A few weeks ago we received a foster placement--one precious child, younger than the age we typically receive. In God's divine timing, all my big kids were out of town allowing for a few days of individual attention. She arrived with an ear infection, so the first few days allowed me to connect with her as a caretaker in a sweet, uninterrupted way.
Kate returned from camp on the child's third day with us, then the boys 12 days after that. The slow and steady introductions have made for the sweetest transition of a foster child we have ever experienced.
I was tempted by impatience in new nays as we awaited her arrival. Not knowing age, number of children, gender or arrival date triggered my every control freak tendency. I wanted to know God's plan for my Summer. I wanted to get on with it. And each time my chest would tighten, God tenderly whispered to me to slow down, trust and pray.
I have prayed for this child--without knowing her name or face for months. I have asked others to do so too. I have also been burdened for her birth family all along--praying for them and the challenges that have led them to this place in their story. I looked back at my calendar this morning and realized we actually had a group of friends from the Middle East here praying in her bedroom the week this child was first removed from her parents. God has been at work even in the darkest valley, whether they knew it or not.
Tomorrow we go to court for the first time and I will actually meet the parents face to face for the first time. More than ever, I want to be the face of Jesus to them--not from any literature I hand them or sermon I preach, but by the way I treat them. Lord, fill me with grace instead of judgment, genuine warmth and kindness. Remove my people pleaser tendencies and help me to show them authentic love--not so they will like me, but so they will see more of You.
Lord, make it abundantly clear to the family we are not in this ministry to acquire a child--but to care for their baby with all we have so they have space to heal and grow and become a reunified family, healthy and whole.
I don't know God's plan for this child or her family--but I do know praying that they can all see and know Him more clearly through this process is the burning desire of my heart.
This is just the first lap of a marathon, Lord. When I grow weary and tempted to question the timelines, the process, the logistics, I pray you remind me to slow down, trust, pray and keep leaning hard into You.
Amen.
Showing posts with label prayers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayers. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 17, 2018
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
The One that Turned Back
Because my children are out of school all week, they have had the pleasure (ha ha) of joining me during my daily errands, chores and activities. Though all the extra help has made my daily rhythm feel a little different, it has been surprisingly pleasant to see just how much they are now capable of doing--grocery carts, lists, shopping, waiting (basically) patiently.
I'm not sure if I have mentioned it, but I am really enjoying ten and a half.
One of the items on my agenda this week was an annual check up with the doctor that delivered my trio. He works an hour and a half away in Atlanta, so although I have faithfully shown him pictures of my growing brood over the years, it was still a special moment when he introduced himself to K, P & R in the waiting room yesterday. They were a far cry from the 2 and 3 lb preemies he met a decade ago. When they each shook his hand and said "thank you" to Dr. Donnelly, it took my breath away. (I can't believe I didn't take their picture!)
I felt that my gratitude, although expressed to him countless times before, had a deeper meaning Tuesday. In a moment it was clear we had come full circle.
When I went into labor at 23 weeks, who would have believed these three thriving, precocious people would be standing before us a decade later?
It is our human nature to feel deeply in the moment, but time and the pace of life can cause us to move right along. We are wired to be looking out for the next big thing, but the perspective that comes from pausing to remember can be sobering.
As I was driving home from that appointment, I thought about the account in Luke 17 of the ten lepers Jesus healed.
"And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers, who stood at a distance and lifted up their voices, saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.” When he saw them he said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went they were cleansed. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus answered, “Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine?"
He healed ten people...radically, positively altered the courses of their lives...and only one returned to say thanks. It is easy to read this story in retrospect and judge the nine, but it took me a mere minute to think of possible excuses because I can identify with each one in my own life:
Perhaps they weren't ungrateful, just busy. They were out telling others about how good God had been that there wasn't time to come back.
Maybe they were entitled, felt as if they earned it or deserved it. They had served their time in misery, this was their time to rebuild their lives.
They might have even shouted a "Thank you, Jesus" as they returned to their agendas. They were grateful in their hearts, wasn't that enough?
Perhaps they assumed the altruism of Jesus didn't desire any thanksgiving in return.
And yet, Jesus allows us to see His question: "Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine?" That part is in the Bible for a purpose.
I have been pondering this account all day as I polish, cook, clean and prepare for the Thanksgiving feast in my home tomorrow:
Lord, make me like the one who saw, turned back, praised and gave thanks..not just on social media, but in the quiet moments of humility, meant just for you to hear.
