The Night Before Court

It has been 10 1/2 months since the phone call asking if we could take in two little girls. All we were told on that Spring afternoon was gender, age and names (ironically, one of which was wrong). Until they showed up on our doorstep, we had no idea about their race, hair color or last names--much less the more intimate details like what foods they like and don't, favorite colors, future hopes, fears and shoe size.

We entered into foster care hoping to provide some breathing room for a family in crisis--feeling called to make space for troubled adults to work out their issues and be reunified with their children. In the last 10 months glimpses of a complicated back story have come bit by bit through our girls, their siblings and some good old fashioned google/facebook searching.

After all this time, I am still trying to put together the story that led to this place... amazed at how the choices of people I had never met could so powerfully impact the life of my family. We are forever changed as a result of the struggles of these strangers.

We've done our best to keep going with "normal life." This week it was Spring Break, Easter & a birthday. Tomorrow I will be back at the courthouse--for the 5th time in 10 months--to hear what other virtual strangers (attorneys, judge, experts) think about the next steps in these girls' lives. Honestly, one of the most surreal aspects of this process/system is that despite our intimate involvement as interim parents, I will be present as a mere spectator. I am not required to attend, nor will I be called upon to speak or offer an opinion.

The fate of these girls, their siblings and my little family will be directly effected by decisions and timelines--and we don't have the slightest idea about the outcome. THIS is the most challenging (and sanctifying!) part of being a foster parent--the complete lack of control. Frankly, the longer we are in this role the more I have learned to accept it. The outcome I envision has changed drastically and repeatedly in the last few months. My role is to serve, not to decide.

Although I am an advocate at heart, I no longer feel confident about what direction I am even hoping this all goes. The Lord as been teaching me there is a fine line between advocacy and arrogance. I think of Peter trying to stop the high priest's servant who came to collect Jesus that fateful night in the Garden--as if he knew better than our Lord what should happen next.

The timing of this season seems to be no small coincidence. I feel God showing me how this is an Easter story.

I carry an agony of the difficult goodbyes/transitions in our future, the Friday hopelessness of all the pain these little hearts carry, the silence of Saturday waiting and wondering if God has forgotten about us and the Sunday joy of resurrection and redemption...I am hopeful, exhausted, and slightly afraid. Mostly, I just want to know the plan and to be able to tell the hearts in my home what to expect. 

I want to protect and prepare them. But in the end, I don't know what God is up to. I don't know which direction this story is heading--or the timeline within which it will occur. I cannot trace His Hand, so I must choose to trust His heart.

So I breathe deep. I pray. And I show up to find out a future God already knows.

An Easter hymn seems most appropriate: "Because He Lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He Lives, all fear is gone. Because I know He holds the future..."

If you have a moment to remember our crew tomorrow, it would be appreciated. Lots of anticipation among everyone involved. Pray for truth to be made plain, for wisdom to prevail and for peace and calm assurance to envelope all the hearts involved.

Easter 2015 (in pictures)

What a fulfilling Easter celebration we enjoyed this year! While there is still a twinkle in the children's eyes at them mention of the Easter Bunny, R announced this was the last year he would be leaving a basket out for the big eared gift deliverer. (To which P replied, "Are you kidding? I'm leaving out a basket until I am 40!" That's my boy!)

We also had NO TAKERS on formal Easter Egg Hunting Saturday. (I did manage to get them to engage in one quick backyard hunt when money was involved. But since I am cheap and the prize egg was only $1, it didn't last!)

My heart hurt a little over this 'outgrown' tradition, but loved the time we spent as a family on the trampoline instead. Casual clothes, giggles and an impromptu pile of love. 

There was also great delight in attempting to play basketball with raw eggs...oh, ten year olds...

 

Saturday night saw the visit on out of town friends--hours of backyard play, marshmallow roasting over the firepit, blankets and BBQ.

