A year of college under their belts, each fittingly was in a different place for most of their day. Both Ryland & Parker are serving at residential Summer camps and had to report early for staff training. Kate is taking classes from home in pursuit of her EMT certification. This is the season of living their own adventures.
As is often true in life, just when we think we have a grasp on a phase, we are thrust into the next. In this case, learning to grow teens I suddenly found myself in the space of parenting young adults. A whole 5 days in, I am clearly no expert, but I did have a realization/observation I wanted to capture and share today.
From the moment a woman learns she is pregnant, protectiveness kicks in. Our instincts are to have our heads on a swivel for threats to our babies. As Mama Bears, we are constantly on guard. It seems as our children enter late adolescence/early adulthood and are no longer in our perpetual orbit, the focus shifts from external enemies to the threats lurking within.
A parent knows the way their offspring are wired and their historical struggles. If we allow anxiety to take those weaknesses (that we ALL have) and interpret them as a new more insidious threat it can lead to lots of relational conflict. Our worries and warnings will feel a lot more personal because they ARE.
The unfortunate irony is that unless we recognize and address this tendency, WE may become the very thing we fear--harmful to our kids and a threat to our long-term relationship.
I am very new to this chapter of parenting, but I am trying to recognize and submit my fears. I am praying constantly for wisdom on when to speak and when to zip it and let the Lord lead the lessons.
No comments:
Post a Comment