Because I've blogged a lot lately about the energy level in our home, I thought this picture was a perfect example.
This was taken New Year's Eve as the children were playing in our front yard with friends and sparklers. Those faint little blurs like to move!
So far 2008 is amazing. I had an incredibly productive day today. For the first time in weeks, my laundry room is empty. Everything is clean and put away. The children even helped me reorganize the "dress up closet." Costumes are hanging, everything has its place. My great toy purge is continuing!
This afternoon our sitter came so I could hole up in the office and get organized. What a wonderful feeling to sort, file, shred and purge! I am a hopeless geek. It was completely fulfilling to get bills, statements and tax documents organized. I even got to listen to a great online sermon while I worked.
Then, while the boys napped, K & I reorganized the china cabinet.
Rather than being exhausted, I feel exhilarated. I realized over the last couple weeks that I can only hang out with no agenda for so long before it starts to really impact me negatively. I am wired for activity. I enjoy output, measurable results, productivity. I want to see that my work is making a difference.
Frankly, this is what makes motherhood so draining and frustrating for me. I want an immediate reward. Parenting is truly a marathon, and although there are certainly glimpses of results along the way--they can often seem few and far between.
My sole parenting resolution for 2008 is to pause and really 'see' my children. I want to give them at least 10 minutes a day of individual, delighted attention--the kind of excitement an extended family member brings when they come for a visit. I want to notice the neat things about who they are becoming and to rejoice with them in their realizations about the world. I am resolving to slow down long enough to laugh at their jokes, appreciate their individuality and share in their experience of life. In short, I want them to experience my enjoyment of them.
As a well-intentioned mama, I often inadvertently spend the majority of my time focussed on structure, rules, expectations, safety concerns, physical needs, behaviour, orchestrating life experiences, etc...and it leaves little room for pausing to look a child in the eyes and smile.
The last 2 days of attempting to do this have been RICHLY rewarding. I think this is a resolution it will be wildly satisfying to keep.
7 comments:
your "sole parenting resolution of 2008" paragraph is EXACTLY what i resolved to embrace this year! you spoke my feelings so well!
I could related to every aspect of this post. We are experiencing major cabin fever here with the temps barely above zero.
I said to my husband before he went to bed that I need some one-on-one time with our son soon. Your idea to make it as simple as 10 minutes a day is a practical first step.
I appreciate you and your wisdom.
Happy New Year!
I am also a "creature of habit" in the the sense that while holidays and breaks in routine often bring about HUGE blessings as you described, I need structure (self-imposed or otherwise) to move forward, accomplish things, and keep the house running! LOL
I've found that when my 3 are at their worst that some one on one time is the solution. Even if it's just going to Wal*mart to buy lightbulbs. They crave that time as much as we treasure it (and isn't it so much easier to handle a trip out with just one? ) Enjoy!!
Spooky. I think you reached into my brain and grabbed my thoughts. I don't have triplets -- although I am days away from having three children. But I've been thinking lately how much smoother things go around my house when my six- and four-year-old get just a little one-on-one time each day with Mom. How crucial. And wonderfully invigorating.
You know what I love about posts like this? They're infectious! Thanks for sharing! I'm off to clean and get organized, so I can start a new, fun project with my kids, while we stuck in doors with winter weather!
I think most mother's struggle with the marathon aspect of parenting. That is the perfect way to describe it, BTW. Unless you're a rare person who would rather be watching children than ANYTHING ELSE, every day of being a mother is a sacrifice. Even though there are rewards, ultimately, life is about serving, not being served and we are blessed to be FORCED to serve by the little dictato...ahem...I mean children we were given! :-)
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