Sunday, after basket reveals and the early church service and Sunday School we journeyed down to Atlanta for the treat of lunch with both sets of grandparents and the gift of time with my Grandmama Dobbs.

I am grateful to my gracious mother-in-law for her gift of hospitality...this gorgeous setting and delicious shrimp & grits!

After lunch we had lots of time outside enjoying sunny Spring weather.

 (The fact that this photo is waist up disguises the muddy barefeet that had just been in the creek catching frogs...better than an Easter Egg Hunt in my girl's book!) 

Church, food, family, Spring sunshine and barefeet...a fitting celebration of the full LIFE of grace and love we have because of Jesus.

My heart is exceedingly grateful <3>

Easter

I have so very much to write about our Easter celebrations, about the Masters golf tournament, about life and motherhood...but all of it is going to have to wait because the only thing that seems appropriate on Easter Sunday is this passage from I Corinthians 15 (Message translation)

¹³ If there's no resurrection, there's no living Christ. And face it—if there's no resurrection for Christ, everything we've told you is smoke and mirrors, and everything you've staked your life on is smoke and mirrors. Not only that, but we would be guilty of telling a string of barefaced lies about God, all these affidavits we passed on to you verifying that God raised up Christ—sheer fabrications, if there's no resurrection.

^{30, 32}And why do you think I keep risking my neck in this dangerous work? It's resurrection, resurrection, always resurrection, that undergirds what I do and say, the way I live. If there's no resurrection, "We eat, we drink, the next day we die," and that's all there is to it. But don't fool yourselves.

^35-38Some skeptic is sure to ask, "Show me how resurrection works. Give me a diagram; draw me a picture. What does this 'resurrection body' look like?" If you look at this question closely, you realize how absurd it is. There are no diagrams for this kind of thing. We do have a parallel experience in gardening. You plant a "dead" seed; soon there is a flourishing plant. There is no visual likeness between seed and plant. You could never guess what a tomato would look like by looking at a tomato seed. What we plant in the soil and what grows out of it don't look anything alike. The dead body that we bury in the ground and the resurrection body that comes from it will be dramatically different.

⁵⁶ The saying will come true:
Death swallowed by triumphant Life!
Who got the last word, oh, Death?
Oh, Death, who's afraid of you now?

⁵⁸With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don't hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort.

I was 13 years old when I first began to grasp the significance of the Cross and the Resurrection. But, today, 24 years later as I listened to Andy Stanley preach on this passage at Buckhead Church it was as if blinders had fallen off again. The Resurrection is the key to all that we believe. It is what makes Jesus the Christ as opposed to simply being an inspirational man.

It is why we rejoice that life does not end for us at the grave. Sin can be overcome. God sent us a Savior.

Tomorrow I'll probably write about outfits, bunnies and Easter egg hunts. I might even talk about that precious Southern Daddy that won a certain golf tourney today. But, tonight the cross is still center stage.

O, praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead. Jesus.
-Kristian Stanfill, Jesus Paid it All

Oh, Happy Day!

I have an image lingering in my brain of P dancing joyfully (and playing air guitar) to "Oh, Happy Day" during church this morning. It was a fitting description of our day.

After church we went to Atlanta to visit with sweet Nana who is finally starting to feel the weakness of her 90s. Then we met family and friends for an Easter feast!

The afternoon was filled with egg hunting, puppy play,
and general Spring time joyfulness.We even managed to squeeze in a birthday celebration for Granddaddy.
The day was capped off with another feast: breakfast for dinner made by my sweet mother-in-law. Four hours later, my tummy is still full. And like my moniker, so is my heart.

Seriously...thisplus this
AND this...
is enough to make me feel quite overwhelmed sometimes. When I think about how close I came almost 7 years ago to missing all of this...I am human and broken and frail and I get impatient and snippy and selfish. Yet, when I pause I realize I don't ever want to take for granted all the love I am blessed to have in my life.

