I should have learned by now that typing, "I LOVE this age!" is just asking for a hard cold dose of reality to smack me in the face. We are in the throes of what I can only describe as a birthday hangover. The arguing over toys is making me bonkers!
I have tried having them count to 10 then switch...but that is really not long enough to enjoy anything and they cannot quite count to 20 reliably. I also attempted to set a kitchen timer...but then the argument became about playing with the kitchen timer. I even tried talking to them about kindness and sharing and it was met with typical 3 year old selfishness. Distraction seems to be the only tactic that is working, but sometimes I oversell the "other option" so much that the fight then becomes about that toy instead.
Even my sweet, happy-go-lucky K has found her 3 year old pout. She sticks her bottom lip out and says over and over and OVER and OVER..."But, I WANT it! I want it. I want it. I WANT it." She chants slowly, defiantly and continuously. Did I mention she follows me around while she is saying it? There is no escape. It is like Chinese water torture to my frazzled nerves.
The most frustrating part is that I have only myself to blame. For the children's birthday party we requested donations to children's charities in lieu of gifts, but even the few loving gestures we received from family and friends, when multiplied by three have brought a plethora of new things to argue over. Without exception, our sweet friends were wise enough to get the same things for all 3...WITH their names on them. (Sharpies are truly our new necessity around here.)
Seems Mommy was the brilliant one who thought as their parents should give them each something unique. R got a drum he could put around his neck "like a weel marching band pa-wade." It also came with cymbals. Loud, crashing, shiny brass cymbals. When Daddy saw them he asked, "are you SURE?" I have already tried unsuccessfully to hide them under a chair to see if they would be missed...they were, instantly. UGGH!
P, who wanted a horn, got a set with several wooden instruments: a recorder, a slide whistle, a train whistle and a plastic kazoo. (Have I lost my mind or what?) A few nights ago, I had a Pastor Search Committee meeting and Daddy was on call. When I returned home, Annie described a scene where P, who was in the midst of marching to a rousing rendition of "When the Saints Go Marching In," fell. He started crying with the kazoo still firmly in his mouth. The resulting sound was so entertaining that suddenly his tears turned to laughter--still filtered through and amplified by the kazoo. Suddenly, everyone was giggling.
K got the "little tiny mice" she asked for, courtesy of the Littlest Pet Shop. She also got some wooden instruments for good measure. Nothing like a peaceful home!
Isn't it a funny thing about the human condition: what starts as special blessing and celebration quickly becomes expectation. How often am I just like my children? Jealous over what others have, selfish with "my stuff," pouty, demanding of God what I want rather than trusting His Hand.
So, between the whining, the protesting, the arguing, the time of the month, the fact Daddy has been out of town and the musical noise that is my own fault...Mama is one snappy turtle. Add guilt and frustration with myself to that list, because I know they are just acting their age and I am getting overly annoyed. Whew! I need an extra dose of God's grace today...and it is not even 9am!
Looks like we will be spending today at the pool...and I need to go bathe myself in a little more prayer. To borrow from K's strategy, "God, I want patience. I want it. I WANT IT NOW." :-)
20 comments:
Jen, at least you know it's age appropriate so you aren't expecting some perfect Stepford family life.
It will pass. I'm sure you will get lots of good ideas on how to make it more enjoyable.
seriously, i couldn't "hear ya" more...we've been up since 5:45...already been dressed, fed (twice) and a round trip to target...still it's only 9:30? are you serious? Merritt is 4 and Whit is 1 and i'm...struggling! i keep reminding myself that these are the days i'll miss...? really? hard to believe right this second!:)
cindy whitaker carmichael.
This seems to be the theme around blogland. Kids are having meltdowns and Moms' patience are wearing thin. Maybe it's the time of year? I don't know, but it's consistent with all of us. Hang in there. And, just like the statement "I LOVE this age"...be careful praying for patience! :)Or, atleast that's what I've always heard. To not pray for patience. But, that's difficult when that's exactly what we all need when staying home with Toddlers.
I laugh that they call it 'terrible twos' but age three is the one that's hard. Hang in there and get out of the house (away from the musical instruments!).
I've been reading your blog for a couple of months now. You've really encouraged me with your transparency. I had three girls in under three years so I relate a little to how busy you are! Thanks
I have made the same parent mistake too--buying a gift that I would never want someone to give us, and then regretting it. Or at least wishing I could hide it sometimes. As for sharing, my kids have the same issues sometimes, and I have found a solution. I tell them if they can't share a toy then the toy will go to time-out and no one will play with it. This usually gets them to share, for at least a little while.
