Today has been a hard day. It started too early. A wailing child at 5:40 who protested going back to bed. I wouldn't allow him to get out of bed, so he decided to wake everyone else up with his yelling (tantrum). What was I supposed to do? Allow him to "win" and let him get up way too early just to keep him quiet? I still am unsure. The boys share a room, so playing quietly in his room was not really an option.
For the next 3 hours before we left for preschool, I truly believe one of the three was whining or crying at almost every moment. Grouchiness permeated our home. At one point, R looked at me and said, "You are not being a very nice Mommy today." He was right. I tried a Tivo break with their favorite shows. We had a morning huddle. I apologized. They apologized. We prayed. It was to no avail.
As we were eating breakfast P said, "Stop bodderin' me, R. I am so angwy. It makes me go ARGHHH!" Then he looked at me and pointed and said, "Dat's what you do Mommy."
Seriously! I know it was a bad morning...but being called out repeatedly by your 3 year olds is painful.
I sent them off to preschool with a note to their teacher 'warning' her and telling her I was praying for her. As I picked them up this afternoon there was a LONG return note about the behavior of one of my boys. Seems he laid on top of his screaming brother and would not get up resulting in time out. Later on the playground he whacked his sister in the head because she was in his way. This is all after a talk Ms. Jennifer had with us yesterday about having friendly hands at school.
I knew from the letter he had been 'dealt with' at school, but felt I needed to address it as well. As I talked with him about it and discussed potential at home consequences he replied, "But I said I am sorry." He did and he was. Is that enough?
I gave them a snack when we got home and we played with some new sewing cards to settle down for naps. They have now been in their rooms for just over an hour and no one is asleep. They NEED this nap. I need this nap. Today is a day when I would honestly rather hide behind my laptop curled up in my comfy chair rather than deal with 3 year old attitude...but it is not an option.
I have responsibility. I must shoulder it with love and patience. Some days there is no choice but to embrace your reality, pray for strength and endurance and power through--or in the case of how I feel today, trudge. Today I am tired and there are still 5 hours until bedtime.
I am aware there are much bigger problems in the world, but this is my reality today. I am feeling a bit defeated.