Working It Out

I accepted Christ as a 13 year old. The 21 years since then have included seasons of growth, backsliding, confusion, certainty, hypocrisy, service, slothfulness, fruit, faith, doubt, zealousness, timidity, boldness, political correctness, peaks, plateaus, valleys and everything in between. I have never strayed ridiculously from the fold (by the world's standards of 'big sins' anyway), but there have certainly been times when I have made decisions to try life on my own for a while. I have basically attempted to plug my ears from hearing God's voice, or I have simply gotten so busy that there was too much noise crowding out that "still, small voice." There have been long, dry seasons where the Word of God has felt flat and far removed from my heart and life. I have not always been 'good soil.'

Lately, though, the Word of God has been rocking my world. It is amazing what can happen when we start to reprioritize our lives and make the Main Thing the actual, practical main thing. God is moving in my life. He is speaking to my heart. Things are changing for the better. I actually looked at my husband this morning after church and chuckled, "Watch out, honey, I think I am becoming a radical."

I am still praying and searching for what that looks like. I am ready to pitch the trashy TV I watch and the celebrity gossip I follow, but can I still love J. Crew and pretty childrens' clothes? :-)

I think it all started with Kay Arthur's powerful message at Deeper Still about getting back to the basics of our faith--knowing and clinging to the Truth of God. I felt God drawing me close and surrendered to the pull rather than fighting to keep Him at arms' length. For the last two weeks I have been reading straight from the Word daily. I have also been participating in a Summer study of No Other Gods, by Kelly Minter, which is about identifying and confronting the idols in our life.

Suddenly, I am rejuvenated by the Word and really disgusted by the lies of the world. It is like scales are falling from my eyes. I am sick of all the counterfeit life I see around me. I want the Real Deal. This morning's Sunday School lesson was like the glue God used to pull everything together.

Before I share it with you, let me confess what happened before church. Despite my efforts to get up before the children to have a few minutes of Quiet Time, my offspring just keep waking up earlier and earlier (even though I completely dropped their naps a couple of weeks ago). I mean, our alarm is set for 6am... and they are waking at 5:50. It is crazy! I have been finding other quiet spaces in the day, but today I really wanted to be quiet before we went to church.

At 6am I told the early risers they could come downstairs with me, but I was going to spend a few minutes reading my Bible and praying at the kitchen table before breakfast. I set my kitchen timer for 10 minutes and then explained they would have to read or otherwise entertain themselves, quietly, in an adjacent room until the buzzer went off. The mayhem that followed was like a bad movie script. My children who typically are able to entertain themselves for 20-30 minutes at a time were interrupting me repeatedly for crazy, insignificant things. I finally closed them in the sunroom, only to hear howling, drum beating and xylophone playing all erupt simultaneously. When one of the children burst into the breakfast room where I was sitting, I blew up. "MOMMY JUST WANTS A FEW MINUTES OF QUIET TIME TO TALK TO GOD SO I CAN HAVE PATIENCE AND SELF CONTROL TODAY!!!!!" (I promise that is exactly what I said because I felt convicted the minute the first syllable left my lips, but couldn't stop...I just had to let some steam off.) As I looked across my open Bible on the table at those big, shocked eyes staring back at me, I couldn't help but appreciate the irony.

No matter how hard we try, apart from Christ, we cannot 'decide' to do or be better. That was the message of our Sunday School lesson this morning from Philippians 2. As a matter of fact, our teacher started by saying that making 'Holiness To Do Lists' (my words, not his) will either leave us puffed up and prideful or feeling utterly defeated--neither of which make us holy.

Don't get me wrong, I know we have work to do in this world. We (I) just must remember whose work it is.

"...for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."Phillippians 2:13

It is really that simple. My energy will always fail--and His will always succeed.
It is not about me. It is all abut Him.

Ephesians 2:8-10 in the Message says: "Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing."

Raising children, managing our home, being helpmates to our husbands, loving our neighbors...it is all good work--and all God's plan. As the NIV says, "We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10

God made us on purpose and with a purpose. He has a plan and He will equip us for the task. What a promise!

Lord, my mind cannot conceive of You, so it continues to make You smaller in an effort to understand. You are not small. You are mighty--and more than capable. You are Sovereign and always at work. You have a plan. You will lead me and guide me. Help me to REST in that knowledge.

*I added a couple of phrases after publishing this last night to clarify a point that was questioned in the comments.