I found myself overwhelmed this morning. I am surrounded by cancer. My good friend is losing his battle against melanoma. He is 34.
A five year old in my children's Sunday School class has been diagnosed with a malignant tumor in his neck.
Our accountant and friend, a young father of three children, is riding a crazy roller coaster of chemo and a cancer that cannot be definitively labeled.
I do not doubt God. I am not angry at Him. I am just sad. I am very aware of how much sadness there is in this world. Cancer is brutal. Helplessly watching people you love suffer is horrible.
I went into church this morning hoping to get a good Word from God. Something that would specifically speak to the heaviness on my heart.
As we were singing When I Survey the Wonderful Cross, I was struck by this line: "All who gather here, by grace draw near and bless Your name."
Specifically, I thought about how contrary to human nature it is to bless the name of the Lord when life is tough. I mean, human nature (and the unbelieving world) says, "Why are you blessing the name of someone who has not come through for you?" Circumstantially, it is hard to see God as 'for' us sometimes, isn't it?
My friend, Cabell, wrote about this on her caringbridge site earlier this week...how when Jesus was asleep during the storm at sea the disciples were furious that He seemed to be sleeping through their life and death struggle. I think of Lazarus' frustrated sisters who watched their beloved brother die while they waited for Jesus to show up and heal him.
But as a believer I know He is not asleep. I know that He is not delayed. I know that He came through for me when He suffered and died on the cross and was later resurrected. Ultimately, I am reminded that this world is not my home. It is not going to be comfortable and free from pain. But this world is only temporary. My eternal home will be one where there is no weeping and mourning. There is no pain, only peace.
"I would have despaired unless I had believed..." Psalm 27:13a
When life is overwhelming my faith is vital. It is only in the KNOWING that I follow a creator, sustainer and divine orchestrator that I can find peace.
I have a choice. I can focus on the painful circumstances or I can focus on Him.
I must focus on Him--not as a way to avoid the pain and sadness of this life--but as the only way to make it through it.
May my meditation be pleasing to him, as I rejoice in the Lord. Psalm 104:34
9 comments:
...*as the only way to make it through*. So true. So very true.
Some more comfort in a hard time:
"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." Psalm 126:5
"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.'" Revelation 21:3-4
What an ending, to be comforted by God himself!
Beautifully said, JMom. Thank you for sharing this today. I found it to be encouraging. My pastor said today that we have to keep our eyes on God and not on our circumstances. And now you have said the same thing. I think God must want me to understand that today. :) He is good!
I couldn't get over the similarities between your post and our message at church yesterday. Both really it home for me. Our minister said yesterday that while suffering is inevitable, misery is optional. That really stuck with me b/c we will suffer is this life, but we are Christians and have no reason to be miserable! What a gift. I am praying for your friends.
Thanks for sharing. I too feel a little overwhelmed with it. My mother-in-law is finishing her treatments for breast cancer next week and I am heart broken over SR's journey with it.
I am so amazed with God and how he gives these patients, wives, children, family the strength to perservere. That they can see God's grace through all of it is a huge testimony to me.
Thanks again for today's post! (and email me to let me know who in K's sunday school class. This breaks my heart. I couldn't even imagine... I hadn't heard..not suprising b/c my K hasn't been at sunday school very much this winter b/c she picks up every bug known to man.)
This post reminds me of the new Carrie Underwood song called, "Temporary Home." Check it out http://www.cmt.com/videos/carrie-underwood/478351/temporary-home.jhtml
Enjoy reading your blog!!!
Love you J...I am praying for your hurting heart, precious friend.
Love
Suzanne
I'm sorry so many around you are going through such tragic things right now. I've been there..somewhat..and I remember days, holding the Bible to my chest, telling the Lord I BELIEVE, inspite of everything around me I BELIEVE that YOU will not leave us or forsake us.. HE is so good!! I'm listening to "How Deep the Father's Love" right now..praying for your friends!
I need to read this the day you posted and have come back to read several times. I have been really having a hard time being overwhelmed with a friend who is 27 yrs and 3 children who has cancer. It spread to his brain and he just had surgery on Friday morning. We have been praying a lot for complete healing and I am praying for Sweeney but this post has reminded that I have to choose to focus on Him because He helps me get through the sadness.
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