Yesterday afternoon K was caught lying to me. The details are irrelevant, but I asked her a question and could tell by her facial expression and lack of eye contact that she was not being honest. So, I reminded her that it was important to tell the truth, then asked her again. Same twisted expressions and darting eyes...this time her tongue got involved and her finger went in her mouth. On the fourth try she finally fessed up.
As is often the case, the initial question would not have landed her in trouble--but the bald faced lying--that definitely had consequences. She was sent to her room just as neighbors came over to play with their new puppy. I came in a few minutes later to check on her and could hear her sobs as I entered the house. She was in her bed as I requested, but torturing herself by watching the other children squealing and frolicking with the puppy out the window.
As we started getting ready for bed she was obviously still processing all that had occurred. After a few minutes of chitchat about other things she said, "Mommy, I am sorry I lied to you." It was a truly repentant, beautiful little expression of her heart. We brushed teeth and had devotion. I tucked her in and kissed her goodnight, and as per usual, when I started to leave her room the deep question came up.
"Mommy, why is it bad to lie, but OK for Hannah Montana to have a secret about who she really is and not tell truth about it?"
Immediately, I was filled with doubt and regret about my decision to let her watch the movie--her first real exposure to the Hannah/Miley franchise. But it was cute and seemingly innocent and I want my children to be 'in the world, but not of it' and a lot of my friends' kids with older siblings have seen lots of Hannah shows without issue...blah blah blah.
I have to answer her question. How do I explain moral relativism to my big eyed, bigger hearted, innocent, impressionable 5 year old??
"Well, sweetie, do you remember that everyone got angry at her for tricking them and not telling the truth? Remember she took off the wig and said she couldn't do it anymore?"
"Yes, but they all told her to keep doing it."
"Baby, sometimes the whole crowd says do it and they are wrong."
And sometimes Mommies fall for it too.
7 comments:
I hear you. I, too, struggle with some of the grayer issues of the pop culture that are so prevalent, even to my 3 and almost 2 year old.
The question is, do I make it "gray" or is it really all truly black and white?
Ugh. I think I know the answer to that one.
Excellent post and I believe you handled the situation VERY well.
Amy@balmingilead.typepad.com
Great post! I am wondering what you use for devotions at night? Looking for some new resources. I used your magnet system for behavior you posted about a few months back- works beautifully! Thanks!
I agree. Hannah Montana...don't do it!
Thank you so much for touching on this subject. Lately I seem to find my 5 year old, Will lying to me at different times. I'm never quite sure what to do about it. I normally say "Will, you know God does not like anyone to lie" and then he will apoligize and we go on our way. But, I need to make a stronger impact on him for doing this so he will not do it again. Or atleast he will think about it before he does it again!
Thanks for touching on this!
Katie
So glad you posted about that and a good reminder for us moms to not fall into the crowd. I heard a quote on the radio the other day that said when we try to reach down into the culture we usually fall in.
This issue-- dealing with the secular humanism that is EVERYWHERE and then contrasting it with God's absolute TRUTH-- has really been on my mind/heart over the past few weeks. Still trying to figure out the balance of being in the world and not of it. Praying through what that looks like....
Great book recommendation: Family Driven Faith, by Bauchman. He takes a very stringent approach, but he definitely makes you think!!!
Thanks for your words that always touch my heart.
so glad you posted this. my triplets began pre-k last week. my heart is having a hard time accepting that they will be so heavily influenced by people and things that aren't in line with what we're teaching them. and it is, like you said, so difficult to explain some of these complexities to children their age. i just keep praying that god will guide them appropriately and that he will give us the wisdom to handle the tough situations as they come up.
Post a Comment