According to my calendar, tomorrow morning ends our crazy Covid induced 5-month break from school. The last time my children wore a backpack was in March. We had no idea when they left school on a Friday afternoon for Spring break it would extend through Summer. And now, as quickly as it all came to be, we are entering yet another phase.
So many aspects of life have changed since my people were last on campus, it is hard to keep track. For posterity, I wanted to record a few:
There is now a small bottle of hand sanitizer stashed in every car and bag.
There is a designated spot in my home for clean face masks.
We choose restaurants based on their outdoor dining options.
I finally quit Facebook for good.
Having enough toilet paper in our pantry is an actual consideration.
Online church is our norm.
My teens are driving, dating, and employed.
There is no 'next adventure trip' being planned.
The phrase, "I have no idea," now rolls easily off my tongue.
My world has gotten infinitely smaller and quieter.
I have watched the many societal fires of the last several months draw out anger, greed, and anxiety in many people (myself included.) Frankly, I have lost a bit of faith and trust in people in my extended circles and I really hate it.
I am praying for healing of these fractures--for patience, understanding, and grace.
Although I have truly tried to relish this season with my people--to thrive, not just survive-- we are all looking forward to a re-emergence of sorts tomorrow. I pray it is marked by faith, hope, wisdom, and health.
I plan to still stick close to home. (I can't believe I am not even driving them to school!) I hope to maintain some of the quietness, pondering, slower pace, and prayer which have become so vital to my mental and spiritual well being.
And as much as I don't want to admit it, I am afraid--not in a paralyzing way--but in a sober way that reminds me of my deep need for TRUST.
I was looking back through posts on this blog from years ago and almost didn't recognize that author. Her thoughts were clear and confident. She had a plan. She was so busy!
I struggled to recall if Covid alone has changed this, or if it has also been the slow sanctification of years of life combined with adolescent parenting. And even though there is much about this new normal to resent, I am beginning to realize this humbled, stripped-down posture of reliance is perhaps the greatest gift.
2 comments:
I also left facebook for good recently. And it has been surprisingly refreshing to be free of the voices of so much anger. I found myself disliking people I once loved, and felt it better to walk away than to continue to be disappointed in their compulsion to spew hate. Silence is a blessing, and I am still learning to dwell in it:-)
Yes, Kelly! I am unpacking so much about my pre-Covid need for everything to fit into boxes of productivity and busyness (even the busyness of being out and about and connected)!! Scaling back has opened my eyes to so much. Namely, with facebook, it has reminded me that life is better when core beliefs unfold at a natural pace within the context of relationship rather than a billboard style "I am for this and against that."
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