I have a 72 year old friend who keeps me in stitches. Patti is very spry and healthy with a sharp, entertaining wit. My children adore her. Although she is a refined Southern lady who by all rules of decorum should certainly be referred to as Mrs. LastName, my trio prefers to call her PattiCake. And she loves it.
She was in my home a couple of days ago while my children were at school. I was talking with her about a couple of my recent parenting challenges and she said something that has stuck with me.
"I will tell you what my husband's grandmother always used to say when I would be going on and on about what the children were or were not doing. She'd say,'Well you know, they have only been in this world 5 years.' Think about it. Just five years. That is really no time at all in the grand scheme of things.'"
I cannot tell you how many times I have repeated that to myself this week.
If there is anything the Montessori method of education has taught me it is that children are often capable of much more than we give them credit for. I have definitely found this to be true academically. But maturity-wise, although I want to believe the best, it is true that they have only been in this world 5 years. I need to have realistic expectations.
Making this minor adjustment has made a major difference.
Thank you, Patticake, for a simple word of wisdom that has restored some perspective to this Mama.
6 comments:
It always helped me to see my children through the eyes of their grandparents because they seemed to be able to apply the grace that I might not have at any given moment.
I recently reminded my husband that, as mature as our 18 year old son is in most respects, we still cannot expect him to react to things like a 43 year old man. Even as they are getting ready to leave home, they don't always have the maturity to make the best decisions.
I enjoyed this post a great deal.
Patticake, I love it. I have some wonderful older (much older) friends too and I love it. My grandparents are gone, so I love to soak up the wisdom and perspective they have.
I am going to remind myself of this bit of wisdom too!
No comments allowed for your birthday post...I sure hope it was a wonderful day. Thank you for the cheer and inspiration your posts add to my days. May year 36 be full of blessings!
I just wanted to wish you A HAPPY BIRTHDAY , since I couldnt leave a comment yesterday..
Our children are about the same age. Your posts resonate with me in meaningful ways.
It is soo true that they just don't know everything yet. Recently while out with a group of ladies & daughters for lunch then a theater date, my daughter picked up the salt shaker...looked at it, then licked the top! I was DEVASTATED. In a gasp, I told her, "could you act like we've been out in public before!!"
And as I was beating myself up for how awful this was...and how I must look as a parent...I thought....honestly, she was shaking salt on a chip and thought...oh, I'll lick off what stayed. And of course, germs and what have you...I don't want her doing that, nor do I want her to think it is okay socially....
But it wasn't the end of the world...and it wasn't a reflection of me...and if it was for another Mommy....then she can just wait for her own epiphany moment!
I'll take this sage advice today. How true.
Kristi in Tx
Great wonderful wisdom - even as they get older, and seem so mature as they are exposed to so many things earlier than even we were, it is easy to forget that they are still only....fill in the age. My 11 y-o sometimes acts like a 21 y-o in her wisdom and perception of life and reality. Then she may have a crying breakdown, and I have to say to myself - what were you like at 11 - she's just still a child. Thanks for sharing a wise insight!
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