And, Lord, help me not just list the trite circumstantial things...health, family, prosperity, peace. I am exceedingly grateful that my lines have fallen in pleasant places...but grant me the ability to 'see' and turn back in the less traditional places, because, we don't come to the Thanksgiving banquet tables from flawless backgrounds and perfect circumstances. Many of us come with worries, regrets, frustration, fear, heartbreak, complicated lives. Yet, in Hebrews 5: 8 we are encouraged to "...give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
Those 3 little letters A-L-L change my list. They lead my heart to prayers that sound a bit more raw:
Thank you for the doors you have closed to protect me from myself and my own fleshly will.
Thank you for the times you have told me NO to heal me of my greed and cause me to lean on your wisdom.
Thank you for the stumbles, bruises and scars you have allowed to heal me of my prideful self reliance so I can more fully trust you.
Thank you for less than perfect children who reveal a lot of 'less than perfect' in my own heart.
Thank you for the challenging journey of making two lives one in marriage to give me a picture of your great love for your own bride, the Church.
And mostly, thank you for calling me your child--for loving me despite my junk--and for giving me countless opportunities to experience your grace, love and peace.
Because God is faithful in ALL things, I can be grateful in ALL circumstances.
May Thanksgiving not be a day, but a heart attitude that honors Him in seeing, turning back, praising and saying thanks.
One of the items on my agenda this week was an annual check up with the doctor that delivered my trio. He works an hour and a half away in Atlanta, so although I have faithfully shown him pictures of my growing brood over the years, it was still a special moment when he introduced himself to K, P & R in the waiting room yesterday. They were a far cry from the 2 and 3 lb preemies he met a decade ago. When they each shook his hand and said "thank you" to Dr. Donnelly, it took my breath away. (I can't believe I didn't take their picture!)
I felt that my gratitude, although expressed to him countless times before, had a deeper meaning Tuesday. In a moment it was clear we had come full circle.
When I went into labor at 23 weeks, who would have believed these three thriving, precocious people would be standing before us a decade later?
It is our human nature to feel deeply in the moment, but time and the pace of life can cause us to move right along. We are wired to be looking out for the next big thing, but the perspective that comes from pausing to remember can be sobering.
As I was driving home from that appointment, I thought about the account in Luke 17 of the ten lepers Jesus healed.
"And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers, who stood at a distance and lifted up their voices, saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.” When he saw them he said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went they were cleansed. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus answered, “Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine?"
He healed ten people...radically, positively altered the courses of their lives...and only one returned to say thanks. It is easy to read this story in retrospect and judge the nine, but it took me a mere minute to think of possible excuses because I can identify with each one in my own life:
Perhaps they weren't ungrateful, just busy. They were out telling others about how good God had been that there wasn't time to come back.
Maybe they were entitled, felt as if they earned it or deserved it. They had served their time in misery, this was their time to rebuild their lives.
They might have even shouted a "Thank you, Jesus" as they returned to their agendas. They were grateful in their hearts, wasn't that enough?
Perhaps they assumed the altruism of Jesus didn't desire any thanksgiving in return.
And yet, Jesus allows us to see His question: "Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine?" That part is in the Bible for a purpose.
I have been pondering this account all day as I polish, cook, clean and prepare for the Thanksgiving feast in my home tomorrow:
Lord, make me like the one who saw, turned back, praised and gave thanks..not just on social media, but in the quiet moments of humility, meant just for you to hear.
And, Lord, help me not just list the trite circumstantial things...health, family, prosperity, peace. I am exceedingly grateful that my lines have fallen in pleasant places...but grant me the ability to 'see' and turn back in the less traditional places, because, we don't come to the Thanksgiving banquet tables from flawless backgrounds and perfect circumstances. Many of us come with worries, regrets, frustration, fear, heartbreak, complicated lives. Yet, in Hebrews 5: 8 we are encouraged to "...give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
Those 3 little letters A-L-L change my list. They lead my heart to prayers that sound a bit more raw:
Thank you for the doors you have closed to protect me from myself and my own fleshly will.
Thank you for the times you have told me NO to heal me of my greed and cause me to lean on your wisdom.
Thank you for the stumbles, bruises and scars you have allowed to heal me of my prideful self reliance so I can more fully trust you.
Thank you for less than perfect children who reveal a lot of 'less than perfect' in my own heart.
Thank you for the challenging journey of making two lives one in marriage to give me a picture of your great love for your own bride, the Church.
And mostly, thank you for calling me your child--for loving me despite my junk--and for giving me countless opportunities to experience your grace, love and peace.
