It Starts Early

There are only two Kindergarten classes in our school. K is in one. My boys are in the other. One of K's classmates is a little boy who lives two doors down from us. This afternoon as we were riding bikes in the driveway she asked if we could ride down to H's house and ask him to play because "he is my best friend."

We agreed and went on a family bike/scooter ride down to H's house. All three of my little people were thrilled to have H come over to play. Unfortunately, the contest for his attention started from the moment of his arrival.

Even though H plays house with K at school sometimes, he found the invitation from R to play baseball and P to play in the tree house more appealing today. K moped and pouted over why he wouldn't do chalk drawings with her and play on the monkey bars. I tried to give her some ideas of things he may want to play while not getting too involved.

After 3-5 minutes of rumbling around in the garage, K came flying in the back door holding a rainbow chalk rake that we had received in duplicate this Summer and never opened. My husband and I helped her remove the packaging and get the chalk set. Just as she was rushing back outside she said, "THIS will get their attention."

My husband and I just looked at each other...It starts this early? Sure enough, it only took a couple of minutes for her to have all three boys vying for her attention so they could play with the toy. Soon enough they grew bored and took off for something more interesting/exciting. As I am typing this, I am looking out the window at the shiny new chalk rake, abandoned in my driveway.

They are in Kindergarten and facing normal sibling rivalry and competitiveness. I know it is just kid stuff--human nature really--that I should not over think. We all long to be included and chosen. Still, I am left thinking: ARRGGGH! How do I teach my children to avoid the cycle of getting swept up in the trappings of short attention spans when it comes to people and things?

I am certain this experience doesn't mean K is doomed to a life of clamoring for male attention. It could have just as easily been one of my sons in her position, jockeying for attention. Yet, largely because it was 'the girl,' the metaphor here is a painful reminder of how often we, as women, use ourselves or our 'stuff' to lure the attentions of men only to have them abandoned and cast aside when attention spans are short and something newer or more exciting comes along.

As woman heading towards middle age, I see it all the time--with the teen girls I work with, but also with unhappy women my age--clamoring to hold onto the only 'power' they have ever felt like they have had. May we work hard to raise young ladies who know their appearances and their stuff is not their power--and boys who desire to look for something more.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30 NIV