Flourish

I didn't intend to take a step away from the blog this Summer, but being an activities coordinator and co-adventurer with my tribe has left little margin for reflection or writing. Instead, I have found myself operating in a mode that my inner control freak generally resists--riding the wave and largely taking things day by day.

While my laundry room and home office may disagree, it has actually been beneficial in many ways. I think I am finally finding rhythm to Summer that has far less to do with schedule and goals than I have attempted in years past. While I remain committed to intentionality, this Summer has been far more about organic growth than checklists. And it is well with my soul.

Backing off has allowed my children to blossom like wild flowers. Emotionally, physically, spiritually I feel like there are sprouts everywhere--some where I would have chosen and others, well, I am learning to appreciate their untamed and unexpected beauty. This is not exactly shaping up to be the garden I would have planned. I stand amazed, challenged (and sometimes exhausted) by a Creator and Author with plans my mind cannot comprehend.

It has absolutely not all been a bed of roses--with an increase in time together we have ALL found ourselves getting our rough edges buffed out a bit! Most days I stumble and get bruised. I am impatient, tired and anxious to see how this is all going to turn out. As recently as this afternoon I found myself deeply convicted about an area where I seem to be as much of the problem as a particular child. We are works in progress.

A few days ago I saw this piece of art from my talented friend Laura and my soul shouted AMEN!

Flourish.

Isn't it a glorious word?

As grades and behavior become more of a focal point with my children's age, I pray that God will grant me this perspective. Perfection is NOT the goal, but rather healthy growth. With all of the sun and time and togetherness Summer offers, growth is happening. Soil is being tilled. Pruning is necessary. There are rocks and thorns all along the way to the blooms...but I can see buds. In their lives and in my own heart.

K, P, & R are children. My husband is a man. My friends and family are just people. And I am merely a fallible girl striving to make it through this world in a loving, God-honoring way.

I seem to return to John 15 over and over again. The idea of REMAINING in Him, rather than simply using God as a pit stop where I refuel and head back out to race on my own is a lesson I am continually struggling to learn. Flourishing requires staying plugged in to the source of my hope, strength and very life.

It means my prideful, self-seeking nature must be kept in check. Fear must be plucked out of my heart like weeds before it can take root and lead me down a road of misguided decision making. My independent spirit must surrender. I must abandon the notion that I have it all under control. This is the work of my heavenly Gardener--every. single. day.

This is what it means to really bloom here where I have been planted.

Lord, I want to flourish.

He will bless those who fear the Lord—
    small and great alike.

 May the Lord cause you to flourish,
    both you and your children.
 May you be blessed by the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

Psalm 115:13-15 NIV