In 13 hours there will be over 2 dozen children (and their parents) here to celebrate 4 years of life with my kiddos. I am strangely peaceful and excited. Surprisingly, I am not wistful or emotional. I feel ready...and thankful.
As I was considering this tonight I had a flashback of the long drives back and forth to Atlanta 4 1/2 years ago to see specialists. I hated those drives because I was normally alone and full of anxiety. Generally I would get on the phone and call Randi and cry. Then I'd get off the phone and spend the rest of the time praying and/or singing loudly to pass the time. My favorite CD for those drives was Jennifer Knapp. Specifically, I loved "You Answer Me." I used to sing it almost as a prayer of faith and release. I wanted desperately to believe it all would turn out OK...the fertility treatments, then the high risk pregnancy...but there were no guarantees. All I had was faith--and just a tiny bit of that! It hurt to believe, but it hurt more not to.
I could have never imagined then that I would be sitting here today.
To know You are I Am
Confidence of lion lying with the lamb
In greener fields, with all my zeal,
Is hard to comprehend
I can hear You cry out loud
When You answer me
When You answer me
Once again I am revived
When You answer me You answer
When You answer me You answer me with...
(With) love so understanding
I can hardly catch my breath
Seeing this I wonder how You have any love left
(Left) me not alone
When I did not believe
Through the darkness, through the darkness You answer me
You answer me with love.
-Jennifer Knapp, You Answer Me
Thank you, Lord. You did answer me with love. Lots and lots of love.
Once again I'll go over what God has done,
lay out on the table the ancient wonders;
I'll ponder all the things you've accomplished,
and give a long, loving look at your acts.
Psalm 77:11-12 The Message
"Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!"
-Great is Thy Faithfulness, Hymn
8 comments:
We celebrate with you, Jen.
When the LORD brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed.
Our mouths were filled with laughter,our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them."
The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.
Psalm 126
it is so hard to believe that your "babies" are now FOUR!! what a joyous occasion to celebrate...happy birthday to your cuties!! have fun tomorrow!!
I also remember the same calls I made to you, only three years later. God has been so good to both of us! Wish we could be there to celebrate.
Happy Birthday to your sweet trio! I hope your celebrations are loads of fun! God is good!
Have a great party!
Have a wonderful time celebrating "4" years:)! Happy birthday to your sweet and adorable kiddos! I think you have tasted already... but four is wonderful!!!
And I love Jen Knapp too:)
Happy Birthday, little Scotts!!
What a wonderful reminder of God's faithfulness! Your children have filled my heart with hope. Thank you for your transparency.
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