Monday, November 05, 2007

In an Instant

The last 12 hours have been filled with uncertainty and anticipation. They have also reminded me of a very important life lesson (AGAIN) in perspective.

Yesterday afternoon, K started complaining that her head and her forehead were hurting. She cried and whined about the pain off and on all afternoon despite regular doses of Tylenol. Around 2am she woke up screaming that her head was hurting. I knew innately that it was not normal for 3 year olds to have painful headaches, especially ones that wake them from deep sleep.

This morning we went to see our pediatrician who ordered a contrast CT scan. Although I knew they were hoping to rule out a tumor, it was still frightening and incredibly disturbing to be carrying a form that said "please rule out intracranial mass" in one hand and my sweet daughter's hand in the other.

Thankfully, the test was performed at the hospital my husband was working at today, so he was able to join us for the procedure. K was a champ and the test came back clear. She is no longer complaining of head aches, so it appears we have dodged a ball for now.

But those hours of not knowing were an incredible reminder to me of how life can change in an instant. I should know this by now.

Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.
You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you.

Each man's life is but a breath. Selah
Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:

He bustles about, but only in vain; he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.
But now, Lord, what do I look for?

My hope is in you.
Psalm 39:4-7 NIV

We do not control our own destiny. We do not control our children's destiny. Only God in Heaven knows what the next hour will look like in any of our lives. A cry in the middle of the night, a phone call, a diagnosis...there are so many variables. Mere seconds, simple words can change the course of our life. But our circumstances do not change WHO God is.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

Honestly, I was scared today. I was afraid that God was about to call on us to walk a road that would be difficult and painful. I am so glad He spared us this test today, but know it may come soon in some other form. Some of you are in the midst of your own tests and trials now.

Meanwhile, we rejoice in our health. We are grateful for a good report. We rest up and train up for whatever battle life may have for us next.


Aunt Boo said...

Oh my gosh, I am sorry you had to go through that. I hope that all is well now.

Aunt Boo!

Jacob and Andi said...

This just about made my heart stop! I am so glad things are okay. I would be a wreck.

Realizing that our kids are not our own is the hardest parenting lesson I have had so far- and from what I can tell, I will never learn it completely. It's too much for my mortal mind.

Big Mama said...

I'm so glad that K is alright. I love what you said about circumstances changing in an instant, but God remains the same.

Renee said...

Rejoicing with you over the good report and praying for continued health. A great reminder for us all.

Mandy said...

So glad K is doing better and got a clean bill of health. We certainly take a lot for granted and sometimes those little reminders put things in perspective.


Michelle said...

I am so glad K is ok. Maybe she was just overtired from getting up so early and missing her nap.

Wendy said...

I'm so glad she is ok. Thanks for sharing this and reminding me of the brevity of life.

Jill B said...

A young girl at our school was in a bad car accident this weekend and her life is in the balance. I am grateful too that I can witness this from afar and not be asked to walk that road. But it does get you thinking. How glad I am that God is still in control when everything else is uncertain.
Praying that K can read this one day and be grateful too.

Perri said...

I thank God with you that all is well with your precious K.

Sincerely Anna said...

I don't think there's anything scarier than watching your child in pain and not knowing why. I thank God she is alright and that He gave you reminders in His Word that your hope is in Him. I love that passage in Psalms.

Ashley said...

So glad she is okay, but I also understand how scary the waiting can be. In a week I too will have some answers after I go through surgery to remover a nodule on my thyroid. No cancer is believed to be involved, but there is always the chance and surgery is scary as well. I pray that you all feel the comfort of the Lord's hand and appreciate the verses you left on your blog. Even though we have never meet, your blog is and inspiration and a challenge to remember God is in control. Hug those 3 little ones a bit tighter tonight. Blessings, Ashley

Pam said...

Oh my goodness, J, I am so sorry you had to go through this. Praise the Lord for the results and for the peace He will bring to your heart. May He feel quite present this evening as your house quiets for the night and you can reflect on Him and His mighty power at work.

Praising God with you that K is ok. God brought you to mind this afternoon, and I prayed. So glad to know now why I was prompted. God is incredible in His ways.

Hugs to you all.

Deidre said...

I'm so sorry you (and K) had to go through that today. Praise God she is okay. Nothing rattles a Mommy more than the thought of our children hurting. I'm so glad the outcome was good. I pray she gets some restful sleep tonight.

The Robinson Girls said...

there is nothing worse than seeing your child in pain.. My baby had open heart surgery 12 weeks ago today and had complications following her surgery.

She is fine now- thanks to a wonderful pediatric intensive care unit and God's grace, but I will never, EVER, take my children's health for granted. It really is a gift to have every body part function that way it was designed to.


Erickson 5 said...

Thank God all is okay with your dear K! How scary that must have been.
I am terrified that we will be walking down that "road" with one of my loved ones who I feel is sick. Thanks for this post. I am going to stop and pray hard about my situation!

Borbe Bunch said...

A great reminder...God alone holds the futre...every minute...thanks for being real and honest...SO glad for the good report.
God is good.

Beth/Mom2TwoVikings said...

Oh, Jen! I so despise those life-comes-screeching-to-a-halt type days but the lessons they teach us, the focus they give us, and the reminders they send us...priceless. I'm so sorry K was feeling ill. Hope things are better today.

Fran said...

I praise His name with you. I am so glad that your baby is a-ok. I hope you have a peaceful, Jesus-filled day!


Shannon and Carey said...

Happy that K is well. I can't imagine how scary that must have been. I was thinking yesterday, while painting the twins room, God knows our lives from beginning to end. I am praying he spares me of all the things that a mother's mind conjers up. And oh how a mother's mind can "go there".
Love the blogs. Precious, precious children.
Shannon in Austin

fAiThFuL cHiCk said...

You are so wise to see what God's message is in the midst of chaos. Glad to hear she is feeling better and I pray you do not have to go through that again.

faithful chick