Because God is faithful in ALL things, I can be grateful in ALL circumstances.
May Thanksgiving not be a day, but a heart attitude that honors Him in seeing, turning back, praising and saying thanks.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
A Prayer of Adoration & Confession
Father,
We bring our busy minds before you in humble worship, even as we struggle to grasp the enormity of WHO You are:
The Great I AM.
The Alpha & Omega.
You have always been and will always be.
On this gorgeous September morning, we are reminded that you are our all powerful, Creator.
You are our Sustainer, our Redeemer, our Pursuer, truly, the Lover of our Souls.
You are Truth, in a world wracked by Lies.
You are Light in darkness.
You are Hope for the hopeless.
You are Grace for the undeserving.
You offer Wisdom to the foolish,
Comfort to the broken,
And Healing for all our afflictions.
You are extravagant & overwhelming Love.
You are Life.
And although we come together this morning to proclaim our worship for You, the truth is that most of our daily lives are battles to live like we really follow You.
We allow ourselves to be pulled in so many directions. We fail to pause and remember the anchoring truth of who you are.
We are distracted by our temporary circumstances and forget that You are eternal.
Because of our pride, our self-centeredness, our sin nature,
We confess that we do what we should not and
We don’t do the things we know your love should compel us to do.
We treat You like an accessory in our lives, a secret weapon for times when we ‘really’ need you. God, why is it so hard for us to admit that we really need You all the time.
Even as we quiet ourselves this morning, areas of our life come to mind that we know You would have us deal with so we can live the abundant life You have promised.
Lord, the truth is that we don’t like dealing with things that are too wonderful for us to understand…It makes us feel small, so we relegate You to only certain areas of our life and leave You on the backburner at other times.
And yet, in spite of our unfaithfulness, You love us anyway.
You love us with a love so big it compelled You to send Your one and only son to die. Your actions proved forevermore your character of mercy and grace.
Overwhelmed by the truth of the Gospel, we approach your throne with humility.
You look upon us with forgiveness and love.
We can’t comprehend it, but we adore you for it.
Thank you, Lord.
We bring our busy minds before you in humble worship, even as we struggle to grasp the enormity of WHO You are:
The Great I AM.
The Alpha & Omega.
You have always been and will always be.
On this gorgeous September morning, we are reminded that you are our all powerful, Creator.
You are our Sustainer, our Redeemer, our Pursuer, truly, the Lover of our Souls.
You are Truth, in a world wracked by Lies.
You are Light in darkness.
You are Hope for the hopeless.
You are Grace for the undeserving.
You offer Wisdom to the foolish,
Comfort to the broken,
And Healing for all our afflictions.
You are extravagant & overwhelming Love.
You are Life.
And although we come together this morning to proclaim our worship for You, the truth is that most of our daily lives are battles to live like we really follow You.
We allow ourselves to be pulled in so many directions. We fail to pause and remember the anchoring truth of who you are.
We are distracted by our temporary circumstances and forget that You are eternal.
Because of our pride, our self-centeredness, our sin nature,
We confess that we do what we should not and
We don’t do the things we know your love should compel us to do.
We treat You like an accessory in our lives, a secret weapon for times when we ‘really’ need you. God, why is it so hard for us to admit that we really need You all the time.
Even as we quiet ourselves this morning, areas of our life come to mind that we know You would have us deal with so we can live the abundant life You have promised.
Lord, the truth is that we don’t like dealing with things that are too wonderful for us to understand…It makes us feel small, so we relegate You to only certain areas of our life and leave You on the backburner at other times.
And yet, in spite of our unfaithfulness, You love us anyway.
You love us with a love so big it compelled You to send Your one and only son to die. Your actions proved forevermore your character of mercy and grace.
Overwhelmed by the truth of the Gospel, we approach your throne with humility.
You look upon us with forgiveness and love.
We can’t comprehend it, but we adore you for it.
Thank you, Lord.
Friday, September 07, 2012
A Benediction for the Nation
I don't get into politics online, but when I saw this on a friend's facebook feed I simply had to pass it along.
This is not about politics. This is community. This is living as children of God together on this Earth. This is God honoring, grace at its best.
I have printed it out (from the link above) so that I may pray it each time something political or otherwise divisive gets my blood pumping.
What would it look like if all across America the faithful were praying this for the next 60 days? Can you even imagine?
I have printed it out (from the link above) so that I may pray it each time something political or otherwise divisive gets my blood pumping.
What would it look like if all across America the faithful were praying this for the next 60 days? Can you even imagine?
