Maybe it is because I am out of my normal routine and spending time in different places, but as I have been at the pool, outside day camps, waiting for pick up with different Moms I have found the same conversation repeating itself between Moms (or dare I admit, in my head):
Who is that?
That is so-and-so. Her kids are...her husband is...she hangs out with...She...
And suddenly a person's story is boiled down to a few sentences. Sometimes neutral. Sometimes flattering. Sometimes judgemental.
I understand the importance of making connections. I like putting together why I might recognize someone. It is normal and natural to look for commonalities. What makes my skin crawl is when people get put in boxes based on who they are friends with...or a bad choice they may have made. And I do it, too!
The hardest part for me is people who are in the midst of really bad situations that could be viewed as things 'they have brought upon themselves.' There is a Pharisee in me that wants to keep them at arms distance as a way to express my disapproval for their sin. I will pray for them from afar, but getting down in the muck with them (especially when they don't seem repentant) is challenging.
This is not Biblical! Jesus Christ himself dined with sinners. He did not approve, but He loved them. Even though I profess to believe that a sin is a sin is a sin, even though I want grace not judgment when it comes to my own stuff, I have to put the disapproving finger waving Pharisee in me before the cross ALL THE TIME. I also have to confess, repent and pray against my concern for what other people might think. Will they perceive that I approve of those choices she made? AGH!
I believe there IS black and white according to Scripture. I am not advocating watering truth down. I am speaking more to how we interact with people we do not know well, but whose reputation precedes them.
Loving well is really hard for me. Walking in grace, love and truth is a tightrope. I am so glad I have Jesus to lead me. Some days I fall right off the rope. I want to go build an island where there are no messy people to love--but I would still be there--and I am messy.
We are called to be in this world as salt and light and beacons of love and mercy that point to the cross. And no one ever said that was easy or comfortable.
He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To do justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with our God. Micah 6:8
6 comments:
you want to know what's really ugly? i found myself reading this and wondering who you were talking about. yuck. great post.
M-she's talking about you! ...teasing!
Jmom- Good post but a very sticky subject, if you will. Be careful because some people might be repentant even if it doesn't look that way outwardly to everyone...escpecially if you are not that close to that person. (just a thought) I agree, we are all too judgemental and especially in the town that we live in! I too struggle with what people think or associate ME with, but I have to get over that and pray about that. One of my friends recently said in a blog that "he cannot walk on water, but is redeemed by the one that can." So very true. We have to remember that it is up to God to be judgemental and not us. It's just not our place, however hard it may be to not do it.
Very thought provoking post! (oh, I wish I could still be in BStudy with you and talk about these things out loud! :) )
E
Great point, E. Only God can judge the heart.
And M, it is no one in particular. we all have our junk!
I love that...*I cannot walk on water, but I am redeemed by the ONE who has!!!* This was a very good post Jen. I too fall prey to those thoughts and often get pulled in to situations I shouldn't be in. And, shamefully, I am sometimes the one pulling others in. Thank you for reminding us we are all human and for keeping me on my toes.
UGGHH, I prayed for this just this morning--for my heart to be like that of Jesus'...to love despite faults. Love the sinner, not the sin I suppose.
Just discovered this blog, but want to say that I like this post. In His Koran God tells us not to judge, but instead to leave the judging to Him for He is the best of judges. I try to remember this, but it can be difficult!
Post a Comment