I have not read this book, but several years ago I read the Adult version, The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. The premise of these books, is that each person has their own preference for how to receive love (quality time, physical affection, words of affirmation, gifts or acts of service.)
Of course, most of us love words of affirmation. My boys are also big-time physical touch folks. They are both cuddlebugs that spontaneously hug and kiss and crawl into my lap. K...not so much. She is sweet, silly, fun and ALWAYS moving. Slowing down to cuddle only happens when she is ill or exhausted. I have longed to find a way to bond with her and help her feel loved in a practical sense and a way she can really receive.
Recently, I realized that quality time is her sweet spot. She is a completely different child when she gets to do something "just with Mommy." She blossoms and she beams. Frequently, when I leave for errands she'll beg "I want to go WIFF you, Mommy." Since most days Annie comes while they are napping to relieve me for errands, I often cannot take her along. Yesterday, I made an exception and took her with me on a big outing to Home Depot and to get my eyebrows waxed. (A hardware store and a salon...am I raising a well rounded lady or what?)
At the salon, K sat completely still in the corner on a chair like a perfect little lady, eyes big as saucers, as the woman went to work on my dark, furry brows and pesky mustache. She did not make a sound during the whole process. I can only imagine what she was thinking as she took in the experience. Enya playing in the background. Mommy on a bed, eyes closed with someone putting things all over my face. The aesthetician commenting the whole time on how she isn't brave enough to let anyone wax her. When we got in the car she said, "Mama, dat was fun. I watch you and dat lady do your eyebrows. She paint green on you, then put on da stickas and pull them off."
Watching her little countenance proved that it is really not about what you are doing...it is about who you are with.
I suppose I should also warn the preschool that if she suddenly starts painting her face and putting stickers all over, it is all in the name of beauty!
14 comments:
Laughing ou tloud because I have a friend who took her 5 year old with her to do this and my friend was a big baby and yelled a couple times which in turn traumatized the poor child to death, now she can get that child no where near a salon to even get a trim!!
I am so glad you were a good example. Sweet little Kate is precious. Aren't daughters wonderful?
She sounds a lot like my daughter...she needs quality time with me as well and LOVES going places with just me. I have taken her to get her nails done with me a couple of times and you would have thought I had taken her to Disney World!
I'm glad she had a good time!
Our boys are a lot like that - but they don't make visits to the salon. :) They enjoy Waffle House or the grocery store or Home Depot or the dreaded (for me at least) Petsmart. But recently, I had to leave the boys so I could venture out to find a few maternity clothes for this hot weather we WERE having. #3 normally would have been napping but kept asking so kindly if he could go with me. How could I say no. After explaining to him what he was getting into, he still wanted to go. He turned out to be fun company and never once complained while we were out. It's amazing how different our children act when they do get that prized one on one time. I'm sure you and Kate are going to have many times like that...and well rounded ones too. :)
I have read the book 5 languages of love and recommend it in the counseling setting.. it is great. I think both my daughters and son are about time together and gifts...go figure.. just like their mom.
I just smile at your precious little kate, such a tender moment.
I think back to my daughters and son when they were small, they would have been in the middle of the street haling a cab.
I love your stories
I love the 5 love languages book, but haven't read the child one either. Thanks for the reminder.
I enjoy reading about your sweet family. :)
Jen, you will always enjoy having Kate along! My twin daughter is 23 and we still love to shop together, but instead of me making suggestions to her, I take her along to tell me what looks good on me. She likes to make sure I dress right and not like an "older mom." lol Tomorrow we're going shoe shopping together.
Kate is precious, as well as Ryland and Parker! You are so blessed.....God is so good!!!
Cute and Sweet!! I always love time alone with my children. So special, and I agree - they love it!!!
This made me laugh! I think you are very brave to blog about your bushy eyebrows and moustache!
Anon at 2:15pm-
You can thank Pam for commenting that I didn't have to be perfect for the references to my problem areas being waxed. :-)
That is so sweet! That will probably lead to many more trips to the salon together!:)
This is a great post. I just got done taking a mommy and children class (we call it ECFE) and the topic was the 5 love languages. It was really interesting but the book said that you really cannot tell a child's love language until they are around 5 years of age.
Nicole
DD and I love our Mommy/daughter time so much. I didn't have that growing up so I am definately enjoying the benefits as well.
That is too sweet! It's always fun to have a mommy/daughter moment! I wish I could experience that but with two boys and one on the way I don't see that happening any time soon : )
Your post was so sweet - it just proves once more that kids love being with their parents no matter what. You don't need big fancy trips, the salon and home depot are just as good..
Thank you so much for your sweet blog!
Kathy
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