This afternoon my sons were invited to go home with a classmate for a play date. This left K & me to have some one-on-one girl time. We had just painted her nails, so she asked me to think of something else 'girlie.' We decided to visit a local tea room for an afternoon tea party. Unfortunately, we arrived to find that they had closed at 3pm--so we were left to wander about downtown.
We decided to stop by a bakery and a doll store that were 4 blocks away. Despite the fact that it was 99 degrees outside, K asked if we could walk. I agreed, under the condition that she hold my hand. :-) So, hand-in-hand we walked, skipped, strolled and jumped over cracks. We stopped in a couple of stores along the way, drew "I heart U"s on the dusty windows of abandoned storefronts, purchased and ate gummy cherries and chatted about nothing in particular. It was as close a perfect, picturesque afternoon with a pigtail-clad, uniform wearing 6 year old girl as I can imagine. We even capped it off with a visit to see a friend's puppies, for crying out loud! Every day is certainly not as Norman Rockwellish, but today was very good.
Tonight I went by the group home for Bible Study. On the sofa across from me sat A, age 15, H, age 13 and F, Age 16. As we chatted about the knotty, less than noble family tree that led to the birth of Jesus, the conversation inevitably turned to their own families--specifically, their moms. Regardless of what they have been through at the hands of or without intervention/protection from their mothers, their hearts' desires are still to just be 'home' with their mamas.
I was suddenly flooded with a mixture of emotions about my afternoon with K.
Gratitude that we can have such an idyllic afternoon.
Sadness that my Monday Night Girls don't have the same experience.
Confusion and even a little embarrassment over the inequity of it all.
I am so frustrated by my girls' reports of their mothers' failure to complete their case plans to have custody restored. I know there are deep issues of addiction, abuse, poverty and ignorance at play.
I hate sin and the way the Enemy is able to use it to destroy the lives and hurt the hearts of so many people.
I am still pondering tonight what to do with all these feelings. I know the answer is NOT to take for granted the blessed childhoods my children have been able to experience so far. I am exceedingly humbled and grateful. I want to better understand how to give out of the overflow. Praying through what that looks like...
Sometimes there are no easy answers.