It is only possible because of the Author of Love.
We love each other because He loved us first. I John 4:19

I am stunned when I consider that it is but a FRACTION of the lavish love God has for His children.

And it is not even remotely because we deserve it. All the yuck that lurks deep in the hearts of all of us who dressed up in our finery today is known by Him. We can't 'gussy' that up! It is THE reason we celebrate. We should go and make much of what He has done for us!

K & I both wore the same dresses we wore for Easter last year. I didn't think she would remember. But as we were dressing in my closet this morning she said, "Mama, I know why you like for us to wear these white dresses on Easter."
(Truth be told it is quite shallow...they coordinate with the boys' seer sucker pants. What she said next made me SO glad I didn't tell her that.)
"I know it's because Jesus died on the cross to wash our sins away and make us white and clean."

Out of the mouths of babes! We may keep wearing these white dresses as long as they fit us, just for the reminder!

Oh happy day, happy day
You washed my sin away
Oh happy day, happy day
I'll never be the same
Forever I am changed

-Happy Day, by Tim Hughes

He is risen. He is risen indeed. Hallelujah!

Good Friday

An absolutely beautiful post by my real life friend, Katie...

It's Friday, but Sunday's coming!

Sinking

For the last few weeks we have been planning to host the Kindergarten Easter Egg Hunt at our house. The only real preparation required on my part is a mowed lawn and some poop scooping in the morning before the children arrive. Easy, right?

Well, Saturday afternoon K came barreling in the back door, frantically expressing her concern for the safety of our kitties.

"I am scared they are going to fall into the hole, Mama!" she cried.

K is extremely safety conscious and protective when it comes to our pets, so I was not overly concerned. I went out into the yard with her to assure her this 'hole' was not a big deal.

You can imagine my shock when I saw the hole in question--the opening was only about 4 feet wide, but as I peered in I could not see the bottom. It was also clear that the opening was much smaller than actual width of the hole. I tossed a nearby stick into the hole in an effort to judge the depth and was astonished by how far it fell.

This photo does a very poor job of portraying the depth. It was literally 20-22 feet deep.
This morning was spent getting the hole repaired so that none of my 34 little egg hunters would fall in tomorrow. Two whole truckloads of gravel were required to fill the gaping space.

I was left scratching my head. What if one of my children had been walking across when the Earth gave way? How could something so dangerous be growing beneath the service without any indication?

I am such a metaphor girl that this spoke to me, of course.

I have been thinking a lot about the pain and/or shame many people are carrying around on a daily basis. Their outer shells may show little or no indication of what is really going on beneath. Their hearts may feel like caverns--hollowed from the inside--unbeknown to the rest of the world. Tonight I am burdened for those folks.

This is not the way it was meant to be. God created us and wired us for fellowship--with Him and with others. He wants to fill you up before you collapse...and not with dirt that can wash away again...but with solid rock that will stand the test of time, come what may.

He longs to fill us. It is but ours to open up and take it. Don't hide in your darkness.

"Roll away your stone, I’ll roll away mine
Together we can see what we will find
Don’t leave me alone at this time,
For I'm afraid of what I will discover inside

Cause you told me that I would find a hole,
Within the fragile substance of my soul
And I have filled this void with things unreal,
And all the while my character it steals

Darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?
And yet it dominates the things I see

It seems that all my bridges have been burned,
But you say that’s exactly how this grace thing works
It’s not the long walk home that will change this heart,
But the welcome I receive with the restart"
-Roll Away Your Stone, Mumford & Sons

This is the hope of Easter. God sent Jesus to walk here with us. He felt human emotions. He bore our pain and grief in order to set us free. Roll away your stone and let Him in.

Easter 2010

Happy Easter!

I almost titled this post with the words 'outtakes,' but that would somehow imply there were 'intakes.' It is getting more and more difficult to get pictures of the trio together, looking in the direction of the camera and smiling...so, instead, I present real life...P's new pose cracks me up. Work it, buddy!