When my children were little, I heard lots of older ladies say "my kids never..." And I used to think "Really? Do they really remember EVERYTHING, or just the good stuff?"
I remember. I remember the days when I was hanging on to my sanity by the skin of my teeth. The days when the sounds of their little voices made me want to scream. The days when it seemed all I did was watch the clock, hoping for the day to end. And that's how I learned to cope with those crazy days, by telling myself that this day would end, I would get to put them in their beds and cherish the silence, and eventually put my head on a pillow and rest. Also, I learned that a nap for myself worked wonders sometimes. When they were napping, I would nap. Yes, the chores were still there when I woke up, but my spirit was refreshed and the tasks didn't seem so impossible. Do you ever treat yourself to a nap?
I've been following your blog for a while now, and I'd just like to thank you for giving us all a glimpse into your days. Your precious children, your honesty and your constant humor through it all inspire me as a mom-to-be. Checking your blog has become my "special treat" each day and is guaranteed to bring a smile or set me deep in thought--thanks so much for sharing! Here's to hoping your 'band' makes some beautiful music that makes your heart sing!!
-Karen in VT
I hear you LOUD & CLEAR! All the new toys and special attention leaves us Moms with a huge challenges. Hang in there. I am sure it will only get better.
Nicole
What a morning! You have such a sweet spirit, darling kids, a great sense of humor and a gracious God...I am sure you will laugh about this day when they are all grown up! I love your blog and thank you are a great mother! Please blog any great ideas you come across to deal with the issue of selfishness...I could really use them with my 2 little ones!
Have fun at the pool, and maybe we need to meet you at the park someday for a rousing parade of noise . . . outside! My older three could heartily entertain your sweet three -- possibly leaving the two of us a minute or so for adult conversation : )
Know you will be in my prayers today, praying for grace for you and for God to wrap His arms securely around you.
I only wish I could give you good advice in this area. However, with our oldest being 5, things have gotten a little better around here...at times. Birthdays are still a struggle, but then none of ours share that day like yours do. And I have even found myself putting up some birthday presents (that we bought) because, yes, they made too much noise and none of us were ready for them yet. I'm getting better about thinking those things through before purchasing. :)
Do enjoy your day as I know all too well what's it like when Daddy is traveling. You go into survival mode and do what you have to do.
ah...i can so relate. sounds like you had some great ideas to get them to try and share! even our precious little toddlers are sinful!! and some days i'm sure they will get better at it...and then other days you will want to pull your hair out again over their selfishness. it so explains our nature, doesn't it!?
Oh Jen, I hear you on this one!!! I found the 3rd year to be a tough one with all my kids - much more demnading than their 2nd yr.
Hang in there!!! God brings times of refreshing.
Chris in Canada
It actually makes me feel better to read this, so thanks for writing it. I have two kids instead of three, but the happenings in this household are similar to yours... today at least.
JenMom-Help! You wrote about enjoying our children instead of always being in discipline mode. I wanted to save it,didn't,now cannot find it! UGH! Do you know what I am talking about? Seems like it may have been a quote from someone. Thanks for any help. Dee in NC
Dee- Here you go! http://lotsofscotts.blogspot.com/2007/05/i-love-this-quote.html
Could you sense I needed reminding? :-)
I'm sorry, JenMom....I couldn't hear you....could you repeat what you typed? Ha! Never commented before but happened upon your blog about three months ago. I love reading the thoughts in your head and heart. They are similar to mine!
Mother to two precious boys and a little girl on the way,
Jawan
Whenever I am at the end of my rope with the kids and they are testing my "patience", I try to pray for strength. Somedays though I am sure God must be making a point with the patience thing! Hang in there.
Ah, what a picture! My Emma turns three in July, and the thought of Emma times three terrifies me! But by the Grace honey, but by the Grace! The crying in the Kazoo got me giggling! When Emma is throwing a mood, all I have to do is say, "Don't you dare smile Emma Grace!" Then we can giggle away the mood, at least for awhile. Whatever keeps things bearable right! And you have to laugh sometimes, otherwise you'll cry, and laughing is way more fun.
Sarah
Oh, I feel for you. I do. Even though I know (because I have so been there) that these days can try your one last nerve, you continue to amaze me at how you try to look at it all. TRYING counts. A lot.
Phyllis R.
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