Jen, a fellow triplet Mom, asked about our the children's bedtime behavior after the previous post. The trio have been on a schedule since the day they were born. Although my nature is to be a bit more free-spirited, our sanity has depended on synchronized sleeping. They came home from the hospital on a great 4 hour schedule. I followed the BabyWise framework (not the whole book) of Feed, Wake, Sleep. As the kiddos have grown we have modified the schedule as needed. This has served our family well. I like the reliability of being able to plan our days--and I also firmly believe the children's behavior in public is by-in-large positive because I don't push them beyond what their little sleep needs and moods can handle.
The children are early risers. (6-6:30am every day) At 3 years old, they still take a 2-3 hour afternoon nap. K skips hers a couple of times a week, but has quiet time in her room at that time. They need this nap and I need this nap. Meltdowns start happening between 1 and 2 pm as my daily reminder of its importance. The trade off, however, is that I am having a lot of trouble getting them to settle down at night. They just aren't tired at 7:30 anymore. Since Daddy often doesn't get home until after 8pm and it is Summertime, I have been allowing their bedtime to get pushed back more and more. The last week or so has found us getting into bed at 8:15 and not falling asleep until closer to 9pm. All manner of stall tactics are being employed (potty, milk, books, more prayers, "I have to tell you some-pin, " etc...) I have drawn a line in the sand. After "tuck in" Mommy will only return to your room ONE TIME.
Thankfully, I am not dealing with them getting out of their beds. Instead, they just lay there and YELL questions, commands, and pleas for help. Usually, I ignore them as long as I can...but sometimes it goes on far too long and I have to intervene. Many nights I shout a reminder up the stairs that "Mommy is not coming back until morning. You are big...you can handle it."
This morning, R woke up demanding I come "get Sunny" for him. (He sleeps with his lovey between his feet so it often gets lost in the covers.) I had to giggle when I heard K, from her room down the hall shout, "R, you can get him yo'self. Stop yelling. You big!"
There's nothing like hearing our own words come out of a little one's mouth to remind us the importance of our influence! Tough and tender, Mommy, tough and tender.
9 comments:
I love K's comments! They always tickle me! What fun it is to have pre-school age kiddos!!
And, we do the same sleep schedule (infant and toddler). We are early to bed early to rise people!!
I wish K could come to my house and yell down my hall to remind Caroline that she can manage on her own sometimes.
I only have one (compared to your three) who has excuses to get out of bed at night... but I'm going through the same thing over here. We've had to get tough too. Getting up 20 times and not falling asleep for two hours after being put to bed makes for one very sleepy, cranky girl the next day.
I remember those days.... I think sometimes I'd almost prefer them to the older years. Little kid challenges are usually physical, but bigger kid ones are usually emotional. Big sigh.
I think it's great (and oh, so important) that you are consistent with your rule of not constantly going in to check on your kiddos. I also like it that you admit a nap is as much for you as for them. I've not done as well as I could with a sleeping schedule for my little guy. But I do readily admit that many of the things I do regarding him are for my own sanity! Great post.
I am once again right there with you on the routine, schedule, and bed time issues. I like your idea of only returning one time. Night time has been very hard for us lately. Now they use the "I have to go potty" thing all the time. I am usually pretty drained by the end of the day. I ask God a lot for patience at Bed time as it can be such a challenge. I am glad I am not alone.
I've always been a Mama who is draaaaagged through those stages of ending/shortening naps, so that my kids will go to bed earlier/easier in the evenings. I love my children dearly, but I also love their naps!
Chris in Canada
We have used Babywise mixed with Dr. Denmark (the local 100+ yr old resident doc) and loved the routine it gave our family. I've had so many people (some family) over the years not understand why we stick to a schedule, but it's makes such a huge difference for all of us knowing "what to expect." And I have always kept naps going as long as I could. The oldest dropped his afternoon nap at 4 1/2 when he had a terrible time going to sleep at nite. Dropping naps can be bittersweet though.
K's comment is so cute. I often grimace when I hear the boys repeat something I have said. Sure does make me guard my words carefully.
Hey Jen, what devotional book do you use with your kiddos, and when did you start?
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