Once given permission to be silly, the real smiles came out.

I love this picture for many reasons...the Easter Bunny in the background (unbeknownst to us) and the fact that R is trying to escape while his Daddy keeps him in place...all while smiling as if nothing is amiss.

My favorite picture from the day, however, is this one...Do you see the candy wrapper in his right hand. We were just about to sit down for lunch--and the "no more candy' mandate had been issued. This is the face of a busted little guy.

It was a gorgeous day of celebration.

Christ is Risen, Alleluia!

Easter's Promise

As I sit here on Easter Eve, I must confess I have mixed emotions. This Easter means more to me than any other I have celebrated so far. The reality of death is very fresh in my heart as we celebrate the resurrection where Jesus Christ conquered death. Tomorrow we will rejoice that sin has lost its power and that 'death has lost its sting.'

Yet, tonight, my heart stings. In addition to the passing Monday of our friend Sweeney, we lost another friend (who also happens to be our accountant) to cancer this morning. He was a 38 year old father of three. He loved his family and he loved his Lord. Next week I will attend services two days in a row for men my age.

I absolutely know that both Mike & Shane are healed and whole for eternity. This faith makes the process of grieving them easier. Truly, we do not mourn as those who have no hope. Yet, my little town is full of people tonight who are sad because we have lost great friends. We rejoice for them and mourn for those left behind.

I sincerely hope this isn't misconstrued as somehow sacrilegious or lacking in faith. My heart's intent is neither. I am just being honest. Death has indeed lost its eternal sting, but I think there is a bit of earthly sting left behind. My heart feels like there is anyway.

As I was writing, I stopped to deal with some of my sadness with God. I picked up Trusting God Even When Life Hurts by Jerry Bridges. These two passages jumped right out of the book:

"Our greatest need is not freedom from adversity. All the possible calamities that could occur in this life cannot in any way be compared with the absolute calamity of eternal separation from God. So when John said that God showed His love by sending His Son, he was saying God showed His love for us by meeting our greatest need--a need so great that no other need can even come close to it in comparison. Calvary is the one objective, absolute, irrefutable proof of God's love for us."

"Any time that we are tempted to doubt God's love for us, we should go back to the Cross. We should reason somewhat in this fashion: If God loved me enough to give His Son to die for me when I was His enemy, surely He loves me enough to care for me now that I am His child. Having loved me to the ultimate extent at the Cross, He cannot possible fail to love me in my times of adversity. Having given such a priceless gift of His Son, surely He will also give all else that is consistent with His glory and my good."

He's God. I am not. He has plans. He is Sovereign. He is trustworthy. He paid the ultimate price for me. He conquered death. He can handle this.

Thank you, Lord, that you are consistent, loving and worthy to be praised. I need to be reminded of Your position--and mine. Thank you for hearing the cries of your people and sending Your comfort.

Thank you, even, for this sting that reminds me to take life and death seriously. Eternity is at stake. 

Thank you for the indisputable, incomprehensible gift of your Son. Thank you, this week, for the reminder that You have indeed conquered death.

Happy Easter!

Easter 2009

We had a picture perfect Easter weekend. There was gorgeous Spring weather, quality couple time, fun family time, delicious brunch, cute coordinating outfits, scrumptious chocolate treats, and a yummy sushi dinner as we watched an exciting playoff to the Masters this evening. Yet, I am keenly aware that my lasting memory of this day will be our morning worship experience at Buckhead Church.

This was the most meaningful Easter service I can remember attending. The focus was squarely and entirely on the cross and the the TRUTH of Jesus' resurrection. The focal point of the service was a cross that was covered in polaroid pictures of church attendees--what a poignant reminder of why Jesus stayed on that cross. We sang about it. We focused on it. We praised God for it.

