Thursday, April 23, 2009

Waiting

My husband has been at a conference in Arizona since Monday. Four days away combined with the three days of call immediately before has made for a long week. I am ready for him to come home.

His plane landed 2 hours ago, but he spent an hour on the tarmac waiting for a terrible thunderstorm to pass...and it will probably be 11 before he makes it home.

Have I mentioned that I am ready to see his face?

Some friends and I were discussing our mental need for a 'finish line' recently. We decided that the reason we often get frustrated during the bedtime routine is that we have mentally prepared ourself to make it to 8pm. When rowdiness or energy abundance extends bedtime it is akin to running a marathon only to reach the 26th mile and notice they've moved the finish line another mile further out. Does anyone else feel that way?

The snappiness happens because my 'Self' cries out...This is MY TIME...I have clocked out! Then my Mommy Guilt comes in and lectures my 'Self.' It doesn't take long for my Long Range Planning Mommy to tap me on the shoulder and remind me that children need structure and rules and consistent bedtime...stand strong. Suddenly all these parts are competing and I become Inconsistent Mommy--offering grace here, discipline there...

Everyone eventually tuckers out. Then I go brew a hot cup of tea and escape to blogging to try to make sense of it all.

I love a general surgeon...but I need a psychiatrist. :-)

11 comments:

Colored With Memories said...

i'm with ya...tonight at least. i don't have to do the bedtime routine alone as often as you do i'm sure, but daddy is out to a NBA playoff game tonight...

whew! i'm tired! i just need daddy's extra set of hands!

enjoy reuniting with your hubby!

Kate said...

It's really too bad that our "other personalities" don't come with a fresh serving of patience. Well, mine don't, anyway. Here's hoping your dear husband is home quickly!

Courtney said...

I can TOTALLY relate!!! It's always like that at nap and bedtime at my house...

Christi said...

Sweetie, don't we all! :-)

elizabeth said...

So true. I have never really thought about it that way, but I think you and your friend are right. It's usually stressful around myself too and it's mainly because of my selfish attitude, not because my kid innocently asked for another drink of water. Glad I'm not in the boat alone on this one.

ps-I'd take the general surgeon..a psychiatrist would just get on my nerves trying to "fix" me all the time! :)

Marva said...

Thank you Jmom! I so needed to hear this and have someone that relates we me. I just linked to this post. Thank you again and your children are so blessed to have you for a Mom! Blessings!

Mickie McGee said...

You deserved a cup of hot tea. You are awfully hard on yourself and, from what I can tell, you are a stellar mother, wife, daughter, and friend. You are a deep thinker, as am I, but deep thinking will often wear you out emotionally and physically....probably spiritually, too.
As my son so aptly said, "Mama, we can't run away from our own thoughts," but we can slow down so we don't fall so hard when they catch us!
Keep at it! You've got what it takes. :o)

smcvicker said...

I am so like this and I don't have small children. I just love the 30min.-1hr. to myself before I go to bed! It helps me wind down.

Liesl said...

This is so true. I too look forward to the 8:00 bell for "me" time. And when it's 8:10 and we're still finishing bedtime routine, I tend to get grumpy. So hard to balance, isn't it.

Rachel said...

Hi, I found your site from BooMama... I so resonate with this post... The marathon analogy is perfect. So often I have to remind myself that there are countless women who would give anything to pull an all-nighter with a child.

My favorite thing about blogging is finding people with whom I can identify. Being a stay at home mom can be a lonely calling at times, and it helps to have this strange pseudo community. Better than no community at all, right?

Felicia said...

oh, thank you. I SO needed this post today...I tried to explain this to my husband but he didn't get it I don't think! I am going to try to get him to read your post so he will "get" me and how sometimes when you're home alone with the kids and bedtime doesn't go as planned it can just become the roughest part of the day..mostly because you feel guilty for just wanting "me" time. :)