I apologize if it feels like I cover the same ground over and over again in my posts...but it takes me a while to chew through the important things of life. I am just a God-fearing girl trying her darndest to figure out how to do this whole marriage + motherhood thing.
I have come to the realization that my problem is two-fold: First of all, I am an achiever. I want to do things very well...and this often means I am trying a lot more out of my own flesh than out of God's strength. I want a neatly organized, beautiful life. Too bad real life is messy and full of suprises, huh? Darn pride! It seems to trip me up a lot.
Secondly, I am not very self-disciplined. You have to get to know me pretty well to figure this out, because I am extremely responsible. The truth is a lot of what I "do" is not a result of a bit of discipline...but moreso out of duty and this overriding moral sense of the "right thing to do."
Do not misunderstand me. I definitely believe in God's amazing grace. I just seem to believe in it a lot more for others, than for myself. So, if you are wondering where I am heading with this...welcome to the club. I am chewing through what this means as a mother of toddlers who feels like I mess up A LOT. One minute we are giggling and cuddling and the next minute everyone is needy and cranky. I am working so hard at being a good Mama, but my effort is not enough. The harder I work, the more stressed out and frustrated I become. What happened to my committment to ENJOY this time in my life? It is increasingly difficult to enjoy parenting when I feel like this age is so riddled with cranky emotions and pushing the limits of discipline.
I spent the children's 2 hour naptime today pondering and praying about all this. I felt led to read Colossians, and look what I found:
"Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven't stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you'll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us. " Colossians 1:9-12 (The Message)
What an amazing prayer for exhausted mothers of little ones. I have spent too much time lately gritting my teeth. I am renewing my committment to the "glory-strength God gives," praying and believing that it will get me back to the place of spilling over into joy. Care to join me?
12 comments:
Can you hear the grit, grit, grit of my own teeth?
My parenting of my five kids is riddled with my thoughts of: "I'm so tired of _____ (These days you can fill in the blank with either tattling or whining. You pick)."
The days when I cope the best, speak the best, think the best and do the best are the days when I am emptied of myself and truly depend on Him for it all.
This job before me is NOT too big because I have endless resources in Him.
Agh. What a journey.
Chris from Canada
Baby,
You are the mother of "3" 3 year olds. This is the worst/best time as they assert their independence and yes heads will knock but it will also make them who they are and who better to learn from.
Love
Mom
I told the kids yesterday if they didn't straighten up that I was changing their names to Pouter, Whiner, Tattler & Crybaby. Well, in their best behaved voices a bit later they told me that they had decided they would like to have their "new names" be Wine, Tat, Baby & Pouter Sugar... Then they were going to be rock stars.
You are doing a great job. I KNOW it's stressful - I've been there myself. But as the song says, "these are the good old days." Enjoy them.
I love those verses, Jen! I think they will be put up throughout the house to remind me that He'll give me the strength to stick it out.
There are many, many, many days that I am so thankful there are no hidden cameras in our home to reveal how quickly moods can change. Of course, being 7 months pregnant does not help in that area at all either. I have been trying to remember that these days will pass soon, maybe too soon, and I'll want them back.
Thanks for the encouragement! I know you are doing a great job with your 3.
How many times I have been exactly where you are right now. Except I had my three in 4-1/2 years, so they were in various phases at different times ... one of the things that has given me comfort is hearing my 95-year-old grandmother (who also had three kids very close together) talk about being a single mother of toddlers(my grandfather was away in the service for a number of years) and how precious those trying years were.
One day, by God's grace and with His help, you will see much fruit from these three precious little ones, and the end will be well worth every struggle.
I love your blog and think you are an incredible mom!
Sending you a hug across the miles,
A sister in Christ
I have three children also, ages 10,7, and 5 and I still feel like I am getting it sorta more than getting it right. But I am also just now starting to see both how extremely fleeting the time is and how your children DO eventually GET IT. My (10-Y-O) son has just this year emerged from silly, annoying stinky boy to absolutely awe me with his spiritual understanding. But it has been bitter sweet. He doesn't need me so much anymore. And while that sounds great when they are young and you are so tired, you do miss it. I also finally have the hindsight to understand that God allows, no - ordains, our imperfections for a VERY IMPORTANT reason. They are eventually going to need to know on a very personal level, from watching your example, that God loves us EVEN when we get it all wrong! What a blessing He has recently revealed to me in this. And they have actually expressed respect for our honesty in our own faults. Recently, my daughter told me on one of my very toughest weeks, that I remind her of Jesus. What a payoff in spades for all those seemingly impossible years!!!! I know I didn't deserve her comment at all, but I WAS ABLE at that moment to point her to Him! O.K. this is the longest comment I have ever left on a blog of someone I don't know IRL and I'm crying, but I want to encourage you that the old adage you already know applies here as well. In God's timing, their fruit will AMAZE you if you just press on toward the mark, not hit it every time, just press on. :)
P.S. This message brought to you from a recovering type A, anal retentive Perfectionist! Just so you understand laid back is not my typical nature. But God teaches us right along with our kiddos. He's so good like that.
And I come to your blog for encouragement as a Mommy because from what I read, you are getting a whole lot right!!!
WOW! Thanks for writing this. Since our triplets are only a few days apart I am right along with you on it being really hard right now. I have been struggling with discipline and the mommy role lately. I will read this verse often especially those days when I feel like I need some strength.
You are such an inspiration.
Nicole
I think I needed to read this today!!! Thanks.
Jennifer R.
I love your honesty in sharing your parenting frustrations. To one degree or another, every single one of us has been there.
My boys are teenagers now and some of the things you write about applies to my feelings even at this stage. BUT, what I have learned from being at the "job" for almost 17 years now, is that there are seasons to all of this. Just when I think I'll pull every last (gray) hair out of my head with frustration, we come to a sweet spot in life. It's like the waves at the beach - thankfully there is an ebb and flow to parenting.
I will tell you that the physical demands of such young children (and like your mom said - YOU HAVE 3 who are almost 3!) - make all the mental stuff harder. Once they are older, and you can be a little more rested, the "mental" things like whining, etc. are easier to take. I loved the verses and I know that growing our faith is the best possible thing we can do to be better parents. You're doing great!
I would love to join you! Thanks for the invite!!!
I always love reading your thoughts--they never fail to encourage me!!
My latest maneuver when the three are all crying/fighting/whining/etc. is to sit down in the middle of them and whine right along. Once they all stop to stare at me in shock, we wrestle. It seems to be working so far. :)
Post a Comment