Last night I found this very interesting article on children and lying in New York Magazine. The timing was impeccable, as I have just started to deal with the issue of truth-telling with my P.
Of all things, his lying is about a standard 3 year old issue: going to the potty. He dances around, holding himself, asserting all the while he does not need to go. When I insist we go and try 'just in case' he cries, "No. No. NO! I DON'T have to go." Once on the potty, he always produces.
This was the scene Saturday. After he finished, I knelt down on his level and said sweetly but clearly, "P, the truth is that you did need to go potty. You knew you needed to go, so you did not tell the truth. You told a lie."
He looked at me with all the charm he could muster and replied, "Mommy, I love you even when I am telling you a lie."
(This is a clear take-off on my attempts at re-enforcing unconditional love by telling the children I love them even when I am angry.)
This morning, the scene repeated itself. When he again informed me of his love despite the lying, I was ready.
"P, I love you, too, but we do not lie to people we love. Part of what it means to love someone is to tell them the truth."
"Yeah, we just lie to people we don't love or know, right Mommy?"
Not exactly.
5 comments:
Too adorable! How are you supposed to teach them when they undermine all your efforts with their cuteness?
Keep on....
Diane in Oregon
Wow...oh the moment I have before me. I am glad that I have you to "lead the way"...you are doing an awesome job! He is so smart! :) Things they come up with
What a clever one. You're doing a great job!
Just wanted to say thanks so much for your insight into motherhood. I am a newlywed, so children are in the distant future for us. But I have learned so much about motherhood through your blog that it makes me so excited for what is to come. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!
I hope that I will be half the mother you are one day.
Post a Comment