Amen. I could not agree more. Why is it that others (frequently strangers in the grocery store)often feel the need to tell you how much worse the next stage is going to be? I am all for encouragement to savor the moment, but the warm fuzzies are lost when it is followed by a warning of how awful future stages are going to be. I am reminded that we are called to be encouragers and "to spur one another on toward love and good deeds."
Yet, I do it too. Sometimes to be funny. Other times it probably stems from my need to feel like I am experienced and have been there & done that. But the truth is, each of us carry enough self-doubt on our own that we don't really need a pile-on from other "well-intentioned" observers.
So this is my challenge this week...to honestly encourage rather than robbing people's joy.
"So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you'll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you're already doing this; just keep on doing it."
I Thessalonians 5:10 (The Message)
9 comments:
Thank you for the great post - and the link to yet ANOTHER great one.
As for parenting, EVERY phase is difficult. And every phase is MAGICAL. So magical it sometimes makes you forget to breathe. The secret is to look for the magic every day and trudge through the difficult parts the best you can while trying to block out the naysayers and self doubt. Finding a way to do that last part is sometimes like a magic trick in itself
HW- "So magical it sometimes makes you forget to breathe." Your comment is another beautiful post. Very wise advice!
Wow! That is so true. I always feel like someone punched me in the stomach when I think I have made it through the "rough" times, and then have someone tell me that I should just wait for what's about to happen next. I never had this issue with my daughter, but I get hit with it constantly with the the triplets.
Do I really need to sit here and worry how I am going to send 3 kids to college at the same time? They aren't even 2 yet! Do I need to worry about how all three will, most likely, get their driver's licenses at the same time? When I ask a question like, "Will it get easier?" please only respond if it's an answer I would like to hear! :)
I remember when i was pregnant with my first at a women's event at church helping out. When i finally sat down to enjoy the food, a well-meaning woman sat down next to me and said "Well, enjoy the hot meal. It'll probably be your last one for a while". Meaning that with kids, i would always have the last bit of food and it would be cold. As true as that has occasionally been, i, right then, not even a baby to hold yet, promised myself i would not do that to other women. Each of us has to learn it as we go. Unasked for advice is just not fun, and it doesn't help often. I wanted to learn how to eat a warm meal myself, without someone being a doomsdayer along the way.
Eater of many warm meals with 4 kids now!
charlene
I loved both post and agree...children are a blessing not a burden...those comments make me think those people do not truly believe that. I have LOVED every stage of parenting so far and look forward to the future. Even the hard times of training and discipline are a true blessing...I really believe that!
Thanks for this insight.
Kim
Jen, 'just wait until' you take your 17 year old daughter shopping for a prom dress. All the prayers, tears and turning control over to God (again and again) will shine forth in those moments. The blessings and the challenges of all the 'stages' will be worth it all. She will make great choices based on what she has been taught and what she has observed. My daughter never cesses to amaze me. She proves to me that God is in control of her life (and mine) even when I feel like life is out of control. Reading your blog reminds me that it is not about me or having control. It is about glorifing God and lifting up others is just one of the ways to accomplish just that. Thanks again for sharing.
Jennifer, I loved the post you linked to! I met her back in the fall, and she's as nice in person as she is on her blog.
Thank you for your honesty, too. I sometimes do the same thing, probably with the same motivation. With an infant, toddler, and 5 year old, I can honestly say that each of these stages so far has been wonderful AND hard. I guess it just depends on my attitude (and what kind of day we're having!) which one it is :)
I love reading your posts--always so encouraging! You are a dear one.
Thank you for that post and link. I needed to hear that today!!!
Love your blog!
It never ceases to amaze me that these naysayers tend to also call their own kids "monsters" or something similar. Makes me wonder what those kids could be if they were referred to as something good and wonderful.
Parenting is not always easy, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!!!
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