One of my greatest struggles in writing this blog is trying to balance my internal dialogue with my external life. Much of what I write about is an effort decompress from my day, process something I have read or experienced and/or learn from my mistakes.
Because many of the people who read this also know me in 'real life' I can become crippled by fear of being a hypocrite. When I sit down to write I sometimes freeze...I can't write about that. I have failed miserably in the area this week. I am such a mess. Who on EARTH am I to exhort others?
If I listen to the voices too long I find myself defeated before I have begun and unable to write about anything of the Lord because of my inadequacy. This goes beyond writing by the way. It can be true in teaching, encouraging, mothering, marriage, living this life...
That nagging voice of doubt is one of the Enemy's greatest weapons. As I have been praying about its negative impact on my own life, I asked God to drown out the debilitating taunting with TRUTH. This verse came to mind:
"Not
that I have already obtained it or have already become
perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold
of that for which also I was laid
hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren,
I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one
thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and
reaching forward to what lies ahead, I
press on toward the goal for the prize of
the upward call of God in Christ
Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14 NASBBecause many of the people who read this also know me in 'real life' I can become crippled by fear of being a hypocrite. When I sit down to write I sometimes freeze...I can't write about that. I have failed miserably in the area this week. I am such a mess. Who on EARTH am I to exhort others?
If I listen to the voices too long I find myself defeated before I have begun and unable to write about anything of the Lord because of my inadequacy. This goes beyond writing by the way. It can be true in teaching, encouraging, mothering, marriage, living this life...
That nagging voice of doubt is one of the Enemy's greatest weapons. As I have been praying about its negative impact on my own life, I asked God to drown out the debilitating taunting with TRUTH. This verse came to mind:
What a reminder! We write not, speak not, encourage not, teach not as people who have been made perfect...but as those who are pursuing HE WHO IS perfect. It's different. One is about my performance and glory...the other is about Him. Trying doesn't make me a hypocrite.
I loved the Message translation's paraphrase:
"I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back."
Press on!
1 comment:
I really identify with this, and this is one of the reasons I quit blogging years ago. I wish I would have pressed on - don't quit!
Dena
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