I am not slamming the 'fun' parts of Easter--we thoroughly enjoyed those too! But may we never lose sight of the fact that Easter was not intended to be about candy and bunnies and Spring. It is a religious holiday about one thing: Jesus resurrected.

And this song? It means more to me today than 21 years ago when I tearfully walked the aisle of First Baptist Columbus.

When I survey the wondrous cross on which the Prince of Glory died;
my richest gain I count but loss, and pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast, save in the death of Christ, my God;

all the vain things that charm me most, I sacrifice them to his blood.

See, from his head, his hands, his feet, sorrow and love flow mingled down.

Did e'er such love and sorrow meet, or thorns compose so rich a crown.

Were the whole realm of nature mine, that were an offering far too small;

love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all.

Oh, the wonderful Cross bids me come and die and find that I can truly live!
~Isaac Watts

May these words never lose their meaning in our lives!

Oh, praise the One who paid my debt, who raised this life up from the dead: Jesus.

~Alex Nifong

HAPPY EASTER!

Good Friday

At the sixth hour darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour. And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"—which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
Mark 15:33-34 (NIV)

As I type, it is a dark, dreary, stormy Friday morning. I have felt a heaviness this week regarding illness, sin and death. It is everywhere all the time--this is nothing new, I know--but I am especially sensitive to its presence in the lives of so many close to me.

Yesterday I spoke with four good friends who have close family members right in the thick of their battle with cancer: a grandmother, a father, a mother-in-law and a husband. I feel such a hatred toward that disease right now. Who will be next?

As I was doing laundry yesterday with this heavy weight in my heart, I listened to the second message from an Andy Stanley sermon series called He's Still* Got the Whole World in His Hands. In this series Andy points out that the whole Bible is full of stories of turmoil, uncertainty and pain. How many stories from the Bible can you think of that are centered on smooth sailing and the absence of conflict? This is the story of this world.

Yet, today we observe the sacrifice necessary for ultimate victory over sin and death. This part of the story is painful and gut wrenching. Yet, without it, Easter Sunday would mean so little--and our hope...what would it mean for our hope?

I am reminded of an evening in the Fall of 1996 when I felt the most out of control, sad, alone and afraid I can ever remember feeling. (Truly, I think the feelings that afternoon were more intense than when I was in the ICU because I did not have the insulation of illness, pain medication and a loving husband.)

A perfect storm of difficult things had occurred in a short period of time. I had graduated from college and returned to my hometown to find it a very different place. None of my old friends were there--except for guy friends who were all newly married and therefore not appropriate friends for me anymore. My three best girl friends from college were engaged or newly married. The two women I was living with in Columbus were also both newly engaged. While I was thrilled for them, it meant they had new #1s in their life--and our friendship was edged out. I was struggling with all the real life lessons of car payments, rent, bills and making ends meet. My boyfriend and I were in the throes of a break up. I had also just learned that my little sister was unexpected pregnant and unmarried. Have I mentioned that I was also not particularly close to the Lord during this season? I felt so alone and so overwhelmed by the realities of adulthood.

I wound up on the doorstep of a precious friend, former small group leader and mentor, "Aunt Anne." I found myself sobbing uncontrollably on her sofa explaining how 'the only thing left to go wrong is for someone to die or to lose my job.' When I managed to lift my head long enough to see her face, she had sympathetic tears wetting her eyes, but she was smiling!
WHAT? Was she not listening to me? How could she be smiling?

She must have sensed my frustration and confusion. She said, "Sweet Jennifer, I am sorry my response is to smile, but I am keenly aware God is about to do something huge in your life. This brokenness always comes to clear the way for something big."

By the way, you know the rest of the story...God was clearing the way for my heart to be brought back to Him and only Him. This preparation was necessary to enter into a healthy relationship with my husband. And that doorstep I showed up on of Aunt Anne's house? A year later I signed a contract to purchase that doorstep and the house that went with it. It happened to be the very day of my first date with my now-husband. We cannot get so caught up in our momentary circumstances--regardless of how very painful and Earth-shattering they seem at the time. We have no idea what God is up to!

