I have been through the seemingly premature loss of a friend before. Yet, I cannot remember my perspective being as shifted as it feels now. Maybe I just don't remember, as, mercifully, it has been a while.
The world looks different now. I feel like my outlook on what truly matters and what is insignificant has been brought into clearer focus. I feel like life is moving at a slower pace. (Which, of course, means I am feeling a bit behind.)
I still need to pay bills, do taxes, grocery shopping and laundry, of course. But, it seems to be less pressing. I realized today I had no clue what my children would wear this Sunday for Easter--and it was not a big deal. The pile of unpacked luggage on my floor from last week's beach trip isn't causing nearly the anxiety it would have a week ago. I feel like I am exceedingly more tender with my husband--and much more patient with my children. (Here's hoping those two improvements are here to stay!)
I am mindful that, really, relationships are what matter. Treating the people around you with respect, kindness and care is at the core of what God has called us to do. Investing in the lives of other people in a meaningful, authentic way is important. Hiding God's Word in my heart so that I might call upon it when my own words and wisdom fail me is essential. These aren't Pharisetical rules for living...abiding in Christ is key to living an abundant life.
The sun is out. I have caught up on my lack of sleep. Cabell is walking through this grief process with all the grace and faith I have come to expect. Slowly, the healing process has begun. Tomorrow is the first of April. Life is moving forward.
And yet, I am moving forward differently. I believe this modified way is more in line with the way God wants my life to look. (It goes without saying there is still much lacking...I am still a sinner in desperate need of His grace.)
Already God is using this experience. For that I am grateful.
11 comments:
Amazing.........His grace to us.
Beautiful post. Keeping all of you in our prayers!
I have been thinking and praying for you guys.
Jmom,
Praying for you & your family in this time of grief. You said it well on Sweeney's page~ they are well loved because they have loved well.(boy I just paraphrased!) ~ but my prayer is that we can ALL say that some day.
Thank you as always for your honesty, vulnerability and incredible way you share. You truly are gifted with writing. With my girls being just a year younger than yours you never cease to inspire me to strive to be a better mom. So to that end, if you think about it please pray I can reach for that goal. God Bless, -Gail
Late last year a friend lost their three year old son in an accident. Things have not been the same for me since. God has opened my eyes to so many truths that I already knew, but in a much deeper way. I hope I come to see them even MORE clearly!
My husbands cousin died at 18. That was 4 years ago now. It still affects how we interact with his family and with each other. You said you hope those improvements are here to stay. I think they will.
Five years ago I began *moving forward differently*. I will never be the same, but part of that is good. Still remembering your family and Sweeneys.
I love what you said about your husband in a previous post. It is so God honoring to honor our husbands. I love that you do.
Hi! My name is Allyson Fralish. I am a friend of Mike and Cabell's from Alpharetta. Mike was actually my boss when I was on Young Life staff. I just wanted to say Thank you so much for being such good friends to them. Thank you for being with Cabell as she goes through the grieving process. I wish I could be in Rome to hug her whenever she needed a hug. I am glad to know that she has great friends like you to support her and be there for her.
Thanks!
Allyson Fralish
I'm so sorry about the loss of your friend. I've been following your blog and read about him sending you and your family to Disney World. What an amazing man he was! Just know that he is looking over you now. Obviously he thought very highly of you and your family, so you made his time here on Earth much better!
Thanks so much for all the kind thoughts and prayers. Just to be clear, it was actually a different very kind cancer patient who provided the trip. Thankfully, he is doing well now.
Your post and wise words are EXACTLY what I needed to read today! I have been sour with my kids and not nearly loving enough to my husband this week. The enemy was attacking with trivial challenges, and I was falling prey to self-pity. God has blessed me in countless ways. I often turn to your blog when I realize I need to "snap out of it." Your wise words do the trick!
I'm so sorry about your loss! What a wonderful friend you are. May God's grace and strength fill you up during this difficult time for you. Prayers for you!
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