I would not trade bedtime conversations with my K for anything in the world. They are really the time when she opens up. Perhaps it is the safety of the darkness--or the lack of competing voices from her brothers. She's cuddlier than usual and really talks about the things that are on her heart. Recently that has been a bully who is giving her a hard time at school. Tonight it was a complete snapshot of what I love about her at this age and stage.
Her only prayer tonight was for a little boy in her Sunday School class who has been experiencing a health scare related to a lump in his neck. After she finished praying she looked at me and plainly asked, "Mommy, do they think it might be cancer?"
"Baby, they are testing to find that out," I replied.
"So, kids can get cancer? I didn't know that."
"It doesn't happen to children very often, honey" I assured her.
"What causes cancer anyway?" she pressed.
"They don't really know yet, honey."
"No one on this Earth knows?" she asked incredulously.
I shook my head no.
"But God does, " she giggled.
"Maybe you can grow up and become a scientist who works to figure it out," I offered.
Her eyes twinkled.
"How do scientists figure that stuff out, Mommy?"
"Well, they think of an idea and do tests to see if their idea is right."
"I don't really have any big ideas yet," she countered.
"Oh, of course you do!" I encouraged.
She then went on to recount 'big ideas' she has had lately.
As I walked down the stairs I thought of the preciousness of these conversations with my little girl. They are still so steeped in innocence. She is piecing the world together--trying to understand its rules and what place she will have in it.
I want to freeze time, bubble wrap her heart and soul, keep that pure giggle, protect her from the fear, insecurity, difficulty of this world.
I know I cannot do that--so I just try to savor these moments.
8 comments:
Wow. Intense! She is a deep thinker and what a tender heart. I would LOVE to know more about the bully situation...as in how you are dealing with that as the mama bear and how you are instructing K to deal with it. Like I always say, this parenting thing is very hard, yet so very sweet. Have a great weekend!
i love this post tonight Jen.
I work in a career field where I see the worst of the worst and over the last several years my views of the world and what I have learned about it and people have changed dramatically. While reading this I could not help but remember being just like K when I was a kid in bed dreaming and planning and sometimes worrying. My parents did a great job protecting me from the violence and horribleness of the world. I have never had a day where I did not feel loved and protected by them. all kids should go to bed knowing they are safe, will not be messed with or wake up to no one home etc.....
now that I am an adult I find my self in tears asking God why these things happen. I love working with kids and am sad bad things happen to them.
thanks for the post tonight.It warmed my soul and provided a nice walk back into my childhood.
this is probably rambling. I just let it flow from my heart.
God bless.
Very sweet moment. This BIG world is hard to grasp, but our children do a great job!!
Even though I am not a mom yet or even a wife, I remember talking with mom at a young age with big questions and lots of thoughts on life. It is neat to see K's mind at work, I pray and know God will use her sweet spirit and compassionate heart in a big way. Thanks for sharing, so sweet!
So true, so true. I meant to let you know that 2 Sundays ago I was reading over our church's prayer concerns and your friend Sweeney was on the list!! Also, I loved your post about worrying over P and how his life might play out. We had a baby last May and 10 days after he was born we found out he had Achondroplasia. The not knowing how life will be for him has been hard. Comforting to know that things are going well for your boy.
There is someone else who is storing these moments away (K) though she is not aware at this moment that she will remember these tender moments later, especially on the day when she has her own children and puts them to bed, or when she sleeps in her own college dorm for the very first night without her family, or on the eve of her inauguration as the first woman president :) (haha, YUP!) .... I have found that it is at the moments that I am about to leap into the unknown, at the brink of something important but scary in my life, that I go back to those most comforting memories, and gain strength and confidence from the times my family completely embraced everything about me and gave me that encouragement.
I think it is wonderful that you acknowledge that the storms, the fear, and the difficulty will come, but the way you are 'building up your children's ship' by nurturing their souls, so that they can navigate through the inevitable storms with the courage and grace you are instilling in them, is so admirable. Every night you spend with them now is another lifesaver to add to their boats for those times they will need them.
I love this post. I love it for so many reasons, but my favorite thing is that your conversation was about both God and science simultaneously. God knows what causes cancer, and by using tools He's given us, we can find its cure. Such a great message to teach your little girl. Glad I found your blog!
My K (oldest daughter Katy) is now married and I'm staying in her new home a few states away from mine over Spring Break. Your post brought back so many precious memories. Keep those bedside talks in the darkened rooms going: she'll really need them at age 16 and 17 as the questions and decisions become more complex. Blessings on you both.
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