I think about how the followers of Jesus must have felt on that dark Friday 2000 years ago...Confusion, abandonment, frustration, disappointment. They had been warned this was coming, just as we are warned over and over in Scripture that this world IS NOT our home. And, yet our hearts cry out, "This isn't what I thought was going to happen God."

I am reminded of the Sovereignty and consistency of God. It may be Friday, but Sunday is coming.

Easter Thoughts

I had the opportunity to attend a half day retreat led by John Eldredge back in 2000, shortly after reading Sacred Romance. He is a gifted communicator-especially when conveying the passion of our Lord.

I hope it is clear from my writing that I do not consider myself without sin by any stretch of the imagination. I do, unfortunately, all too often fall into the trap of unconsciously ranking sin. Sometimes I even go so far as justifying my judgment about the 'big sinners' as righteous anger.

God has put several passages of Scripture (and great conversations with good friends) in my face this week to remind me that my condition is no different than the alcoholic mother, the adulterer, the homeless drug addict...

When this popped up in my e-mail this morning from Emmy, it was a moving reminder of our upcoming Easter celebration and why it really matters.

Have you ever had to literally turn a lover over to a mortal enemy to allow her to find out for herself what his intentions toward her really were? Have you ever had to lie in bed knowing she was believing his lies and was having sex with him every night? Have you ever sat helplessly by in a parking lot, while your enemy and his friends took turns raping your lover even as you sat nearby, unable to win her heart enough so she would trust you to rescue her? Have you ever called this one you had loved for so long, even the day after her rape, and asked her if she was ready to come back to you only to have her say her heart was still captured by your enemy? Have you ever watched your lover’s beauty slowly diminish and fade in a haze of alcohol, drugs, occult practices, and infant sacrifice until she is no longer recognizable in body or soul? Have you ever loved one so much that you even send your only son to talk with her about your love for her, knowing that he will be killed by her? (And in spite of knowing all of this, he was willing to do it because he loved her, too, and believed you were meant for each other.)

All this and more God has endured because of his refusal to stop loving us. Indeed, the very depth and faithfulness of his love for us, along with his desire for our freely given love in return, are what give Satan the ammunition to wound God so deeply as he carries out his unceasing campaign to make us into God’s enemy.

(John Eldredge, The Sacred Romance , 106)

Mommy's Easter Lesson

Today started early. Because my husband is on call this weekend, we have scarcely seen his face. I heard his voice a bit on the phone in the bed next to me until about 1am when he got out of bed and went into the hospital to operate. He returned around 5am to rest a bit and wait for the children to wake up. Because we have still not adjusted to Daylight Savings, they actually slept until about 7:15. We scrambled downstairs to see if the Easter Bunny had paid us a visit, checked on our Easter Story cookies (mine didn’t work out well, they were not hollow…were yours?), then sent Daddy to usher at the early service, make rounds and (hopefully) join us for the 11 o’clock service and lunch.

Over breakfast the children and I were talking about what it meant that He is alive…I started humming a song I couldn’t remember the lyrics too, which led to a youtube search. Next thing you know, the children and I are watching Dolly Parton on youtube singing a different He’s Alive. This led to the Don Francisco version and ultimately a few scenes from The Passion of the Christ as we ate our bacon and eggs. The children were actually very interested and therefore learning a lot about Easter. I was pleased with how our day was going until I looked at the clock, then looked at the four of us and realized it was going to be an Easter miracle for us to make it to Sunday School.

This is where the day took a turn for the worst. Suddenly, Snappy & Impatient Mommy reared her ugly head. I put the children in front of Max and Ruby while I dashed to get dressed. Because I had put no thought at all into what I was going to wear, I was grumpy as I scrambled through my closet. There was no time for a shower, so I did my best to pull myself together, then moved on to the children.

