When we bought our car 4 year ago, I purposefully resisted getting a DVD player installed because I wanted conversation rather than kids that were 'plugged in.' Last Christmas we decided it was time for a portable DVD player--with restrictions. The children are only allowed to watch it when we are in the car for an hour or longer. It has proven to be a handy investment(although I now wish we had gotten the installed version and just exercised self control on usage because the portable can be a bit of a pain to keep steady on the console!)
Nevertheless, the conversations with my children in the car tend to be the most revealing of what is going on in their little hearts and minds.
Yesterday afternoon we passed a cemetery near our home and saw green tents set up and a graveside service being conducted.
"Look, Mom! They are having a festival!"
I couldn't help but giggle. A funeral is a bit like a festival for a believer.
I explained to the children that it was called a funeral. Then the questions came at me rapid fire.
"Why are they there? What are they doing? Who died? Was she really old? What happened to her? Why do people go to a funeral? How do they get the box in the ground? What do they do to cover up the hole?"
As I attempted to answer the questions I explained that people go to say goodbye and remember the person they loved because they won't see them again until heaven--and that might be a while.
R's eyes lit up as he said, "But then when they die they will get to heaven and say, 'Hi! I missed you!"
P added excitedly, "And they will sing and dance and play and eat lots of CHIPS!!!!"
This morning's conversation was a little more difficult for me. The children were all talking about how many children they want to have. R said 9. P said 11. K said 1. I was really just listening, not adding much until K said, "Mama, do you wanna know why I only want one?"
"Yes, babe, why?"
"Because I don't want to get so sick and almost die like you did."
I felt kicked in the gut. I strive to be open and honest with my children--but I also try to protect them from information that is too adult. I rarely share my testimony in front of them. I didn't even realize they fully understood the severity of my illness.
I spent the next minute explaining that my illness was really rare and almost never happens to Mommies--and God healed my heart.
Then she asked, "Whose house would we have lived in if you had died?"
I really felt sick then. Was it an honest question--or has my little girl been worried about all this? Yuck!
I explained that they would have kept living with Daddy...but that she really didn't have to worry. God worked it all out.
But I just can't stop thinking about that little head and heart!
7 comments:
Amazing that their little minds are like sponges......makes me want to ask them more questions, so I'll know what's going on in their little hearts! Merry Christmas!
Wow! and just last night my 4 year old daughter and I were lying in the bed, praying and talking and she said she didn't want to have any babies b/c she didn't want her stomach to be cut open (I have had 3 c-sections) - that's nothing compared to your story!
Wow, it always amazes me the things that 4 yr old children come up with. My Grandma passed away this summer. My kids were there for the whole experience of the funeral- open casket and all. I was so nervous about everything but they did great. We still get a lot of questions about death and heaven and GG Del. One night K asked me if only old people die. It kicked me in the gut too. I then tried to explain that people die at all ages. Then he got sad and told me that he would really miss me if I died. Conversations like this are hard. They are so innocent but they really starting to "get it" all the time now. It amazes me.
K made tears come to my eyes. What a tender heart and a smart little girl. They are such little sponges and we forget that and then some things go right over thier heads. I am worried about my grandchildren going to the nursing home and seeing the condition of some of the people in there. I always brought my mother up front and i hope I can get my mother in law up front so that they don't have to go down the halls. They are old enough for those "pictures" to stay in their heads...I will pray for K...she is so precious just as your boys are... blessings on your Christmas celebration...
That is hard to hear. It really does break your heart.
My kids experienced first their parents' divorce and then their father's remarriage and subsequent divorce. When Jeff and I told them we were getting married, Nathan asked, "Where will we live when you guys get divorced?" It broke my heart that they had learned that divorce follows marriage. At the same time, it gave me an opportunity to address that idea of his.
Much the same with K's comment and questions. And you've embued your life and theirs with such faith that you can honestly tell them that you and they can all trust yourselves in God's hands and He'll take care of things as He best sees fit.
Oh yeah, the things they say! And know! I once heard Dr. James Dobson say, "Children are far more perceptive than we as adults give them credit for." I wish we all could remember this & guard our mouths around our little ones. I know there are things said in my household, that I just wish I could change.
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