The last 12 hours have been filled with uncertainty and anticipation. They have also reminded me of a very important life lesson (AGAIN) in perspective.
Yesterday afternoon, K started complaining that her head and her forehead were hurting. She cried and whined about the pain off and on all afternoon despite regular doses of Tylenol. Around 2am she woke up screaming that her head was hurting. I knew innately that it was not normal for 3 year olds to have painful headaches, especially ones that wake them from deep sleep.
This morning we went to see our pediatrician who ordered a contrast CT scan. Although I knew they were hoping to rule out a tumor, it was still frightening and incredibly disturbing to be carrying a form that said "please rule out intracranial mass" in one hand and my sweet daughter's hand in the other.
Thankfully, the test was performed at the hospital my husband was working at today, so he was able to join us for the procedure. K was a champ and the test came back clear. She is no longer complaining of head aches, so it appears we have dodged a ball for now.
But those hours of not knowing were an incredible reminder to me of how life can change in an instant. I should know this by now.
Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.
You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man's life is but a breath. Selah
Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:
He bustles about, but only in vain; he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.
But now, Lord, what do I look for?
My hope is in you.
Psalm 39:4-7 NIV
We do not control our own destiny. We do not control our children's destiny. Only God in Heaven knows what the next hour will look like in any of our lives. A cry in the middle of the night, a phone call, a diagnosis...there are so many variables. Mere seconds, simple words can change the course of our life. But our circumstances do not change WHO God is.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8
Honestly, I was scared today. I was afraid that God was about to call on us to walk a road that would be difficult and painful. I am so glad He spared us this test today, but know it may come soon in some other form. Some of you are in the midst of your own tests and trials now.
Meanwhile, we rejoice in our health. We are grateful for a good report. We rest up and train up for whatever battle life may have for us next.