Wednesday, January 07, 2009

This is a Drill

One of the convictions I hold strongly is to be very careful with the theology I espouse on my blog. So much of what I write is my understanding of what I think God is trying to teach me...but the one thing I know for certain is that there is still MUCH about God I do not understand.

Sunday afternoon we had a very close call with K in a parking lot. The details are irrelevant, but I thought she was climbing in one side of the car with her Daddy and she decided to follow me to the other side instead (unbeknownst to me). She darted out in front of a large pick up truck, who thankfully slammed on his brakes as both my husband and I screamed for her to freeze. A tragedy was averted, but a split second could have made for a totally different outcome.

I was very upset for several minutes after it happened. There were so many layers to my emotion: relief that she was safe, guilt that I had not told my husband I was walking away and made sure he knew she was staying, devastation as I imagined what life would have been like had she been hit. The ironic thing is that my biggest hang-up over leaving the children behind while we traveled last week was my fear that something would happen in a parking lot. Then the near miss happened on my watch only 12 hours after I returned. I felt like a real hypocrite.

The incident also served as another reminder that despite all of my attempts to insulate and protect my children, I am not perfect, they are not perfect and the belief that I can 'control' their environment is an illusion.

I was reminded that if I believe what I say I do, I must trust that God is Sovereign. The point was further driven home yesterday as we experienced severe weather and a tornado warning that sent us to our neighbor's basement. As Emmy and I did our best to 'protect' our children, we also sought to alleviate their fear by reminding them that God was in control and we were safe. At one point, Emmy's daughter was particularly anxious even as we assured her that we were fine.
Her brother finally said, "M, a tornado is not going to hit here."
"Then why are we in this basement?" she asked.
A good point.

If God is Sovereign and He has a plan, why do we wear seatbelts, fret over parking lots, hide during tornadoes, lock our doors? I think I know the answer: We must be wise. We cannot be careless with our lives. I can think of countless times in Scripture God warned people to run or hide for their protection. The rub in my life seems to be that in doing all these things I can fall victim to the illusion that I can build walls, bubbles, a life even that 'protects' myself and my family.

Last night before bed P asked me why God made tornadoes. My off the cuff reply was, "I am not sure, honey, but I think He needs to remind us sometimes that He is in charge."

I, for one, am certainly learning that lesson...and in the end I am very thankful that it is Him, not me, on the throne!

6 comments:

MamaBear said...

I instantly got sick to my stomach reading what happened with K. When we have close calls (and we do, no matter how overprotective I am) I play them over and over again in my head.

A friend and I were talking about this topic the other day over lunch when I told her I'd heard of couples taking separate planes to the same destination "just in case". That thought had never crossed my mind, but now that I've heard of the idea, I still can't see myself doing that. God IS in control whether I take a separate plane or not.

p.s. From one book lover to another - I posted a couple of reviews on my blog tonight of Tyndale children's books. There's a link to a contest at the end.

Kris said...

I think about these same things (why does it matter if I take x precaution if I really believe that God's plan is going to happen either way) - it is hard to understand.

I'm so glad K is safe.

FaceforGrace said...

I think you nailed the answer perfectly. We have to use wisdom. I kind of look at not wearing seat belts, etc as testing God. Sure He is sovereign and has a plan, but I wouldn't jump off a cliff and expect God to save me...its up to me to use wisdom; and hopefully try teach my children to use wisdom also.

My heart leapt into my throat when you told the story about K. I've had similar scary experiences with my own daughter- they are about the same age. So glad she is ok.

Christi said...

I have struggled with these same thoughts at various times throughout the years, & I agree with what you came up with. Oh, how I pray for wisdom!

Anonymous said...

Oh, I've been there too. It is such a struggle and a balance. So glad your daughter is o.k. May God's wisdom and protection surround all of our children.

geisme said...

Oh my goodness! My heart was in my throat! Thank you Jesus that she was kept safe! It brings to my mind the whole incident with the Chapman family. Oh how precious these little ones are to us, yet they are only a loan until God says so.
Hugs, Gail