This morning I realized that the snappy, whiny, yucky tone of voice bug had bitten our family. (Daddy is exempt from this. I am speaking of those of us who spend so much time together on these long Summer days.) The children's tone has been driving me crazy..and this morning I stepped back and listened to myself and realized I was an equally guilty party. I am trying to let them work things out on their own, when possible. I am also following my 'I don't hear that tone of voice' rule. Unfortunately, listening to what must take place in order to be consistent in these two areas really rattles my nerves and makes my insides feel like frustration is slowly boiling inside. Unfortunately, I like a teapot, sometimes boil over and send everyone to their rooms or remove a privilege. I am not proud of this AT ALL.
I was chatting about all this with God in the shower this morning and heard one word calm my Spirit...breathe.
It is the very advice I give to my children when they are frustrated. Take a deep breath. Don't just react...pause and breathe. It is so simple, so primal and so effective.
A friend of mine once passed along a trick her mother taught her. When things are particularly stressful with her children and she feels she is about to lose it, she does a breathing exercise using the fruit of the Spirit,
"Breathe in the Lord, Breathe at love.
Breathe in the Lord, Breathe out joy.
Breathe in the Lord, Breathe out peace."
She continues until she has covered them all...patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self control."
I love this exercise and confess I don't do this often enough.
"Breathe in the Lord, Breathe at love.
Breathe in the Lord, Breathe out joy.
Breathe in the Lord, Breathe out peace."
She continues until she has covered them all...patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self control."
I love this exercise and confess I don't do this often enough.
I think it is so important to remember how frequently we are the mood setters in our home. When things are stressful and I am able to find something to laugh about, it has amazing power to shift the whole crew sometimes. If only I can step out of the moment for a millisecond to remember that...I just need to breathe.
Thank you, God, for your reminder this morning that my whole family could benefit from a little more gentleness and patience from me.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:4 (NIV)
So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Colossians 3:12-14 (The Message)
Thank you, God, for your reminder this morning that my whole family could benefit from a little more gentleness and patience from me.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:4 (NIV)
So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Colossians 3:12-14 (The Message)
10 comments:
I have never commented on your blog before, but I read it daily--and let me just tell you I think we are kindred spirits. The last two weeks your posts have been SPOT ON to what I am going through. I even quoted you in one of my own blog posts last night!
This morning my quiet time was about the fruit of the spirit--I was thinking about how I need to teach these to my little boy to help us reign in some of the yelling and bad tones of voice I've been hearing lately. And I, like you, am equally as guilty! I love the breathing exercise!
And just as a side note--the reason your blog first caught my eye is that 1) I have a boy who will be 4 next week, and I think he is alot like your P, and 2) I have triplet neice and nephews who will be 4 in August--and they are EXACTLY like your three kids--the same 3 personalities and everything. It's freaky really!!!
Oh, jmom, I am just trying to tell myself it's not too late to employ this exercise within the confines of my own home . . . and "confines" is exactly what it's felt like this week.
Thank you, dear one, for putting this out here for me to read today, just when the cares of this world are pressing in, threatening to cut off my very breath. Thank you . . . I so needed to read this today.
You don't know how much this hits home today. Thank you for helping me through. God spoke to me through your post today.
Definitely what I needed to hear as well!
Amen and amen! I do a similar exercise that I think one of my college disciplers called "spiritual breathing".
Loved the breathe in the Lord and breathe out the fruits of the Spirit. wish someone had told me that when mine were little. How blessed you are to have been told that so you can implent this wonderful truth.
Jmom, as always, your posts are an inspiration. I'm in the same stage listening to the whining & yelling. Today I actually started telling them I wasn't listening to the whining & I wouldn't respond to it. They needed to ask me in a nice, polite voice.
My girls do have a bit of a disadvantage though. They have their mom's high pitched voice. Obviously as an adult(most days) I can control it. I now understand what adults used to tell me though when I was little. So often times even though they are trying not to be whiny it comes out that way just because of the high pitch.
I could have written this post! Well, not really, because I cannot write like you, but I mean I totally relate and have been thinking about this so much lately. I often hold my children to a higher standard than myself in this area and I am trying to change. Thank you for these thoughts.
Wow--you are singing to the choir here! I have a house full of teenagers and this time of year is really stressful with exams and graduation right on top of us. I need to remember to breathe and laugh and ask God to calm my nerves so I can keep things light and positive.
Great post! Hope it gets better at your house, too!
Honestly, sometimes I feel being the mood-setter is incredibly intimidating. But, it is what it is and I must make the most of it, even when children are up before dawn. :)
Thanks for this excellent tip. I hope to remember to use it. I'm afraid when I'm stressed, it isn't fruits of the Spirit that I bear. I needed this reminder.
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