P's Repentance

Today I had a lunch meeting at the Children's Home. During the meeting I received a text message regarding one of my children and their behavior. Apparently my little DJ's love of music making with his mouth was causing distraction for his fellow students. His teacher asked him to stop, but P persisted. Eventually his lack of self control led him to some time in the thinking chair. 

Once P rejoined the group he apparently thought it would be entertaining to mimic his teacher. Understandably, she did not care for this trick. Her frustration led to a text message to me (mid-meeting).

Ironically, just as I stepped out to respond to her text I received a phone call from K's teacher that she was complaining of a tummy ache. I excused myself from the meeting (that I had called and was supposed to be running) and went to the school.

I saw K's teacher first and she assured me K was resting and OK. I bee-lined it back to P's teacher and got the whole story from her before asking to speak with P. 

When he looked up and saw me standing at the doorway to his classroom, midday and unexpected, his expression betrayed his fear of the perceived gravity (or potential discipline) of the situation. Those big brown eyes were wide, nervous and sad as I took his hand. He did not say a word as we walked into the front lobby of the school and I sat on a bench at his eye level. He stood before me and I clasped both his hands.

"Do you know why I am here, son?"

He slowly shook his head up and down--eyes locked on mine.

"Do you want to tell me what happened this morning?

He changed directions and began to slowly shake his head left and right--breaking his stare into my eyes to look down at the floor in shame.

I told him what I had heard about the events of the day. I explained that although he was trying to be funny it was very disrespectful. I encouraged him to go and apologize to Ms. D.

We walked silently back down the hall together--holding hands. He mumbled his way through an apology then walked back to the front lobby with me silently. I knelt down and said "How does your heart feel, P?"

His little lip started quivering as he squeaked out the word, "Sad."

It was like a little dagger to my heart.

I could sense that he knew this was trouble. I have never had to come to the school over a behavior problem before. I could also tell that his intent had not been malicious and this lesson had made a real impact on him. He was ashamed.

 

"Hey, buddy, you made some bad choices this morning, but you have done your best to make it right. You have asked for forgiveness. This is done. You go back to class and behave with respect and obedience this afternoon, OK?"

He shook his head affirmatively and I added, "I love you. There is nothing you could ever do to make me love you any less, remember?"

At that reminder my boy wrapped himself completely around me and sobbed tender tears of love and relief. All of my frustration faded away and was replaced by absolute love for my boy.

And like so many other experiences as a parent, I couldn't help but be reminded of my Father in Heaven. It felt like a small glimpse of how God feels when one of His children is truly repentant for sinful choices. I was so proud of P for facing the music with courage and honesty. He made no effort to deny what he'd done. I was embarrassed about his behavior, disappointed in his choices, but tenderized by the work I was watching take place in his heart.

What effected me most, however, was P's sweet relief that our relationship was intact after it was all said and done. The truth is, I felt closer to him than before. 

Forgiveness and unconditional love are such beautiful gifts! Thank you, Father, for modeling a love for us that is so clearly beyond ourselves.

"We love because He first loved us."

I John 4:19