonderful child that loves God and that child who themselves know no limitations on God's plan!
You know what? A therapists opinion is only that, an opinion, we serve a greater God who already has it all figured out, and who is capable of making all things possible. We are only limited by our own inabilities and we have a whole life time to discover our abilities.
ALL of your children will grow up and be perfectly wonderful!!
These are concerns every mother has, regardless of what specific areas their child may struggle in. I worry that my child will be the random focus of some bully. I worry that she, for whatever reason, won't be accepted by the "cool kids" and will feel badly about herself.
I think that it is clear that you are teaching your babies what matters...that God made them special and unique and nothing about them is an accident. You're doing a great job!
Chris Burke's parents were told to institutionalize him , because he would never be able to achieve a lot.
Chris Burke is the disabled man who was on Life Goes on TV show.
I would never take the therapists or doctors word on how far a child can go or not go.
I have had students , who I was told couldnt learn how to read, and i was able to teach them to read.
I recognize this post as a deep, from the heart, yearning for normalcy, desire... from a mother who wants the best for her kiddos....and I understand. It's what we do as mothers. It's why we are on our knees often. He will either change the situation or change your yearnings...either way, you and your child will be blessed because you care.
angela conklin
a friend in NC thru your entries
Since you know that I am a therapist, I will speak from that opinion. My hope is that she shared her professional "opinion" in a kind and a loving way. I was a therapist before and after having kids, and I will tell you, my whole understanding of a lot things changed after having kids. Not that one can't be a great therapist without having kids, but your perspective changes.
What I would say is, yes, God is absolutely the one in control! While as a therapist, sometimes you have to make decisions or guide parents in a way that can be painful, I have also learned to NEVER lower the ceiling of expectations for any child. Because they will amaze us given the chance!!
Lately, I have had several older kids come back to visit me. What they wanted most, in their own cute way, is to show me what they COULD DO! All things we had worked on and things that were hard, but they had OVERCOME!!
This little person will too!
What the world sees as limitations, God sees as unlimited possibilities. Your sweet, gifted child is exactly as God intended.
I can't say it any more beautifully than Joni just did.
You share your heart so eloquently! It is a blessing to this mother's heart. Tonight, I was silently grieving a recent diagnosis given to my mother...and as I was snuggling my 4 yo daughter at bedtime...she kept looking me straight in the eye very intently. She rubbed my checks..and I finally asked, do you need to tell me something. She nodded...took a minute to answer...and then said, Jesus loves us Momma...and He everything is going to be allright. She does not know anything...and that could only have been from Him above. How very true, out of the mouth of babes.
Again, thank you for sharing on this blog. As much as it is documenting this time in your life for your family, it ministers to this mother here in Texas.
Kristi in Texas
Isn't God amazing! He patted you right on the head!! How awesome--He made sure you knew He heard you and He didn't want you to worry any longer! I hurt for you, because it is never easy to hear someone say things like that about our children.
To be honest, that is when I want to say something mature like, "Your mama" or "Would you like to discuss this out back?" :)
For some reason, as I fought insomnia last night, this post was heavy in my heart - probably because I want to say something but don't know what that something should be.
So I will take a risk and say this very simplistic thought.
If swimming is what this child does well, and loves, then swim, swim, swim.
After all, Michael Jordan's lack of baseball skill is NOT what we remember him for.
Your children obviously have a very soft place to fall if/when this world is cruel. This child will be fine, because you and the Lord will see to it.
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