K is an exceptionally joyful little girl. She, of course, has her moments but her overall temperament is simple joy. As an outgrowth of that she has recently started singing constantly. She is rarely in tune and her lyrics are often random run-on observations of the world--but it is an interesting (and precious) insight into what is going on in her little heart and head.
Last night as she was coloring at the kitchen table her lyrics were something to the effect of, "I am a goooooood ar-tist. Everyone thinks my art is beau-ti-ful and they tell meeeee I am so good at draaaaw-ing. Oh yeah."
I couldn't help but giggle at how she was rejoicing in herself and her strengths.
This morning, over cereal, she looked squarely at me and said, "Mommy, sometimes I just think in my head about what a special girl I am."
It made me a little uncomfortable. Of course, I tell her those things. I want her to be filled with the knowledge that she is fearfully and wonderfully made--on purpose and with a purpose. Yet, the human (ahem, grown up) response is to be uncomfortable with her comfort with herself.
I find it interesting that we pump our children up to get them ready for the world , then cringe that maybe they are too confident. I decided not to correct her. The world will do its part to try and convince her otherwise soon enough. I laughed tonight as I thought, this same sweet female heart will one day want to change her curly hair, be taller, thinner, more this, less that. Years from now, I will find myself trying to remind her what she so enthusiastically embraces as truth about herself right now.
I pray God will restore the very perspective and confidence about how He has uniquely positioned me in this world that my 5 year old joyfully possesses.
It is not about conceit or overconfidence...it is about identity. She is a masterful design of the Creator of the Universe, an adopted child of the King of Kings, chosen before the beginning of time, clothed in righteousness, holy and dearly loved--and all of the plans He has for her are written in His book. I'd say that does make her pretty special.
8 comments:
I'm so glad to have checked your blog right before heading to bed tonight. This very thing happened with my three year old little girl this evening as I brushed the wet tangles out of her hair after bath. She looked in the mirror and told me, "Mom, I'm just the prettiest girl in the whole world."
And at first, for me too, it made me uncomfortable - for the exact same reasons.
But I smiled at her and said, "Yes you are."
I wholeheartedly agree and say "Amen!" to your thoughts on K's identity and confidence in her young life.
We are the major influences in our children's lives right now, and while I endeavor to teach Gracie to know about God and the identity He gives her.....the closest example she has of God right now that she can understand and tangibly see is me.
While I am most definitely not God, I am her Mama. And I agree that she's the prettiest girl in the whole wide world.
Thanks for your wisdom.
Amy@balmingilead.typepad.com
I'm so glad you didn't correct her. As the mother of 2 young daughters (almost-5 and 11 weeks), I already stress over those self-esteem things, when they will start cropping up, and how rough they can make life in general. Treasure that precious optimism and enthusiasm! If only we could bottle it for, oh, about 7-8 years from now when adolescence hits and junior high rears its awkward head. I hope you're still blogging then - your kids are just a bit older than my older daughter, you navigate the waters confidently. :)
We're at the same point with our 5 y.o. girl, another joyous and kindhearted soul who also has her lesser moments too. "I'm so smart mommy!" was what we got the other day after a particularly successful (and legible!) session of letter practicing. We tell her that all the time when she does clever things. But the question of when has she crossed the line with her self confidence has come up more frequently with the hubs and I. We've taken to agreeing with her and then gently suggesting that when she's with people other than Mommy and Daddy she should just be smart or be beautiful and let other people figure that out for themselves. I can just see her busting out at the children's chat one Sunday morning telling the congregation how beautiful she is and having it suggested that perhaps we need to do some reading up on what the Bible has to say about humility! :D But your point is well taken about how soon the world will come crashing in on her self confidence.
Right on sista!
I have a 3.5 month old baby girl. Every night as I am putting her to bed I say a prayer that as she grows up she will see herself as God sees her--His beautiful, wonderful creation. I am often reminded of the words in David Crowder's song: "You make everything glorious and I am yours. What does that make me?" The world will do its part to tear down her image of herself soon enough, better to be able to remind her of the confidence that she has now.
I say, Praise God she has that confidence and self-love! And hopefully she does carry it on into her teen, and adult years. You are a wonderful mother, and she is growing up knowing God's infinite love for her, so maybe, just maybe, she won't struggle with comparing herself to others as she gets older. I learned from your blog that comparison is the thief of joy : )
As the mom of older girls, I can tell you these comments won't go on forever. Cherish them now.
The line between building confidence and arrogance is fine-at least, it was for me. Whenever one of my children would say something like this I would agree with them whole-heartedly, and then have a discussion about how big God's love and heart were. For instance "I'm the prettiest girl" would become a conversation (first, with me agreeing that I thought she was very pretty, then a comment about a character trait I admire even more (Oh yes, you're so, so pretty. And besides that, one of the things that I admire about you is how you keep trying when things get tough"). Then, turn the conversation to God, and how God thinks (insert a friend's name here) is so pretty, and (another friend's name here) is so pretty, and why that might be. Then we'd talk about character traits we admire about these friends, and the daughter in question as well. It became a good conversation about God's love and how His creation is beautiful, leaving the child happy and confident, in both herself and the world around her.
The *pretty* thing was an issue, or at least a topic of conversation, when my daughter was younger. I made up a song that I use to sing to her all the time. it was *Jesus makes you pretty on the outside, only if you're pretty on the inside*. I wanted her to know that it was the inner beauty that made her outward beauty so visible.
Great post.
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