I pulled out their new clothes and shoes. Everything looked a bit wrinkled, but being on-time was still within reach, so I opted to skip the ironing and dress everyone. As I pulled out the new shoes I realized I had a lot of lacing to do! Once they were dressed, I looked at the children and groaned. They were ridiculously wrinkled. I set up the ironing board, stripped them all and attempted speed starching and pressing. Once everyone was redressed we ran for the door, I snapped at everyone's heels a little more for good measure, buckled us in (me still sans make-up) and glanced at the clock: 10:05. We were late. I was stressed. The children were even more wrinkled than they had been before.

Suddenly, I heard that still, small voice question my attitude, my motives, my heart. Yuck! We had experienced more about the meaning of Easter one hour before around my kitchen island watching youtube videos than we were feeling now, dressed in our finery, obediently heading to church. I had even forgotten to get a picture! I exhaled deeply and starting singing my own Easter version of "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning" for the children. When we arrived at church I exhaled again, brushed my hair, put on my make-up and resolved to Get Over It. We were late. In the grand scheme of things, so what? (And lots of other people were walking in at the same time! :-)

The Sunday School lesson started right as I arrived. The church service was beautiful and meaningful. The message was one God had already been teaching me all morning: the paradox of Jesus, fully God and fully Man. I really try to focus on things above, but I fail miserably. As I tell my children about loving others and keeping an eternal perspective, I all too often model frustration and a preoccupation with the material and insignificant.

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
Romans 7:21-25

That's it! The reason we celebrate Easter, the reason I need Him, is that no matter how well we appear and well-intentioned we are, sin is right beneath the surface. He has been victorious over this sin that entraps me AND He loves me and extends grace and forgiveness to my shallow, snappy, messing-it-up-more-than-getting-it-right self.

I sat next to a couple that has been visiting our church for the past couple of months. Their outward appearance is a far cry from the white, professional, upper middle class majority in our ranks. Their countenance, their kindness...that is a whole different story! They simply exude joy and love. What a blessing to sit with them this morning as they were the only folks in our grand sanctuary actually verbalizing the Amens and Hallelujahs many others were feeling!

My husband arrived midway through the service and accompanied us to lunch at our usual restaurant. As our waiter (who serves us weekly after church) greeted us, my P exclaimed, "Jesus is ALIVE! Did you know that?"

I am so glad my kids get it...and that God's tug on their lives is strong enough to cover the multitude of sins and failures of their Mom!

Daddy was paged back to the hospital for an emergency just as we were seated. I managed to get food for everyone from the buffet (a couple of times) and take R to the potty thanks to the kindness of friends in the restaurant! Somehow I even managed to remain calm and smile as chocolate mousse spots dotted all three of the children (and I still needed to snap a picture.) I guess I got my Easter miracle afterall!

Easter Pictures 2008

For the grandparents...

Show and Tell

I am very late blogging tonight because my husband and I both had a lot going on today to catch up on after we put the children to bed. When our conversation reached a point where he was trying to explain the 'cool physics' of an MRI machine to me, I decided it was time to retreat to blogging then get to bed. Seriously, you just cannot imagine the excitement of my sweet scientist explaining atoms, protons, neutrons and radio frequencies...Meanwhile, as hard as I tried, all I could hear was the old Charlie Brown teacher voice, "Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah."

For weeks I have intended to write about the trials and travails of our Thursday mornings as we prepare for Show and Tell. Trying to help the children find three separate, but equally cool, items that fit in a backpack, are not fragile and start with the letter of the week is quite an experience. Especially when you consider the temperamental tastes of my three year olds.

A few weeks ago, I forgot about Q until we were within 15 minutes of departure time. As I hit panic mode and found myself googling "preschool show-and-tell letter Q" I realized it would be a great public service to one day post a list if ideas from A-Z.

