I realized this week that one of my real challenges as a mother is going to be patience with the process of my little people growing up. I have absolutely no desire to rush them through childhood--and yet, when it comes to some of their emotional maturity issues my expectations are not age-appropriately realistic. I want their maturity without the process that leads them there. (It's not possible.)
K has turned a little girl corner where suddenly she seems aware of other people's perceptions of her. It is not yet a driving force, by any stretch of the imagination, but the fact that it is even starting to register on her radar screen is new to me.
She has begun to ask me what I think about something she puts on, making decisions about extracurricular activities with some consideration of what her friends are doing, and most alarming, 'trying on' new laughs.
Can I be completely frank? It is hard for me to be patient with it. I want her to be precocious, silly, wonderful, unique, sweet, funny, confident HER--free from the trappings of what anyone else happens to think.
I want her to be comfortable in her skin at 6--and never have to go through seasons of 'trying on' different versions.
I have been praying about all this and God has tenderly reminded me that it is a marathon, not a sprint. I didn't get to just jump from 6 year old thinking to 36 year old thinking--there were three decades of sanctification in between. While I can certainly pray for and with my sweet girl, model some of what God has shown me and guide and mentor her along the way, this is ultimately her journey. All the things my Mama heart wants to insulate and protect her from are the very things God will use as part of her story. It is not my role to bubble wrap her from the world as so much as it is to equip her for it.
Laying down my expectations and trusting God to guide us both through the process is my journey. One that will, no doubt, be used by God to continue to grow and mature me too.
You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. James 1:3-4 The Message
4 comments:
That's a mighty good word, J.
I laughed out loud at "and most alarming, 'trying on' new laughs." So funny! This post is great. I personally have the hardest time when my girls put on a fashion show. It is REALLY hard not to roll my eyes with some of the clothes and make up they put on. It's scary. :)
My heart broke a little when my five-year-old daughter put on a darling new dress, admired her reflection, then asked me, "Do you think Parker (our neighbor boy) will think it's pretty?" Ugh!
Oh, I so know what you mean, and how this can be a hard stage to go through. This new and different. But I also want to encourage you even in this. As I saw my daughter go through this, I have seen God use it for his glory. She is sensitive to what other's think, as she has matured and has experienced hurt, she is sensitive to include those who are left out, not to gossip, judge, or laugh at others. Although this "new" stage may certianately need guidance, a tender heart can definately be used for Him. May God use this sensitive spirit in her to bring others to Him.
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