Smarty Pants

Me: (asking the type of rhetorical question Moms are famous for) "K, how many times have I asked you to come in here and get dressed?"

K: "Five."

Me: "Then why didn't you come?"

K: "I didn't hear you."

Me: Biting tongue.

K: "It is not about me, Mama. It is that sneaky snake telling me to do bad stuff."

P: "Mom, when will we die?"

M: "I don't know, son, but I hope it is a long time from now when we are very old."

P: "Oh."

M: "What made you think about that?"

P: "My brain."