The Woman at the Pool Bar

Greetings from Mexico! I wasn't planning on writing today, but I had an experience this afternoon that I felt compelled to write about. There were a few funny moments that were lost in translation as we adjusted to Mexico today--I will get to those in a later post. This was more serious and, frankly, an encounter I hope I remember for some time.

Our resort is built on the side of a rocky cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean. There are infinity pools with swim up bars and, apparently, quite the singles scene. By the time we got checked in, settled, changed, fed and out to the pool it was late afternoon. As soon as we found a pair of lounge chairs we realized most everyone around the pool was watching a certain woman. She was very, very intoxicated and making very bold advances on two separate men. One of them was openly disrespectful to her. The other, a companion of the first man, alternated between rebuffing her and kissing her. 

I love to people watch, but within about 2 minutes of observing this situation I started to get upset. All I could think was that this was someone's daughter...using her body to get attention...clearly incapacitated by alcohol consumption. She was drinking, then swimming underwater in a pool with no lifeguard. She stayed under a little longer each time and bobbed her head in a way that made it appear she might pass out in 4 feet of water. 

At least 15 people were watching her as if she were their own private reality television show--and seriously, she was a train wreck waiting to happen. And my heart was sick. Suddenly this woman, who I  later learned was 52 years old, looked like a lost and afraid little girl. She was vulnerable and she was being humiliated. 

I thought of the woman at the well and I thought of the woman caught in adultery. I apologized in advance to my husband for being a busy body then went to the side of the pool, hoping to catch her eye. I chickened out and chose instead to point her out to the bartender and implore him to keep an eye on her. A few more minutes passed by and the situation did not improve, so I went back to the side of the pool. I knelt down a few feet from her and our eyes met. I told her I noticed her swimming and wondered if she might want to take a break. I offered her a towel and she agreed to get out of the water. As she stumbled up the stairs in her ill-fitting bikini I scurried to get a towel around her. A dozen pair of eyes were watching her.

I learned that her name was *Penny and she was here with her 'husband,' she later corrected herself that he was her 'partner of one year.'  (He was not among the men she was with in the pool.) She asked where I was sitting and came over to talk to my husband and me. Suddenly there were many curious and judgmental eyes on us. She was very inebriated. (Have I mentioned that part yet?) She rambled as she spoke of her young adult children and how disappointed they were in her. She told us over and over how embarrassed she was about her behavior, but that she was just having fun because it was her last day. 

I reassured her that we were not judging her. It was obvious that she was quite accustomed to feeling guilty and judged. Then she paused and looked at me intently. "I am just confused. People don't normally treat me with such kindness." Frankly, this admission was her most heartbreaking of all. I could tell in her eyes it was true.

I never mentioned the name of Jesus. She was drunk. She is leaving the resort in the morning. Perhaps I should have...but I was praying like crazy in my head the whole 15 minutes of our encounter...and I really just felt the prompting to love her with no pressure, no agenda and no expectation of anything in return. It was powerful.

The other lesson I learned is that I am really, really done with celebrity gossip. My finding the remotest bit of entertainment in other people's bad behavior is no different than the 15 people sitting around the pool today waiting to see if she would drown or be abused. No one should rejoice in the humiliation of another human being. Ever.

Forgive me, God. Please give me eyes to see all people as your beloved children.