Yes, I blog about our family. I put it out there. Still, I am discerning about what I choose to share with the world wide web. I am still somewhat amazed at the audacity some people have in asking me very personal questions about the conception of my children.
I am a fairly open book, so sometimes it surprises even me how offensive, intrusive and inappropriate the questions can feel. I know that the vast majority are based solely in a person's curiosity and yet it can feel judgmental, embarrassing and like I am being put on the spot.
Most questions reflect little concern for my feelings or those of my children--but are just because they wanted to know. Your curiosity is not an adequate excuse for making someone else feel odd.
Some questions may seem innocent enough, but I would rather my 6 year olds not have to try and figure out what these things mean or why they matter:
"Are they natural?"
"Are they real?" or
"Did you have to take drugs?"
When the questioner is going through their own fertility struggle or has been through the valley of infertility, I am generally more understanding of their desire to connect. But the other questions, depending on my mood, usually just seem unnecessary. If you don't know someone very well, it is generally not advisable to ask them intimate questions regarding the conception of their children.
While we are on the subject, please also try to avoid saying things like:
"Better you than me." or
"I'd kill myself."
Unfortunately, both of these comments have been made on more than one occasion.
The proper response is always one of support, encouragement and blessing.
I can only imagine what it feels like to have other more unusual outward markers that announce to the world that you have a story. Ivey's Mama wrote a very thought-provoking and enlightening post about this very subject recently. Check it out for the perspective of a Mom of a child with special needs.