Love Tanks

Especially since the children have gone back to school, I have taken to asking them daily how their 'love tank' is doing. I first heard this phrase while reading Gary Chapman's book The Five Love Languages. My husband and I have used throughout our marriage as a somewhat lighthearted, non-threatening way to check in on how we are doing with connecting and meeting each other's needs.

Now that the children are old enough to start communicating on a deeper level, I love the idea of teaching them from a very early age to examine and advocate for what they need in their closest relationships (thereby learning to ask about/identify others' needs too).

My sensitive thinker, P, frequently says, "Mama, I need you to fill up my love tank a little bit more" when he is in the mood for snuggles.

This morning I asked them each how their love tanks were doing.
P: "It is really full, Mom, even bursting and overflowing. When that happens I keep the extra in my heart." (I told you he was a sensitive thinker!)
R: "That's 'cause your ha-wart IS ya-wa love tank, wight, Mom?"
M: "Yes, it is."
R "Well, mine is weally full today," he started to walk away then snapped his head back, scrunched up his nose and added, "but you can still love on me as much as you want."
K: "I know the kitties' love tanks are full when they purr!" K squealed as she skipped from the room.

As I look down the barrel at a Saturday full of activity as a surgery widow (my hubby is on call an at the hospitals all weekend) it can become easy to have a bit of a sense of dread...meals, activities, cleats, shin guards, hours at the soccer field, little to no me time to replenish my patience...it is easy to become self focused.

Then I think about those little faces that live in my home--and their love tanks--and it makes mine suddenly feel pretty full as well.