I am frequently asked how I have time to post to the blog every evening. The truth is, it is such a habit that when I do not I have trouble falling asleep because of the many thoughts swirling through my brain with nowhere to "go." Writing is a release for me. It often helps me make sense of the events of my day.
I did not write last night because it was 9:20 by the time I returned home from Bible Study--and it had been a marathon day. I settled in on the sofa next to my husband and watched an episode of Intervention. I typically enjoy this show. Some find it depressing, but I love the final 10 minutes when the subject of the show is shown with their new (often addiction free) leash on life. It really is a dramatic picture of the human condition, pursuit, rescue and redemption. Last night's episode did not have a happy ending. It was gut wrenching.
The plot centered on an alcoholic father who professed his love for his children, yet continually chose to feed his addiction rather than show up for his family. His wife who truly loved him asked him to leave. At the intervention his two children begged him to seek treatment. He refused. They pleaded. It was so painful to watch...and it was hard because from the outside looking in, I could see the anguish on his wife's face and the devastation and heartbreak in his children's tear-filled eyes.
His addiction blinded him to the consequences of his actions. In his mind it was 'his business.' He could not see the path of complete devastation in his wake. I won't tell you how it ended, just in case you catch a rerun.
The thing is, I could not help but be reminded of the way this works itself out in my life. The truth is that I have an addiction too. My addiction is not alcohol. It is self. I am addicted to my comfort, my safety, my image, my wants, my agenda.
And no man can serve two masters. I cannot worship myself and my God. I must choose. All day, every day, I must chose. Left unto myself I will choose badly.
I just picked up a copy of a very small, very powerful, very readable book called The Cross Centered Life. The message is simple: Get back to the basics--the pure, unadulterated 'main thing' of life--the Gospel. Live like you mean it.
I want to. And life will, hopefully, look a little different. I already feel more joy. I feel lighter, because I am realizing how much 'small stuff' there is in this world. I have hope because this is not my home. I have a purpose because there are so many without this hope and I can share it with them.
May I be able to one day look back and say honestly, like Paul, "I didn't try to impress you with polished speeches and the latest philosophy. I deliberately kept it plain and simple: first Jesus and who he is; then Jesus and what he did—Jesus crucified." I Corinthians 1:1-2 (The Message)
6 comments:
I am the same way. People ask me all the time how I find time to blog. For me, it is my therapy. I talk about my day, brag about my kids and remember the highlights of sometimes very hard days.
I love reading your blog as you always find the good in life and always seek a lesson from God. They are not always easy to find and you have a gift in seeing them in the "everyday."
I have to tell you that I watched the video from your "55 minutes" post last Thursday and talked for a long time about it with my husband. He has been with Hospice at home, and we had to move him to a Hospice Hospital this weekend. He passed away yesterday. Thank you for your post which allowed us to have a very precious conversation. God's word does not return void without accomplishing what it was sent to do. Your blog has much purpose.
Off subject, but I saw your beautiful k on the big tron
tonight at the local game introducing are you smarter than.
What a cutie and your writing style while quoting her seems spot on. Hope y'all have a great VBS week!
first, I am sorry for K & C's mom's loss :(
Second, I've seen that episode..it must have been a rerun. I remember having it still on my mind the following day :(
Third, I think what you said about addiction to "self" is what type a personalities often struggle with. I do. I read tonight..if everything is important, then nothing is important. That is so me. I am glued to my daily list of tasks and schedule, etc. I so often lose the big picture. Thanks for sharing.
Wow! I saw the Intervention episode also and sobbed like a baby. It was truly one of the saddest ones that I have ever seen. I love reading your blog and find so much joy and inspiration in the lessons you are learning and the stories you are sharing!
Thanks for your words in this post. As the wife of an alcholic who doesn't get it, I am glad I didn't watch intervention, but do pray each day for God's intervention in our life at every juncture. I so enjoy your uplifting words, and too seek to live a Cross-Centered Life. We will struggle, but we will one day succeed - and see our savior. Again, thank you.
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