Today my girl & my man participated in their first adventure race together--and 8 hours later I think my heart may finally have recovered enough for me to write about it.
When they set out with their map and boundless enthusiasm it was sprinkling a little rain. An hour later when they completed the biking portion the sprinkles had become a steady drizzle.
I realized that these two are FAR more adventurous than the boys and me. R passed the time by playing in the rain with a friend. P scrounged through the car for Legos hidden under seats.
And as they approached the 90 minute mark and headed to the river for a two mile paddle, I decided they might be borderline crazy.
The race organizers stopped allowing participants in the river due to the deteriorating conditions--about 3 minutes after I took this photo of my two rounding a bend.
To say that my hour long wait for their return was a bit stressful is an understatement. When the emergency rescue boat stationed near the launch pulled out of the water because his boat was filling up with rain water, I felt panic start to creep in. I may or may not have sent out a text that resulted in a friend driving over to the race site to check on them/me.
Two of my most precious treasures were out in nasty conditions and I was helpless. They were out of sight, and even worse, they had no phone or radio with them since they had to traverse a swamp. I had no choice but to stand watch, wait and pray (in the pouring rain with a chatty son who was blissfully ignorant to my cause for concern.)
I didn't like it one bit.
I prefer the illusion of control I have most days thanks to the 'safe' little life we have built in small town Georgia.
When I finally got the text that they were safely out of the water, I felt a flood of relief mixed with frustration and anger. I confess that as I rushed to greet them at the finish line I struggled to congratulate them because I wanted to lecture them on how frightened I had been.
These two had just worked hard for over three hours...conquering challenges together, making memories, enjoying the journey. They were exhilarated and exhausted--but fear wanted to make the moment all about me.
Instead of celebrating what WAS I was battling a flood of what IFS. Thankfully, the Lord made it so clear to me in the moment so the thoughts could be held (mostly) captive and not spoil their moment.
And I groaned inside as I realized that this is going to repeat itself in my life as my children grow and take more risks.
Lord, help me trust You more with these people. Guard my thoughts and shut my mouth. Keep me ever mindful that you are the great I AM -- concerned with what IS and not what could have been. Help me abide in the present with YOU, not in a fictional future with my fears.
This morning was simply a microcosm of all the 'family adventure' this race of life is sure to hold before we cross the finish line.