I don't ever want to be 'that Mom' that thinks her children are perfect. I want to rejoice in how fearfully and wonderfully made they are, but am ever mindful that they (like all people) are works in progress. At our recent parent teacher conference I found myself pointing out more things that needed improvement than what the teachers did. I think my kids are terrific. I am so proud of them, and yet I could easily rattle off my list of 'things we are working on.' Trying to balance the two can be emotionally and mentally exhausting.
As a mother, I think the 'list' is endless of all that we need to teach, instruct, influence and impart. There are basics like safety rules, nutritional guidelines, etiquette, health/hygiene all the way up to complex logical decision making, moral groundwork and deep spiritual truth. Whether it is life lessons learned the hard way, rules of decorum or proverbs and/or Bible stories there is always something to be taught. Multiply that by three all at the same age, and therefore not really reliable for teaching and modeling for one another in most cases and it becomes obvious why I seem to always be in training mode.
One minute we are discussing kindness and the next I am correcting belching at the table. It goes on and on and on.
Truly, the reason we have 18 years with children at home is to 'train them up,' but every now and then I catch myself on a somewhat overbearing streak. I get tired of hearing myself...but yet there seems there is still work to be done. I want to do well with the little lives God has entrusted to me--and yet I know the Biblical call not to exasperate them.
Last night I was thinking/praying about all this when I felt like God whispered to my heart,
"It is not your job to make them perfect."
Really? I mean, I know they won't be perfect in this life, but I want them to be the best they can be. I want to do well for you Lord.
"And you want others to think you did well," I was convicted.
Well, yes, that is part of it. But, this is my job... I countered in my little mental argument.
"No, perfecting them is not your job. It is Mine. Loving them and pointing them to Me is your job. I will do the rest."
It is a tightrope. There are plenty of practical things and rules for good citizenship that I will continue to emphasize--but a renewed perspective is a real gift. It is not up to me to write their story.
God, not me, is the Author and the Perfector... (See Hebrews 12:2)
As a mother, I think the 'list' is endless of all that we need to teach, instruct, influence and impart. There are basics like safety rules, nutritional guidelines, etiquette, health/hygiene all the way up to complex logical decision making, moral groundwork and deep spiritual truth. Whether it is life lessons learned the hard way, rules of decorum or proverbs and/or Bible stories there is always something to be taught. Multiply that by three all at the same age, and therefore not really reliable for teaching and modeling for one another in most cases and it becomes obvious why I seem to always be in training mode.
One minute we are discussing kindness and the next I am correcting belching at the table. It goes on and on and on.
Truly, the reason we have 18 years with children at home is to 'train them up,' but every now and then I catch myself on a somewhat overbearing streak. I get tired of hearing myself...but yet there seems there is still work to be done. I want to do well with the little lives God has entrusted to me--and yet I know the Biblical call not to exasperate them.
Last night I was thinking/praying about all this when I felt like God whispered to my heart,
"It is not your job to make them perfect."
Really? I mean, I know they won't be perfect in this life, but I want them to be the best they can be. I want to do well for you Lord.
"And you want others to think you did well," I was convicted.
Well, yes, that is part of it. But, this is my job... I countered in my little mental argument.
"No, perfecting them is not your job. It is Mine. Loving them and pointing them to Me is your job. I will do the rest."
It is a tightrope. There are plenty of practical things and rules for good citizenship that I will continue to emphasize--but a renewed perspective is a real gift. It is not up to me to write their story.
God, not me, is the Author and the Perfector... (See Hebrews 12:2)
15 comments:
Thanks for this. I've been reading your blog for a few years (have never commented before), and I have enjoyed reading your perspective. I have 7 children, ages 20 down to 3 months and can identify with much of what your write. I had a bad day today with my 2 daughters, and I needed to be reminded of this. Thanks.
Ah such wisdom and wonderful words. Perspective I needed! Often I find myself wondering what others think of my parenting, or what they think of my son and daughter. But, what a wonderful reminder that it's me before the Lord not others and it's His job to Perfect their faith not mine.
Thanks!
Oh wow..this is so great.
I struggle with this too. It is so much pressure, and God just set me free through your blog.
It is endless-the training, teaching, praying for so many things for our kids. I've always prayed that God will fill in the gaps where I fail and drop the ball. I know He is trustworthy to create a pure heart in each of our kids.
Thanks for this today.
I found myself nodding the whole way through. I can SO relate. Several years ago I was so frustrated by all the things you described in your post when God graciously gave me a mental picture. It was a picture of a very long necked bottle with a big base at the bottom. When water was being poured into the bottle at a fast pace, nothing really was going in...or very little was. But when the water was poured in at a slower pace, like a single steady stream, then the water flowed in with ease. All that to say, I needed to relax and trust that God would give me the time and life experiences with my children to be able to train them in the way they should go.
Thank you. I needed that.
YES -- Great reminder!!! THANKS!!!
Thank you for sharing. I am very much convicted right now. I will post a link to this post on my blog.
Thank you for listening and sharing. This is a lesson that I needed to hear. When I really soak in those words, they relieve the unnecessary pressure I often put on myself. His yoke is easy. So why do I always pick up my own?!
This is so true, but hard for mommys to remember. Thanks for the reminder!
This brings to mind the prayer of a friend of mine - "Lord, straighten what I have made crooked." And I love it!
um.
ouch.
and thanks.
The Holy Spirit can really hit us hard sometimes. Thankfully you heard him loud and clear! Pointing them to the cross and praying for their soul is the most important...
Thanks for sharing this!
I have to remind myself of this quite often....esp when chores are not done, but all the computer games are....
Jmom, ditto what the Bouldins said. As always you have such a way of sharing. I'd like to post a link to this from my FB page for all my other mom friends to see. Do you mind? I won't post until I see your okay. Thanks, -G
GE- I am always fine with links being shared. Thanks for asking! :-)
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