Sunday, April 29, 2012
A Simple Strategy with Deep Implications
As I blogged last night, my husband and I each had special weekends with our kiddos. This afternoon we were reunited over pizza and tales of our adventures.
After the 7 year old members of our family had been put to bed, my husband and I sat in the kitchen and recapped our observations of our children through the events of the last 36 hours. I'd venture to say that it was my favorite part of the weekend.
We discussed their uniqueness in both their gifts and their rough edges. We talked about what seems to make them tick, what stirs their passions, where they seem to be most successful and what they found frustrating. And we agreed that of all the fun 'things' we did this weekend, the very best part was having space to just connect...for my husband it was a three hour canoeing excursion with the boys. For me it was the time between events K & I just spent chatting. The activities were the draw, but the conversation was the main event.
I simply adore this age. The questions, the assumptions, the way their brains are beginning to pull life together--the glimpses of compassion, friendship, selflessness. We clearly have our normal 7 year old struggles, but these little sneak peaks at the work God is doing in their hearts astounds me.
And because all these years of behavior modification are finally beginning to gel a bit--the cry of my heart is to let them know that I couldn't love them any more, nor could I love them any less. While I know what they are capable of behaviorwise and take seriously my role as their 'life trainer,' my affections for them are not based on the kind of day they had.
I am in a funny place with my parenting strategy these days. My pendulum has shifted back to simplicity. I have put away the checklists and the parenting books for a bit and am focusing on the basics: Loving God. Loving others.
It is far less defined than the checklists that once hung on my refrigerator. But the truth is, everything on those checklists falls into these two categories: Respect for others, honesty, humility, generosity, patience, prayer, faith, self control.
Even though the strategy seems simpler, doing it remains challenging. I am a sinner in a world full of sinners. People are hard. Life is complicated. I have hormones and frustrating days. Everyone else isn't always playing by these rules...but right now I have peace that God just wants me to wake each day committed to loving Him with every fiber in me...and loving other people the way I love myself.
I have become convinced that if my children leave their 19 years in our home knowing a love not based on performance and understanding the centrality of loving God ferociously and other people radically, they will be in His Will.
And laying my head on my pillow at night having spent my day worried with how to do that (as opposed to the 100s of other things I could have worried over instead) will bring the very best kind of peaceful sleep.
Now, Lord, I beg you for the courage, endurance and selflessness required to follow through.
After the 7 year old members of our family had been put to bed, my husband and I sat in the kitchen and recapped our observations of our children through the events of the last 36 hours. I'd venture to say that it was my favorite part of the weekend.
We discussed their uniqueness in both their gifts and their rough edges. We talked about what seems to make them tick, what stirs their passions, where they seem to be most successful and what they found frustrating. And we agreed that of all the fun 'things' we did this weekend, the very best part was having space to just connect...for my husband it was a three hour canoeing excursion with the boys. For me it was the time between events K & I just spent chatting. The activities were the draw, but the conversation was the main event.
I simply adore this age. The questions, the assumptions, the way their brains are beginning to pull life together--the glimpses of compassion, friendship, selflessness. We clearly have our normal 7 year old struggles, but these little sneak peaks at the work God is doing in their hearts astounds me.
And because all these years of behavior modification are finally beginning to gel a bit--the cry of my heart is to let them know that I couldn't love them any more, nor could I love them any less. While I know what they are capable of behaviorwise and take seriously my role as their 'life trainer,' my affections for them are not based on the kind of day they had.
I am in a funny place with my parenting strategy these days. My pendulum has shifted back to simplicity. I have put away the checklists and the parenting books for a bit and am focusing on the basics: Loving God. Loving others.
It is far less defined than the checklists that once hung on my refrigerator. But the truth is, everything on those checklists falls into these two categories: Respect for others, honesty, humility, generosity, patience, prayer, faith, self control.
Even though the strategy seems simpler, doing it remains challenging. I am a sinner in a world full of sinners. People are hard. Life is complicated. I have hormones and frustrating days. Everyone else isn't always playing by these rules...but right now I have peace that God just wants me to wake each day committed to loving Him with every fiber in me...and loving other people the way I love myself.
I have become convinced that if my children leave their 19 years in our home knowing a love not based on performance and understanding the centrality of loving God ferociously and other people radically, they will be in His Will.
And laying my head on my pillow at night having spent my day worried with how to do that (as opposed to the 100s of other things I could have worried over instead) will bring the very best kind of peaceful sleep.
Now, Lord, I beg you for the courage, endurance and selflessness required to follow through.
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