"There has never been a day that I have not been proud of you, I told my daughter... Though most days I am louder about other stuff so it is easy to miss that." -Brian Andreas
Our transition to a school has gone very well--except for K's resistance to nap time. For the first week or so she cried every day at rest time. Her teacher told me that she recites her address and the color of our house each afternoon when it is time to lay down and begs Ms. Angie to bring her home.
Hysterically, K has even clarified that Ms. Angie does, in fact, have a car seat in her car. When Ms. Angie pointed out that there was only one and asked K what that meant for her brothers, K asserted that "they will be fine."
My husband pointed out that since she had dropped her nap several months ago and the boys had not, nap time had formerly been her "special time" to be one-on-one with Mommy. It was a strong nudge toward getting back in the habit of carving out one-on-one time with each child.
One of the resolutions I made this weekend, was to find a way to reestablish this habit. Before we were in school 5 days a week I used my regular babysitting blocks as opportunities to take the children out individually every week or so. When we lost our childcare help, this, unfortunately, became more complicated and fell off my radar screen.
Last night and again this morning K complained of a tummy ache. I was having a bit of a need-some-QT-with-my children heartache, so I decided to keep her home today "just in case." What a wonderful morning it was! She was happy as a clam and apparently quite healthy.
As we ran a couple of mandatory errands this morning, I was feeling a little guilt over whether I would be starting an unfortunate precedent by keeping her with me today. We just happened to be standing in Staples and I was holding her (to keep her germs confined to us 'just in case.') Just then I heard Steven Curtis Chapman singing "Cinderella" overhead and I knew in my heart keeping her home had, in this instance, been the right thing.
She wore a feather boa and beamed radiantly all morning long--even during the most mundane tasks. Maybe quality time is her love language too!
13 comments:
My mother allowed us to miss one school day each semester while we were in high school - just because. Even kids get overwhelmed and need "mental health days." I allow my kids to do that too. Every now and then, when they just seem overwhelmed, I let them stay home and refresh themselves. Surprisingly (or not) they don't seem to ask for it much. I think just knowing that we understand the need and the option is there goes a long way in relieving the pressure kids are under.
I think you made the right decision with K.
And whose day isn't made better with a pink boa?
So funny, I call them "Mental Health Days", too! I let Reeves have one last Monday, and Lucy had one on Thursday....they are WONDERFUL for all our souls!
Love your post and your insight. Thank you!
Megan
These days will be gone to fast, so I say soak up the QT with her. Maybe that is her love language, it is mine for sure. Even at 26 I still crave that time alone with my mom! She came to visit this weekend and I get so sad to see her leave, but love that she takes time to come see me! I love the picture of K, she is adorable! Blessings
man, she looks SO old!!! wished, you still had that regular childcare you mentioned :) hahahaha, miss you guys! we should plan for your "need" of a date night one weekend when i am up next...my treat! :) looking forward to seeing you sunday night!
So many EMOTIONS in this post!!! Funny that K gives your address and color of house!!! Sad that she is sad. Sweet that you spent time together. True that she knew the boys could take care of themselves.
Girls have a way of *worrying* about things at home while they're gone. My daughter use to worry about me during the day. She felt safe when she was at home or with me. we all have people we feel safe with and we all pray they would embrace us when we have a need but set us free when the time is right. I feel safe with Jesus and safe with my husband...but they both know when I can make it on my own. You seem to know that with K too...what a great mommy!!!
What a special day for her!
The quote at the top of this post really speaks to me this morning... wow.
I have a 4 year old DD too...and I am learning the same things. Most especially to stop my "mommy mind" sometimes...and just listen and try to be intuitive to what she is needing. She is getting so big and doesn't need me physically the way she used to...and yet some days, she just wants to sit with mommy. In saying all that, I don't have 3 the same age that require my attention!! Bless you! And I know you feel equally blessed to have them all. It's trying to anticipate and be what they need!
Thanks for sharing your blog. I am blessed daily by your writing!
Kristi in Texas
What a beautiful post. At her age, keeping her home even if it's "just to be sure" isn't going to hurt anything. Enjoy those precious babies while you can.
The picture is a Glamour Shots pose if I ever saw one. She has grown up so much since I first started reading your blog. I cry every year that my oldest gets to being 18. It's one less year to having her home.
I always called them Mental Health Days with my kids...my mother would say we were playing Hooky though - don't feel bad about it - you need to have one on one time - everyone does, whether you have triplets, or just regular old siblings! Keeps you connected and one on one...I imagine with triplets (or any multiples) there is a REAL need to be set apart everyone once in a while! And as long as its understood there is one mental health day per Fall or Spring, no one suffers! You are doing a great job - just follow your instincts!
The need for one-on-one time is an ongoing struggle for me with our triplets. I want to share that with them. I desperately want to. But, as you well know, the time just flies away from me.
I came here to tell you that we call those sorts of days "mental health days", and it seems that we are not alone in that! We ALL need a break now and then...enjoy those moments!
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