Friday, May 09, 2014

Listening to Little Love Languages

I fancy myself a bit of an amateur sociologist. Fascinated by people and what makes them tick, I have attempted to be a student of my children. Who are they? What's God up to in those little hearts? What do they need from me?

We've talked about things like "love tanks." I've asked them questions about how I can love them best--and predictably, as children, sometimes they've been better able to express their true needs than others. I am quite sure they wouldn't been able to articulate their love languages with words--but they are becoming quite clear at age almost-ten.

It was very apparent this morning at Muffins for Moms. As I read the letters they had written me and the "coupon books" each Third Grader was encouraged to make it became undeniable how uniquely each of my trio give and receive love.

My girl is undoubtedly acts of service. Her coupons were tasks that might lighten my workload: making my bed, laundry, dishes, car wash, breakfast in bed. Even her letter was complimentary of the things I do.

My introverted P's letter screamed of his love for physical touch and words of affirmation. His offers were snuggles, back scratches, kisses and hugs. All marked by little hearts and scrawls of  "I love you, Mom." And seriously, this beautifully written cursive letter melted my heart.

And, man oh man, is R a quality time guy. He feels love through play. His letter was about places we've been together, the photos he selected were from adventures we've taken and his coupons were all other experiences we can share: putt putt, bowling, go karting. (I asked if he intended to pay :-)

As I surveyed my stack a wide grin spread across my face. This is the way they seek to express love to me because it is what speaks love to their little hearts.

And it is most definitely not a formula. They shared seven months in a womb...but their love languages are as different as their appearances.

Thank you, Lord, for these glimpses and sign posts along the way...While so much of this parenting journey is mysterious, your guiding hand that is present and trustworthy. May we be found faithful in keeping our eyes and ears open.

Even if they they don't realize it, our kids are telling us who they are and what they need all the time--we just have to learn to SLOW DOWN, listen and pay attention.


LeighAnn said...

Happy Mother's Day...Your children are very blessed to have a mother who wants to know them as individuals. :)

Liz said...

So precious!!! :) I always love your posts!!

But on a random side note, did you mean to include the note & coupon that show R's full name? I know you're usually pretty careful to just call the kids by initials here on the blog.

Keri said...

Wow, what a beautifully clear indication of their love languages! And what a priceless letter from P...just priceless!

JMom said...

Thanks Liz! I have lightened up a little as they've aged. Still trying to avoid using them in searchable text. I appreciate you having an eye on that!!