What P's Life Has Already Taught Me

Lindsey asked yesterday in the comments about P's mild Cerebral Palsy diagnosis and what that has meant in our family. Thursday, I had a conversation with another mother of multiples about raising a child with developmental delays who has same-aged siblings and the inevitable comparisons made between the two. We are in a really great place with P's development right now, but I wanted to document a little about our journey and what I've learned. Perhaps it will help someone. If not, at least I have it recorded for posterity, as I have certainly learned that I have trouble remembering much about where we've been unless I write it down.

This post is about P's early signs, diagnosis and milestones. Cerebral Palsy has a broad spectrum, P is on the very mild end. He has spent 3 years receiving Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy as needed. Sometimes that has meant 4 hours of therapy weekly, other times it has been as little as 30 minutes a week. We work with a great group that evaluates him a couple of times a year to see how he is progressing towards major milestones. Currently, he is receiving physical therapy every other week, as his slight gait issues (primarily when running) are the only noticeable deficits. Ironically, after all his therapy, his fine motor skills are much better than those of his brother.

As I was talking to a friend who is standing at the edge facing the possibility of developmental delays in one of her multiples, I was reminded of all the uncertainty. Will he always be "the one with the issues?" Will he have self esteem issues as a result? Will his own siblings treat him differently? Will he be left behind? What if he has to go to a different school? Will his weaknesses restrict the type of hobbies and/or career he pursues? Can he play sports? The list of questions were endless.

As mothers we want to protect our children. It is a powerful, innate, driving force. I feared what this world might do to a "weak one." Haven't we all been there as we have stared at our children? Fearing what this harsh world may think of one we love so completely?

I have learned many things in this journey. The two greatest things are these: First, each child is absolutely, uniquely designed with a plan and a purpose. It is not a tragedy that any child is born with anything. (That is a bold statement, I know. But, I stand behind it.) I believe in a Sovereign God who knits us together in our mother's wombs, who has a plan and a purpose for each of us to uniquely fulfill. Even profound disabilities can be used by God to make a huge impression on the lives of others. Just look at Rick Hoyt.

Secondly, part of our unique design is the flaws, weaknesses, handicaps, thorns in the flesh. Every single human being has them. P's first physical therapist addressed my early tears and fears with the reminder that K & R were going to have difficulties of their own, whether they be physical, mental, emotional, academic, social, spiritual--or a combination thereof. The way our children deal with these challenges and the impact they have on their life are all a part of the sanctification process.

As a professing Christ Follower, my purpose on this Earth is to glorify God. Period. Everything in my life is about fulfilling that purpose. Loving others. Serving. Parenting. Working. Evangelizing. Everything. I wish I could always remember that. The truth is much of my life is a poor reflection of the fact that I hold his glory most dear. Yet, that is how success is measured in the worldview I profess. Not how well-spoken, well-read, well-educated, well-mannered, wealthy, or well-liked, not by how beautiful, popular, athletic, coordinated or admired I am. What matters is this: Is my life pointing others towards Christ?

As a parent, this is the purpose I pass on to my children: Live the life God gave you with greatness so that God receives the glory. Do I desire for my children to be well-educated, attractive, well-mannered? Yes, of course. But only if it is a way to love and serve others more effectively in the name of our Lord.

It is so easy to get sucked into mainstream voices of what success looks like. I often find myself mixed up. Nudge me, push me, Lord, keep reminding me. Please, Father, keep me focused.