This week there was no letter, but the emphasis was on Easter. Over breakfast I asked the children what Easter-related thing they wanted to take for show and tell. R, who always wants to pick first, asked if he could take one of our 'wes-sa-wex-shun eggs.' As he perused the carton, I wondered which egg he would choose. I felt sure something like the dice, the donkey or the spear would be selected. Then he said, "I want the cross made out of nails." It was a precious moment that ended too quickly as K & P remembered the obnoxious, fluorescent, stuffed singing ducks and bunnies they received on their first Easter and begged to take them.

R's face fell. "Oh, I should take one of those. That's better."

I assured him that what he was taking was very special. As we were loading up the car, I prepared myself that he may very well change his mind about what to take. I reminded myself that they are only three. I don't want to cram Christianity down their throat. I want to present it day in and day out and allow God to woo them unto Himself. I was disappointed as I watched the lure of bright and shiny overshadow the less than glamorous truth of the holiday. But without expectation, I asked him one last time what he wanted and he said the cross and the egg. I reiterated how special his items were, because they represented what Easter was all about.

"Yeah," P said, "Easter is all about the eggs." Sigh.

When I went to pick them up this afternoon I was a bit early, so I went into their classroom. Their substitute teacher said, "You should have been here for Show and Tell today." My mind starting racing Oh No! He had a meltdown. They all must think I am a religious nut case making him bring this instead of a fun singing stuffed animal. I hope they know he picked it...

"What happened," I asked as I cringed, "Did he fall apart?"

"Oh, no. He actually did a beautiful job telling the whole Easter story to the class. He didn't leave out a detail. He even told them Jesus was wrapped in a linen cloth when he was put in the tomb."

I saw R in my peripheral vision, listening intently to our interchange. As I looked directly at him with a huge smile his little chest tripled its size. I love that precious little man!

I also love that our all-powerful, all-knowing, incredible God made the Gospel so simple and compelling that a three year old can get it--and that we, too, are called to show His love and tell the story.

A little child shall lead them...

Jelly Bean Prayer

Another easy Easter project to do with your children is the Jelly Bean Prayer. I had to buy two different types of jelly beans to get all the colors, but it was worth it. We made these as class gifts by packing snack sized plastic storage bags with one bean of each color and then printing and enclosing this prayer.

As the kids put the colors in they told me what they stood for. Easy, fun, age appropriate, meaningful and yummy!

Little jelly beans
Tell a story true.
A tale of our Father's love
That's just for me and you.

GREEN is for the new spring grass.
YELLOW is for the sun above.
ORANGE is for the soft earth where
People sat hearing of His love.

PURPLE is for the robe He wore,
RED is for that precious wine.
BLACK is for the sins He washed
From your soul and mine.

BLUE is for the sadness of
His friends and family,
and WHITE is for the glory of the Day
He rose for you and me.

Now that you've heard the story
You know what each color means.
The story of our Father's love
As told by jelly beans.

I did not write this poem, but found it online. There are a few different versions. This one did not have an author credited. (Note: I changed the original version's brown to orange because I could not find brown jelly beans!)

Easter Happies

Here are a few great ideas for involving your children in celebrating Easter:

First, these Resurrection Eggs are fantastic. The package contains a dozen brightly colored plastic eggs. Each egg has a different symbol inside. There is a also a small guide that gives you a verse and an explanation for each symbol which has facilitated really great conversation (that is age appropriate) in our family regarding the Christian celebration of Easter. I highly recommend them!

Second, Elizabeth sent me this recipe for Easter Story Cookies. I haven't tried it yet but it looks terrific. (While looking at the site, I also found one for Resurrection Buns that looks neat, too.)

Finally, my friend Laurie did this handmade Easter card activity with her children this morning and said it was easy and cute. There is still time to get these in the mail. (Don't peek grandparents, you'll see in your mailbox in a few days.)

Feel free to leave other ideas in the comments!