Monday, December 28, 2009

Thank You Notes

I am a Southern girl and I appreciate the power of a handwritten thank you note. I must admit motherhood has made me much less conscientious than I used to be about writing them myself. I believe it is important for my children to learn to do so, but have struggled to make it anything less than a somewhat painful experience.

Because I have three beginning reader/writers, our past attempts have been excruciating. I think their birthday thank yous back in May took 5 hours over the course of a week...and lots of tears. Even with fill in the blank cards I had to spell every word, help them remember what they received and prompt them to describe why they liked a particular gift.

This morning we tried again with a relatively simple strategy that worked so well I thought I would share. First we designed our card. Through a google search I found many free printable options, but it was really faster to just make our own in Word. (I am not a graphic designer. These were very simple.)

I printed them 4 to a page and we cut them out. I intended to use card stock but realized I was out once we were too far in to quit--so regular copy paper was used.

The next step was to type a separate word document with everything they would need to write. This alleviated my need to stand over them and spell everything as they went. This was a great exercise because we got to talk about each gift they had received and 'attach' it to the giver. I also asked them to tell me what they liked best about each gift. Their responses were typed in the same order the blanks appeared on our fill in cards.
All our preparation allowed for a fairly independent activity that got them reading and writing while practicing good etiquette. Because this took a little over an hour, I only asked them to each write five notes today. I am hopeful to repeat this tomorrow and the next day until we have completed our list.

It was not without tears. My P has perfectionist tendencies and any misplaced mark thoroughly distressed him. It is so interesting to me, because it is not a matter of being unable to do it. His penmanship is beautiful. He gets hung up in wanting to do things excellently. (This extends into other areas and is a challenging thing to manage.)

I believe in finishing what you start, so he spent about 20 additional minutes working on his five. I did my best to encourage his desire for good work, but affirm that he was doing so well it was OK if it wasn't perfect. Whew! (How do you homeschooling Mamas do it??)

If anyone has any other ideas/tips for making this exercise more enjoyable please post!

13 comments:

Danielle said...

Thank you! I have been dreading the thank you notes for all the same reasons. It has been so long and painful in the past I did not even know how to approach it - and now I am really looking forward to it. I think I'll make our "card" right now!!!

laurie said...

I was in the same mode today, but decided we needed to send thank yous for the gifts they got when Lucy was born before we tackle Christmas. It was painful for M, also my perfectionist. I will definitely be using this idea for Christmas stuff--and you say you aren't creative. . .

Bailey's Leaf said...

I think your ideas are great. Because of the Christmas stomach flu K- suffered from, we're still celebrating our rescheduled Christmas! Your suggestions have been wonderful.

You see, my K- wrote out each and every one of her class Christmas cards by herself. At the beginning of the year, her teacher made a spiral bound book for each child called From Andrew to Zach. There is a picture of each child and the "My name is . . . " underneath each one. She sat with this book and wrote each card out personally.

I am a big believer in hand written thank you's. I'll e-mail to allow people to know that mailed gifts arrived, but will let them know that a more proper thank you will follow.

My daughter is so used to the thank you's that she'll say, "Did we send a thank you?!"

Thanks for the suggestion of the type written pages. That will make my life easier.

MamaBear said...

While I. Was already making trips to the photostore during the holidays I had photo thank you card printed. I designed a card in photoshop that was 4x8 and left the right side blank so I had room to write a short personal note. It was a very small space so I don't feel bad for not writing a ton. The cards read "thank you beary much" and feature a cute picture of our family with the kids in their costumes. You can't beat the price of photocards and they come with envelopes! I have the kids color on the envelope so they are involved in the process and we can talk about being thankful. Your idea sounds great for when my kids are writing more than a few words!

Tara said...

This is on our list this week. I have found with my girls that they like having a "thank-you note binder." We keep pretty paper (some with lines for my 5-yr-old), stickers, envolopes and labels. They have even decorated a cover for the binder. My oldest can do her notes by herself, but like you I have not found a better way than to write down what my 5-yr-old is to write. It's still not painless, but they don't complain quite as much with the binder.

Sarah said...

I've never commented on your blog before but have been reading for some time now..I just love reading about you and your family! As a Southern girl and a Kindergarten teacher, I love that you and your children are writing your thank you notes together! I wish all of my students were doing that at home! What a wonderful life lesson and a great way to get some writing in over the break!

Nikki said...

I've heard of moms who do not allow their children to play with a gift until after the thank you note has been written. While I can't bring myself to do that, I do believe in a good thank you note!

We sit down with our list and write a few at a time together. I think when my children see me writing my own notes (with my special notecards, and talking about the time/thought that each giver put into selecting a gift, etc.) they start to appreciate their gifts even more.

Happy New Year!

Mindy said...

I LOVE those! And being a southern girl -- I love getting and sending thank you notes...Right now I have a stack a mile long to write myself.

I've not made my kids do it too often though -- I need to! These look great!
in HIM -
Mindy

storey said...

i have heard of doing photo thank yous but the photo on the card is the child/children with the specific gift you're thanking the respective person for. Would just take more time while opening presents or a little after to take those pictures, but more personal...

MLS said...

Being a Kindergarten teacher, I applaud you! You are always so intentional about teaching your children in each moment, but this is a great way to encourage children in their thankfulness AND academics! I appreciate your blog very much.
Lauren
Atlanta, Ga.

Felicia said...

I am homeschooling my 5 year old this year because of the whole new diabetes diagnosis right before school started this year. (I digress..but he probably will go back next year..anyway) He is SO type A and perfectionistic...but I am too. So, it is very hard to homeschool him without tears but at least I know how he feels so it really helps me help him through it. But, yes you are right! Homeschooling is hard! Also because of your earlier post too about our attitudes wearing thin. Next week when we start back I am going to take your advice of prayer and walking away more often! Thank you for the simple easy reminder! :) Happy New Year!

Peter and Nancy said...

Our favorite bookstore has some Christmas thank-yous like the ones you made -- with blanks for names, the gift, etc. This works so much better for my kids, but still lets them have the thank-you not experience. It is always still painful, as my two oldest are boys (although if I let them put Star Wars stickers on, it's more fun). They would NOT be swayed by pretty paper!

Also, I'm a Northerner . . . just had to get in a good word for the thank-you writers up north!

Nancy

Jennifer said...

Sorry, Nancy! Did not mean to discriminate against the Yankees. :-)Happy New Year!!